


Logically Lucky

by PinkSweetSmoke



Series: When I Don't Remember You [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Big Gay Love Story, But it gets debunked, But there's overall canon-compliance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enthusiastic Consent, Everyone swears TBH, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hinata Hajime Swears, Hinata Hajime is still really damn observant, Hurt/Comfort, Komaeda Nagito's Luck Cycle, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, No Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Shooting Guns, Slow Burn, Suicide, Swearing, Switch/Verse Relationship, This fanfic relies heavily on the first installment so go read that first!, This fic contains heavy spoilers for DR2 and DR Anime Future/Despair Arcs, characters are around 18/19
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:48:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29950899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkSweetSmoke/pseuds/PinkSweetSmoke
Summary: 16 Ultimate Students wake up on an island. Two of them retain some recognition of one another.Hinata Hajime is a prickly, brutally honest, observant kind of guy. Komaeda Nagito is neurotic, eccentric, and somewhat delusional young man.And the Ultimate Hope Naegi Makoto is trying to figure out what the hell he can do from a distance.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Series: When I Don't Remember You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2192571
Comments: 219
Kudos: 130





	1. Trapped By The Scent of the Ocean Breeze

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! It's been maybe a few hours! As I promised, this is the first chapter of the second installment. If you haven't read part one - I highly suggest you do that first! You can find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825484/chapters/73382535
> 
> CW for very brief mentions (nothing graphic) of sexual assault, violence, and the like. These mentions are exceedingly brief, otherwise I would have put them in the tags. The only violence we'll be seeing later is canon-compliant. I hope you enjoy the start of part two!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata Hajime gets his bearings. Everything appears to be a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to part 2! If you have a sense of déjà vu, that is wholly intentional <3  
> CW for *very* brief mentions of sexual assault, violence, and cannibalism.

Complete and utter turmoil. Bodies littering the streets. A red-eyed man plowing through anyone in his way.

  
Ultimate Despairs killing, cannibalizing, raping, mutilating – the Future Foundation barely hanging on, holding onto hope, praying, fighting, working, programming.

  
A sea of paperwork, screams, the sound of a ballpoint pen tapping on thick layers of forms, an Ultimate Despair eating his mother alive, an Ultimate Despair skinning a child, an Ultimate Despair stitching on a dead woman’s hand, _an Ultimate Despair,  
an Ultimate Despair, an Ultimate –   
  
_

“Naegi, are you just going to stare into space, or are you going to boot up the program?”

“Ah! Sorry, Togami-kun. I think everything should be set up properly. Their memories have been modified and reset, and Usami seems to have everything in place. Kirigiri-san is double checking everything now with Alter Ego.”

“Good.” He seemed somewhat tired as he sat down, adjusting his glasses. “I’m choosing to trust you on this. Be grateful. The Future Foundation is just about ready to have your head on a platter and remember that my resources are the only thing between your neck and that plate. Understand?”

_Blunt as always._

“Understood, Togami-kun.” He chuckled, checking his phone for Kirigiri’s go-ahead. He finished writing an email to the Future Foundation, and as soon as hit clicked send, he heard his cellphone vibrate on the desk.

_  
**Message: Kirigiri Kyoko**_

**_Alter Ego is ready. Enter the password and boot up the simulation._ **

**_\- Kirigiri_ **

  
“She doesn’t have to sign her name every time she sends a text…” He mumbled, smiling to himself. He could feel Togami glaring at him and he quickly turned to the computer.

“Fingers crossed.”

“You’re the Ultimate Hope here. Do your job and have some faith.”

“R-right. Yeah.”

  
He typed in the password, took a deep breath, and hit enter.

**  
  
  
Ch. 1 **

_  
Wasn’t I in a classroom? I was – I was at school. I was at Hope’s Peak. So why…?_

  
He could smell the salty tang of the sea, something floral, and then – something piney? Or… Like sandalwood –

“Have you calmed down now? Are you okay?” He blinked blearily. Someone was standing over him. They looked pale, almost glowing, a halo of white wavy hair around a bright, pale face. Mossy colored eyes. Was he dead? Was this an angel?

Hinata Hajime opened his eyes further to harsh sunlight, wincing.

“Am… Am I dead?”

“I sure hope not.”

“So you aren’t an angel. That’s – that’s good.” He sat up, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“That’s quite possibly the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. You thought I was an _angel?_ Do you have a concussion?”

  
Hinata couldn’t help but laugh. He looked up. The not-angel was… Just a guy. Tall, thin, and very pale. Hinata would’ve coined him as albino if not for his eyes. There was a strange stirring in his head, and when he tried to chase the thought, a surge of pain shot through his temples so hard it made his eyes water. He swore, wincing.

“This is going to sound like a weird question, but do I know you from somewhere?”

“I – I’m a student at Hope’s Peak, from the Talent Course. I remember being there – and now… I’m on an… Island?”

“Please don’t freak out again, uh – just - just take a breath.” Hinata nodded, inhaling deeply. “I’m Komaeda Nagito. From what I can tell, everyone on this island is a Talent Course student at Hope’s Peak, like us. You woke up earlier but uh, had a little bit of a meltdown, aheh.” He looked sheepish as he said it, rubbing the back of his neck. “Then you just dropped like a ragdoll, and so I stayed here to keep an eye on you." He cleared his throat, looking somewhat awkward. "Sorry, I don't actually know your -”

“Hinata Hajime." He replied, cutting him off. He found himself desperately trying to place his face, he felt oddly familiar. "Thanks – Komaeda, you said?”

“Yeah. I’ll - well, I'll _try_ to fill you in. So, we all woke up on this beach, there’s a weird talking pink rabbit – I can hear how that sounds, and no, I’m not _completely_ insane, you’ll meet her soon – and everyone split up to explore the island. Apparently, this is a field trip? A field trip that, for some reason, none of us remember going on. But uh, it’s safe! And the weather’s nice. There’s food, cottages, fresh water – no reason to panic.”

Hinata could almost hear the 'yet' at the end of that sentence.

  
But he nodded numbly. He tried not to look directly at Komaeda. He felt _very_ familiar, and trying to remember why was giving him a tremendous headache.

  
“I guess I should go see everything for myself. Get my bearings.”

“Let me help you up.” And he offered out a hand. Hinata took it, hoisting himself up. His back hurt. He felt really exhausted. _Why?_ When did he get here?

“Let’s meet the others, alright? The talking rabbit – don’t give me that look, I said I’m not crazy – wants us to collect these things called ‘Hope Fragments’. Like hope would ever need to be broken into fragments!” And he chuckled.

  
Komaeda walked with Hinata very cordially, and Hinata fought with his headache. He knew that he probably recognized Komaeda from school, that made sense. But he was fighting with another, someone uncomfortable thought.

He was _pretty._ Hinata had never thought of a boy like that, or at least as far as he could remember. It wasn’t that he had an issue with it, but rather that, _generally_ , when he’d found someone pretty, it was after getting to know them. He had never been the type that was immediately drawn to beautiful people, he was far too skeptical for that, but generally noticed others by their personality.

Which begged the question - if he didn’t know Komaeda beyond basic introductions then why did he keep _looking_ at him? Why was he finding some perverse joy in the way he walked, the sharp cleverness of his eyes, or how he talked with his hands? _Was_ it perverse? It wasn’t in a sexual way, it was just…  
  


He shook his head. He didn't understand.

  
“Hinata-kun, you look troubled.” And the way he said his name – it was so damn familiar, it was driving him _crazy._ “Oh, I’m curious – what’s Hinata-kun’s talent?”

He opened his mouth to speak, but his voice died in his throat. Why… Why couldn’t he _remember…?_

“I – I don’t think I can remember. My head is killing me, that’s such a simple question, why can’t I -?”

“Don’t worry! I’m sorry to have made your head hurt. You’ll probably remember it eventually. I’m sure it’s something brimming with hope! Just like everyone else, well – not me as much, but like the others!”

“Huh? Why do you say that? What’s your talent?”

“Oh, it’s barely even a talent.” He scoffed at himself. “I’m _lucky_. That’s it. I’m the Ultimate Lucky Student. I won a raffle and got into Hope’s Peak. Luck is simply the all-powerful force that dominates my life.”

Hinata frowned at him. Komaeda said it with a look of fierce contempt, but it wasn't aimed at him.

“How – how is that a talent?”

“Search me, the school wanted to study how it worked is all. I guess the raffle is really rare, so when someone does win it, it’s not just a golden ticket sort of deal. It’s fate. I can’t control it, though. If something good happens, so must the bad. My parents died in a freak accident from it, I got rich from it, I was almost murdered, I got even richer, I got cancer, I was accepted into Hope’s Peak. Up and down, like the crest of a wave.” He imitated the motion with his hand.

“You – you’re joking right – that’s not funny –”

“You’d be correct, it isn’t funny, and I’m most certainly not joking.” Komaeda said with a serene smile.

His head was in _agony._

“So it’s real – luck, fate, all those things are real.”

“Yes. Which is why I’m pretty pathetic amongst all you Ultimates. It’s not even a talent. It’s just luck. There’s nothing I can do to change it, there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I’ll be cursed until the day I d –”

“That sounds kind of lazy.”

Komaeda halted, turning to face him.

“Excuse me?”

“Well, you were scouted by the school, right? They’re specifically researching your talent, but you’ve thrown your hands up and said, ‘Sorry guys, no can do.’ Instead of trying to connect a rhyme or reason to it.” Hinata said with a shrug before continuing.

“You’re so used to just accepting what life hands you that you don’t try to make use of what is, essentially, a superpower. That just sounds lazy to me. If you say you’re not deserving to be an Ultimate, you’re questioning the reasons you were selected. That’s an insult to every Ultimate in the Talent Course, which is kind of appalling.”

He had no idea why he was being so rude. He felt frustrated, frustrated with his attitude, frustrated with how calm he made him, frustrated that he found a stranger attractive, and most of all frustrated with himself that he couldn’t place his own talent.

“I – well, I guess I’m not surprised you’d look down on a pathetic, worthl – _ouch!_ ” This time Komaeda staggered, clutching his head with his eyes shut. He blinked, looking confused. “Sorry, I was saying that since I’m a disgust – _damn it!_ ” And he almost fell backwards, his eyes streaming in pain. Hinata grabbed him to steady him, but Komaeda was suddenly looking at him with anger, shoving him off. “Who are you?”

“What? I already told you –”

“No, _no_ , you’re – there’s something wrong with you. D-did you do something to me?” Komaeda’s eyes were wide and accusatory. Hinata thought he could see a look of fear behind them.

“What the _hell_ are you implying?”

“I don’t know! You – I –”

He took a breath, closing his eyes, placing his hand over his mouth and shaking his head in shame.

“I’m so sorry. That – I have no idea why I said that. That was nasty of me, I didn’t mean –”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“No, I’m serious –”

“Drop it. Anyone would be shaken up in a situation like this. It’s not your fault.” There was a moment of silence where Hinata felt a peculiar tension. He coughed slightly. “Uh - I... Sorry, you know, for - for everything you went through. I shouldn’t’ve –”

“Don’t be. Water under the bridge. Heh, literally.” And he pointed to an enormous bridge branching off the island, over the sea. The silence fell once again, and Komaeda cleared his throat. “We can keep going. We’re almost to the cottages.”

They walked a little more ways.

“What you said earlier, about being lazy…”

“I was acting really rude, I have no idea what –” Komaeda waved his hand, cutting him off.

“No, no, it’s – I was thinking that no one has said that to me before. Or, I _was_ thinking that, but then I had this weird sensation of déjà vu. Like someone had told me that exact thing, but I can’t remember who.”

“Sounds like they were an asshole.”

“Maybe!" He laughed, shrugging. "But, at the same time, if I’d heard it before…” He trailed off.

“What?”

“I don’t know. Maybe there’s a way to test it, and I forgot. Or maybe I tried testing it and failed. Or maybe I didn’t? With not remembering how I got here, I might be a little confused but…” He looked searchingly at him. “How… How would you test it?”

“Why are you asking _me?_ I don’t even remember my own talent.”

“I honestly don’t know.” Komaeda chuckled awkwardly. “You... Just feel kind of like an ideas guy. The sort of person that comes up with solutions.”

Hinata stared at him, considerate. He felt strangely comforted by his presence, he was weird, but...

_  
Fuck it._

  
“Let me get acquainted with everyone first. I’ll brainstorm while we walk.”

Komaeda nodded, sighing with a smile of relief.

  
Hinata kept track of everyone he met after learning the Komaeda was indeed _not_ crazy, and that there really was a talking rabbit that was spinning around prattling on in a squeaky voice about the importance of love and friendship. And that rabbit, who called herself Usami, gave him an automated student handbook that worked something like a cross between a PDA and a rulebook.

She insisted that she was their teacher, which was ridiculous, and that this so-called field trip was for them to form strong bonds with one another and to earn ‘Hope Fragments’. She explained the rules, that there couldn’t be littering, they had to try to get along, no extreme physical violence, and she wouldn’t be able to intervene with their lives unless someone broke a rule.

“What do you mean by interfering?” Hinata had asked blandly, growing irritated with the magical girl schtick.

“A stern talking to! Maybe even sitting in a corner!”

_  
Is… Does she think this is Kindergarten?_

  
“But we won’t be beaten or anything, right?”

She howled from horror, her plush hands squishing her cheeks.

“Th-that w-would be _h-horrible!_ I would never commit violence against my precious students!”

Hinata nodded. So, a slap on the wrist if he accidentally missed the trash can.

He met a girl named Saionji Hiyoko, the Ultimate Japanese Dancer, who had a bad attitude and a foul mouth. Koizumi Mahiru, the Ultimate Photographer, a girl who had a blunt, determined personality, but overall seemed nice. Owari Akane, a positively terrifying force of nature of a woman, whose athleticism matched her talent as the Ultimate Gymnast.

Togami Byakuya, the Ultimate Affluent Progeny, who was intimidating and forceful, but somewhat inspiring. Nidai Nekomaru, the Ultimate Team Manager, who looked like he could punch a hole through a steel wall and laugh it off. Sonia Nevermind, the Ultimate Princess, who had a calming but commanding presence, and was apparently deeply interested in Japanese culture, which was starkly different from her home country in Europe called ‘Novoselic’. Nanami Chiaki, the Ultimate Gamer, a girl that seemed sweet, albeit constantly falling asleep while standing up.

Tsumiki Mikan, who burst into thankful tears that Hinata had even bothered to greet her, and who was apparently the Ultimate Nurse. Soda Kazuichi, the Ultimate Mechanic, a guy who seemed to love three things: taking things apart, ‘hanging with the boys’ and pretty girls. Hanamura Teruteru, a sleazy but earnest guy that would flirt with anything that had a pulse, who was titled as the Ultimate Chef. Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko, The Ultimate Yakuza, who essentially told him to fuck off within a minute of hostile introductions.

Pekoyama Peko, the Ultimate Swordswoman, who was gentle and very respectful despite her intimidating presence. Mioda Ibuki, a colorful and energetic girl that refused to answer to her surname, and who was known as the Ultimate Musician. Tanaka Gundham, the Ultimate Breeder, who seemed to have a penchant for ‘the dark arts’ but truly loved his pet hamsters – although he called them the “Four Dark Devas of Destruction.”

And then, of course, Komaeda and himself.

They all seemed to be in a similar situation, albeit that they remembered their talents. None of them knew how they’d gotten to the island. A few of them accepted it as just… How things were, now.

Hinata sat on the beach while everyone had decided to make the most out of a bad situation. Eventually, he shrugged, laughed, and decided to join.

  
Things quickly went downhill from there.

  
A monochromatic stuffed bear with a nasty sense of humor that beat and rebranded Usami as “Monomi” who he claimed to be his little sister, ignoring her protests that the assertion was untrue.

The announcement of a killing game.

The motive that the only way to regain their memories and leave the island was to commit murder, get away with it, and graduate.

There would be a class trial for every murder, and either the murderer would be caught and executed, or those who came to the wrong conclusion would all be killed, leaving only the killer alive and free to leave.

Any violation of rules, particularly trying to injure the bear – who called himself Monokuma – would lead to punishment, or more specifically, a quick death.

Hinata was in a nightmare.

  
“You ought to not make a habit of just passing out at bad news, Hinata-kun.”

He was lying on the beach again. He could have sworn he’d had a horrible dream, but it left just as quickly as it had come. He had sand in his mouth. He didn’t even care.

“ _Please_ tell me it was a nightmare.” Komaeda stayed silent for a while, but Hinata thought he saw a concerned look in his eye.

“Uh... Look, do you want me to walk with you back to your cottage? It’s late, and…” He trailed off again. Hinata knew what he was going to say. It was late, and bad things could happen at night.

“Yeah. I was thinking about your talent, anyway. We can talk on the way.”

Komaeda pulled him to his feet again, and he dusted sand off of himself.

“So,” he began, rubbing his head from when he passed out. “What sort of feelings do you get when you get a stretch of good or bad luck?”

“Normally that I should have expected it. In truth, I oddly do. I sort of foresee something bad or good happening before it happens. I was always worried about getting cancer, and then whoops, I got it!”

“Don’t say that sort of thing so nonchalantly, death isn’t a game.”

“I mean, it _sort_ of is. Here at least.”

“Don’t remind me." He grumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets with a scowl at the ground. He took a breath. "Anyway, when you had a bout of good luck, what were you thinking?”

Komaeda looked pensive, his eyebrows knitted.

“I believe that... Usually I was thinking of something I wanted. When my parents died, I remembered wishing that I could just live alone, because my panic attacks stressed them out, and I think they resented me for it. I didn’t… I didn’t mean for what happened to happen.”

Hinata looked at him sympathetically, instinctively reaching out to grab his shoulder, but he let it fall when he rationalized that it might be weird to do.

“Anyway, every time I really wanted something, I usually got it, but it would happen in such an extreme way that it usually hurt other people. It’s why I’m used to being alone. It’s safer that way.”

“That’s actually a _really_ good hint, Komaeda.” And he turned to face him. “Your luck is operating in a zero-sum way. You get something huge, and then something terrible befalls you or the people near you. But what if it’s like a muscle? Your luck is connected to your emotions – if you hate yourself, then obviously bad things will happen, because that’s what you think you deserve. If you think ‘I’m a clumsy asshole that will knock someone over and then someone’s gonna die’ they probably will, because you’re actually controlling _circumstance_ , not just luck.”

Komaeda gawked at him, his brow furrowed closely over his eyes. He looked unsettled.

“This is all just a theory, but we can practice it. If I’m right, then you having such luck could save people’s lives! Imagine that!” And he was suddenly grinning at him a manic sensation of admiration and something else swelled in his chest, but his face turned to one of confusion. Why was he so happy? Why did he keep wanting to cheer this random stranger –

“Hinata-kun...? Are you crying?”

“I – wh -?” He wiped his face furiously. Komaeda appeared growingly uncomfortable. “I wasn’t! I don’t – I have no idea why that happened. I probably got sand in my eye or something.”  
  


But his eyes felt fine, _he_ felt fine. He hadn’t even been sad, so _why…?_

  
“Sorry about that, I swear I’m completely fine. Anyway, that’s my idea. What do you say?”

“I –” Komaeda winced, and his hand smacked his forehead. He groaned. “I – I don’t know. I think maybe you should - I need to be alone, Hinata-ku – _Hinata._ ” He raised his eyebrows, noticing the change in Komaeda’s tone. “Look, I – I don’t want to be rude to you, but – I’m... Not feeling that great. I need to think. I- yeah.”

And, leaving Hinata extremely disoriented, Komaeda swiftly left without saying goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting off slow! The next chapter will be up tomorrow - things start getting spicy and more ramped up in tomorrows update! <3 These chapters are a lot longer, so I might split them up in order to offer more frequent updates. I also have a small idea for some... *Brian David Gilbert voice*: "Audience Participation...?" in later chapters. ;)  
> I do hope you enjoyed, I'm so excited to begin the second half of this journey with you all!
> 
> Please be kind to each other and to yourselves, I'll see you soon! <3 <3 <3


	2. Instinct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two people butt heads over their own inner turmoil. There is a contemplation of what instinct is, and whether its residual nature has any good purpose.
> 
> Harsh words are said. Punches are thrown. We all make mistakes when we are afraid and confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit spicy, and riddled with some inner conflict. I hope you all enjoy!

Komaeda lay on the bed in his cottage, grinding his teeth.   
  


_I’m such a disgusting piece of trash, I was so rude, I’m so worthless –_

_“Please be kinder to yourself, Nagito. I love you.”_

“Shut up!” He barked to no one while throwing himself upright, rubbing his head.

This was all some trap. It was a trap, and he was caught like a rat in a cage. Every single time he tried to insult himself, to put himself in his place, the same thing happened.

_  
“You’re perfect.”  
“I really love you.”  
“I can’t stand when you talk about yourself like that!”_

  
He didn’t have a face to this voice because he didn’t _need_ one. He’d heard it on the beach. He’d walked with him for most of the day. He felt like vomiting. If he had amnesia, like everyone else, why did he remember specific phrases?

He couldn’t remember who said them, when, or where, but he remembered the words, the tone of voice. And they were _sickeningly_ affectionate. But Komaeda had never been loved by anyone in his life, maybe aside of his parents whom he barely remembered. But one phrase in particular bothered him, something that felt like an important memory.

_  
“But maybe you need to be able to control it. Your luck is natural, right? Like a force of nature sort of deal. But the difference between you and a typhoon is that it’s centered around you. So, maybe instead of bemoaning some inevitable chaos, you just have to exercise your talent, like a muscle. Like every other talented student does.”_

  
Like a muscle. His intonation had been identical.

_“I love you, Nagito.”_

“Please, please shut the hell up.” He groaned, grimacing at the sharp stab behind his eyes that followed the words. “Whoever you are, you’re honestly gross. You’re _gross._ ”

Because Komaeda couldn’t say it about himself, otherwise he’d keep hearing rebuttals followed by a shock of pain. And whoever Hinata was, he hated him by extension. He didn’t care if he was nice, or comforting, or patient. He didn’t care that he sort of liked the way he looked. He hated him.

All that mattered was hope. He had to support the hope of his classmates, show how meaningless despair is unless used to pave the way to a shining future. He could do that. He could be that stepping stone. He would be happy to throw his meaningless life away –  
  


_“I don’t want you blaming yourself. I mean it – the minute your brain starts cranking out theories, I want you to hear me shooting them down. I love you.”_

  
He paused. These were memories. Of something, of some _one_. Of Hinata. But Hinata was just some guy he’d met. He was just some guy that didn’t matter. The voice didn’t matter. Whatever sick garbage had been implanted in his brain didn’t matter.

Hope mattered.

He’d help it prosper no matter what.

He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and began to write.

There was going to be a party. Hanamura was going to cook, Togami said he would be running interference to prevent any trouble. Someone had to clean the old office building that had been under maintenance. Komaeda had made a note of everything he needed. The supermarket had the paint, knives were easy to find, duct tape…

So when they drew straws, he hoped that his luck would come through so that he drew the shortest, he needed to get in there, he needed –

_Got it._

“ _Ah,_ that’s unlucky. But easy come easy go, right?”

Hinata was looking at him with suspicion. He ignored him. He was going to do this. He was going to succeed and become the stepping stone he’d always known he needed to be.

He enjoyed cleaning, it felt familiar to him. He’d always kept his living quarters clean, not that he ever had guests, but the feeling of manual labor kept his mind occupied. There was less of an easy time being miserable and lonely when he had a list of tasks to complete. And now, more than ever, he needed to not worry. He set up the murder weapon, he organized the tables and left the cord of the lamp in an accessible location so he could use it to find his target. Everything would run smoothly – everything would be just fine.

  
And then there was a knock on the door.

  
Komaeda stood up, leaving the rag he was using to clean the floors where he was standing. He steered his mind away from his plan, his poker face was immaculate, he had drawn the short straw, there was nothing suspicious about anything he was doing.  
He opened the door. Hinata barged in without asking, walking into the dining hall. Komaeda tailed after him, his tone harsh and irate.  
  


 _  
“Hey!”  
  
_ Hinata turned on his heel, facing Komaeda with his hands in his pockets, his eyes narrowed intensely.

“So, what’s the plan.” Komaeda frowned, cocking an eyebrow. “Out with it, I know how your luck works, so you can’t pull the ‘I’m unlucky’ bullshit on me.”

“Hinata, how would you know how my luck works, even _I_ –”

“Because _I_ set up the straw drawing. That was a test. Normally, there’s one straw that’s shorter than the others. But I kept all of them the same length. The only thing I did was crack one of them, right near the base, so that if it were pulled _exactly_ how it needed to be, it would break off, and therefore be the short straw. If it were an accident, the straw wouldn’t have snapped. I tested it with several straws to make sure. So, you manipulated the circumstances, the straw broke, so that it would do exactly what you needed it to do.”

And he held up a small piece of wood – the piece that had cracked off in the drawing.

Komaeda’s hands were shaking. How had he -?

“I’m guessing you’re planning a murder, right? If you want, you can try and kill me, but you look pretty frail. I’m shorter than you, but I’m a lot stronger than I look.”

There was a definite challenge in his voice, and Komaeda blanched. What – _how...?_

“So? Go on then, fess up.” He waved his hand impatiently.

“I haven’t done anything wrong, Hinata. Look at my face and tell me –”

“Yeah, you’re lying.”

_  
What?!_

  
“You have a tell. Your poker face is pretty good, but your ring and pinky fingers twitch when you’re lying.” He said all of this with almost complete disinterest aside of a slight scrunch in his face, as though discussing the weather.

Komaeda looked at his hands – had he really never noticed –?

“That was a lie, don’t worry. But since you checked your hands, I know you’re _also_ lying. So, I’ll give you another chance, what’s the plan?”

“I – you –”

“You don’t actually care about killing anyone, I’m guessing. I don’t think you care much about escaping here. But your whole deal is considering yourself pathetic and worthless, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re trying to make an actual game out of this.”

He strode into the room and looked around.

“Also, I should give you a heads up. Since I’m factoring your luck into this, I know you won’t want me to find it. So, normally, I shouldn’t be able to find it, right?”

“What do you mean ‘it’?”

“Murder weapon.” He answered blandly. He rocked on his heels, thinking. Then he walked towards one of the tables, lifted up the cloth with no hesitation, and Komaeda heard the tearing of duct tape.

“Is this glowing paint? Were you going to cause a power outage?”

Komaeda felt disoriented. His luck – but – _but his luck –_

“H- _how?_ I need to – how?”

“Are you gonna act like a sane person and not blow me off?”

“I – fine. Okay. But - but put the knife back.”

Hinata, for some reason, agreed. Komaeda felt something strange.

_  
If this is the guy I fell in love with, it’s not all that surprising._

  
“Shut the hell up!” He snapped – and Hinata raised his eyebrows, slightly affronted. “S-sorry, I – I’ve been –”

“Have a seat.” He ordered dryly, patting the floor next to him. Komaeda hesitantly agreed. “You’re freaking out because I figured it out, huh.” His voice was almost gentle, forgiving. Then he placed a hand on his back, and Komaeda felt a surge of pain in his head, but Hinata didn’t remove it, and the pain subsided. He tried to suppress the feeling of how much he _liked_ it.

“So, alright. You caught me.”

“I did.” He said softly. “But I’m not going to say anything.”

“What?”

“Not for the same reasons you wouldn’t, but because I’m almost positive you won’t murder someone. If you get caught, which you would because this plan was _terrible,_ I mean _truly_ awful, then you die. Your death is absolutely meaningless, too. You die because you think you’re trying to pit hope against despair, but instead you’re being a selfish prick who kills someone, and you die with _completely_ self-serving interests that aren’t even grounded in reality.”

Komaeda felt like he was repeatedly being kicked in the stomach, unable to catch his breath. Hinata was still stroking his back, like he was comforting him.

“What – explain. Explain this – you aren’t – no one is supposed to –”

“I think you and I are... Weirdly entangled.” He cut him off, his eyebrows knitted, tapping his fingers together in thought. “I think you recognize me, and it’s really upsetting you. I _definitely_ recognize you, and it’s frustrating me. I feel like I know everything that _doesn’t_ help this situation, and I get this weird sensation like I’m just barely touching a memory that I can’t see.”

He sighed, looking almost forlorn, and Komaeda felt a pang of anger.

“Why do you keep touching me? It’s weird.”

“Then why did you lean into it?”

  
He hadn’t noticed. He yanked himself away.

  
“See, _this_ is what’s so weird to me. You mentioned a feeling of déjà vu while talking to me yesterday. If we’d just met, that doesn’t make sense, right? But I _know_ you like someone supporting your back. I _know_ how to avoid being trapped by your luck – _so_ well that I was able to prove my theory even without you realizing it. Because the fact is, if you wanted to kill someone, your plan would have gone flawlessly. But you don’t.”

Komaeda’s jaw clenched.

“And since I figured you were up to something, but you’re not using your luck as well as you could be, I caught you before you even fully set up your plan. Your luck operates on what you want or expect to happen. I don’t know how I know it with such certainty, but I woke up this morning without a doubt in my mind that I was correct. The straw thing was more to prove to _you_ that I’m right.”

“You got lucky.”

“No, I’m observant. _You_ got lucky. Because I think you wanted me to be right.”

“How could I try to prove you’re right when I didn’t even know how it works myself?”

“Because we’ve done this before. This whole interaction, the tests, the leap of faith. Tell me, if nothing about me is bothering you, why are you so angry? I just caught you trying to set up a murder, I’m not interfering with your plans, and I said I would keep it a secret. Any normal person would be relieved beyond measure.”

“Because you’re a cocky moron. You don’t even have the air of an Ultimate – you – you’re just some _average guy._ And you’re - you're probably the mastermind behind this game.”

“Why, because I call you out on your crap?”

“Because you just met me and you’re acting like – like we’re friends!”

“I don’t think I’ve been that buddy-buddy with you. In fact, I’ve been acting like a jerk on purpose to try and figure you out. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not exactly warm and fuzzy on the outside, but I try to be a decent listener.”

“You called me an angel when you first saw me!”

“Yeah, because you sort of look like one.” Komaeda sputtered, flushing with frustration, his hands balling into fists. “I don’t really understand how we got here, but I woke up with someone all pale and floaty looking with rays of sunshine behind you. I like your face. It’s comforting. The only logical conclusion I can draw is that I know you, and that, if my hunch is right, we were actually pretty close.”  
  


_“Pretty close” you – shut up, shut up, **shut up.**_

  
“I don’t think I could be close with someone like you.” Komaeda said as bitingly as he could. Hinata didn’t even flinch, his glare unwavering. “Actually, the more I talk to you, the more I think I might _really hate you._ ”

“Mm-hm. Right. So you look at me and want to punch me?”

“Yeah! I do!”

“Then do it.”

Again, the challenge. There wasn’t an ounce of fear in him, his gaze steady, his voice clear.

“Go on, I’m giving you a free shot. Hit me. I’m giving you permission, too, so you won’t even get in trouble.”

“I’m not going to punch someone that won’t punch back.”

“Alright, I’ll punch you back. But you get the first shot.”  
  


Komaeda was fuming.

_I hate you, I hate you **so much**. I hate you more than I even hate my own disgusting, **loathsome –**_

_“I really love you, Nagito.”_

  
The surge of pain that followed incensed him to hit Hinata with everything he had, knocking him onto his back where he banged his head on the floor with a pained groan.

“I hate you. I _really_ hate you. I hate your voice, I hate your face, I hate that you act like you _know_ me –”

“Why?” And Hinata sat up, his lip bleeding. He wiped it with his wrist. “Is it because you genuinely hate me, or because you need to hate me to feel better about whatever is happening with you?”

“It’s not your business!”

“Fine, I’ll be upfront.” Hinata replied, not punching him, not doing anything aggressive. “I’m pretty sure that my memories were erased, and that before that point, I was in love with you.”

Komaeda’s mouth felt as though it had been filled with sand.

“I don’t know if it was reciprocated or not, but I know I find you handsome, comforting, and intelligent – things that I _never_ think of as first impressions. Maybe you hated me once I told you. Maybe that’s why you’re so angry. You can blow up at me again, or punch me, and I understand. I’m not going to ruin your plan, because if some past version of myself fell in love with you, there’s no way you’d murder someone.”

“You’re out of your mind.” He said roughly – because he _had_ to be. “Even if your crackpot theory is right, which would be _disgusting,_ there are so many situations where, ‘Oh, he was _such_ a nice person, I had _no idea_ what he was capable of,’ is _exactly_ the image of innocence that a murderer would want to use as a cover. You’re just giving me another way to get away with it.”

“Under normal circumstances, I’d agree. But _I’m_ gambling with _your_ luck. No one else should be able to manipulate or control it, right? Maybe I should rephrase – you, somewhere in your subconscious, wanted me to be able to read through you. There’s no way you’d murder someone because, if you really wanted to, I wouldn’t even be here. You’re right that it’s a crackpot theory, and weirdly, as much as I know some part of me really enjoys your company, I _also_ get the feeling of not being able to stand you. You simultaneously make me comfortable _and_ uncomfortable.”

  
Komaeda glared at him, shaking, and then punched him again, _hard,_ right on the jaw, and Komaeda shook his hand from pain. Hinata still hadn’t hit him back, which made him angrier, which made him want to punch him more, but it was only making him feel _worse_ –

  
“You’re crying. Now why would you be crying?” He flinched, blinking away tears. “I’m guessing you don’t feel sad, at least not consciously, right?”

“Shut up.” He tried to growl, but he collapsed onto the ground, burying his face in his knees, twisting a hand in his hair. “I – I’m so –” He felt the gentle touch on his back again. Safe. Comforting.

“Confused.” Hinata finished for him, calmly.

  
A few moments passed of silence, Komaeda sobbing silently into his knees for reasons he didn’t understand. His identity felt like it was in pieces. The only things he had understood with perfect clarity, his luck, his self-loathing, his ideas about helping hope to prosper – they were all shattered.

He felt himself disassociate, his breathing becoming frenzied, his hands cold and clammy, his neck too hot. He felt his lungs squeeze, and he gasped for air, beginning to hyperventilate. He was panicking – nothing to ground him – nothing to –

“I’ve got you. It’s alright.” And when Hinata embraced him, he clung to him, feeling the sting of humiliation when he buried his face in his shirt. He was being held so tightly that he felt himself begin to settle down. “You’re safe.”

  
A hunch. He was basing all of this on a hunch. He felt slightly woozy at the thought. He could so _easily_ kill Hinata right now, but if it were really a meaningless thing to do – if it really were just a selfish thought...

“Hinata.” He croaked.

“It’s alright. Don’t worry about –”

_“Hinata.”_

  
He pulled away from him, patting his shoulders. His expression was very kind, not smiling, but no disgust, or hatred, or anything that Komaeda needed to see to feel better about hitting him. His lip was swollen, his jaw slightly inflamed and red.

A hunch, huh?

  
“Komae –?”

He kissed him, hearing a small noise of surprise through Hinata’s nose. He pulled him tight, his hands wrapped against the back of his neck, and by instinct, he scratched the nape of his neck affectionately. Komaeda’s heart pounded in his ears, his hands shaking. Hinata didn’t respond for a few seconds, but he felt him, slowly, tentatively, begin to reciprocate. His mind went blissfully blank. He _knew_ this feeling – he –

Hinata’s hands cupped his cheeks, his thumb stroking under his eye.

He _loved_ this feeling.

Komaeda changed his posture, sliding his legs onto the ground, carefully edging Hinata closer to him, closing the distancing between their figures. Without thinking about it too much, because he knew he would begin to panic if he did, he deepened the kiss, and Hinata responded immediately, eagerly, and Komaeda wondered silently if he felt the same relief as he himself did. He gently sucked the cut on his lip that he had caused, feeling him tremble, and he savored him with all-encompassing affection, Hinata’s tongue, his taste, his warmth – Komaeda moaned into his mouth, Hinata moving one hand to caress his back and Komaeda began to pull him onto the floor, to feel his weight beautifully pressed flush against him, thought about the heat pooling into his stomach – he needed this, he loved this, he _loved_ Hinata _so much –_

He then pulled himself away in horror, panting, his heart racing, scrabbling across the floor to give himself distance. Hinata was flushed, his eyes slightly glazed over.

“I’m – I’m sorry – I don’t know why I –” He stuttered out, pulling his jacket down to hide his mortifying erection. “I’m sorry – I’m so sorry –”

“It’s okay.” Hinata replied, still in a daze. Komaeda was still heaving for air, he had thought those words, he had, no intrusive thought had barged into his brain, he had kissed Hinata, there was no mistake – but – but why –

“Why didn’t you push me off?” He barked, and then felt a horrible surge of guilt. Hinata just blinked at him, like he’d never quite seen anything like him before in his life.

_  
I need to hear it – I need to hear it from him. I don’t – I need to hear **him** say it._

  
“Why _didn’t you?_ ”

“I don’t know –”

“ _Yes, you do!_ Don’t pretend!” Why was he being so accusatory? “Why did you kiss me back?!”

Hinata looked suddenly troubled, and Komaeda felt his guilt mounting as he became engulfed with rage.

“Why didn’t you push me away? Answer me!” Hinata was rubbing his forehead, his brow furrowed. “Hinata, you – you f-fucking _tell me_ why you kissed me back! _Now!_ ” His voice was so _cruel,_ he hated it, he _hated_ how angry he was.

“Say it!” He lunged at him, shaking him by the collar, his teeth gritted.

“I – I don’t –”

“Say it!” Hinata was looking away, his teeth gritted, his face scrunched up with reluctance, his hands curled into fists. He squeezed his eyes shut, as if it would make Komaeda go away. “If you’re going to punch me then do it! Now stop lying to me!”

Hinata’s eyes opened, and he looked totally defeated, bordering on miserable. His voice was small but heavy with resignation.

“I think I love you.”

It was the same. It was _his_ voice.

“I don’t know _why_ – I just – I just _do._ I couldn’t have met you yesterday. If I’d met you yesterday, then how could I…?”

  
Komaeda was still gripping his collar. His insides burned with shame.

  
“I don’t understand it.” And he looked at Komaeda with such a tortured, disgusted expression. “I’m sorry. I really am.” He stared at him for a moment, feeling such guilt, such confusion, such pain, hating how he was acting, hating himself, _loving_ Hinata –

  
Komaeda kissed him again, more urgently, pushing Hinata onto the floor but protecting the back of his head with his hand so as not to hurt him anymore. He felt shameless, he felt horrible, confused, but Hinata returned his urgency, clasping his back, caressing him in the spot that made him feel so peaceful. He pressed a knee between Hinata’s legs, heard his breath hitch, his fingers trembling against his the small of his back.

He didn’t push him off. Komaeda pulled away from his lips, kissed the cut on his bottom lip, kissed his bruised jaw, leaving a trail until he reached his throat, pressing his lips against a spot that made Hinata’s breath turn sharp, ending on a very soft whine. He pushed his knee in a little more, waiting to be struck, waiting for Hinata to throw him off, but instead felt his hips move, just slightly, but Komaeda felt it – he felt the warm hardness grinding gently against his leg.

He lost it, kissing him again, tongue exploring his mouth with desperation. And he took Hinata’s leg with shaking hands to move it towards his own groin, until the both of them were shaking, hips rolling, breathing ragged, pleasured moans echoing in the room. Komaeda’s brain seemed to operate on autopilot, like he’d done this a hundred times, shaking off his jacket until he was just in a loose t-shirt, guiding Hinata’s hands to roam underneath.

  
He groaned with relief when he felt calloused fingers cautiously exploring his torso, and he spoke without thinking.

  
“I love you, Hajime. I _love_ you, I _love you,_ I –” His eyes snapped open, hips mid-roll against Hinata’s thigh, and he tried to scramble backwards. But Hinata held fast, his face flushed, but his eyes narrowed.

“ _Oh_ no – _no,_ not this time – I _heard_ that.” Komaeda felt extremely exposed, feeling Hinata’s erection grinding on his knee, as well as his own digging into the other’s thigh, Hinata’s hands firmly gripping his hips. “You said my name. My given name.”

He couldn’t talk, he felt frozen. Out of fight or flight, his body was choosing to go statuesque. Was that all he heard?

“You said you love me.”

_  
Why didn’t he say that first?!_

  
“But that’s alright, I already told you I love you, so it’s actually a relief. But you said my _name._ Now why would you say my name?”

Komaeda felt his eyes go wide with fright.

“I – I don’t know. I – I said it like –”

“Like it was a force of habit.”

Slowly calming down, Komaeda nodded, looking anywhere but at Hinata. “Out of curiosity – if I said, ‘I love you, Nagito.’ What’s your reac– _oh._ Okay.”

Komaeda groaned, hiding his face in his hands. His erection had throbbed at hearing it aloud. Hinata didn’t draw attention to it. He glanced at his expression through his fingers.

He looked… Unsure? No, hesitant. Like he was trying to figure something out. Komaeda took a deep, shaking breath, and lowered himself onto Hinata, resting his head on his shoulder, lips inches away from the crook of his neck. He held him. He was so warm.

  
Neither of them spoke. Hinata hugged him back, Komaeda nuzzling into his neck, feeling so safe, so comfortable – and then he realized he was cuddling him.

  
“I’m sorry. For hitting you. And for yelling.”

“It’s fine.”

  
There was a pause.

  
“I was planning to murder Togami-kun.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s a good leader. It would have made things more complicated.”

“Hm.”

  
Another pause.

  
“You must be disappointed.” Komaeda muttered, very quietly, shame burning his neck.

“Why would I be disappointed? You aren’t going to kill him.”

“Because to learn that you love someone who’d even consider it – that must be pretty disappointing.”

  
Silence.

  
“I actually feel weirdly comforted. Confused, but comforted.”

“How? _Why?_ ”

“Because I don’t feel as alone. I actually know someone here. Maybe I know everyone.” He didn’t continue immediately. “I didn’t know I’d ever fallen in love before. I must have been happy.”

Komaeda hesitated, and nervously kissed his neck. He heard peaceful hum as a response. He kissed him again, right below his ear, then his jawline, the corner of his mouth, and hovered over his lips –

“Hina – uh. Haj – Haji –” Hinata gently closed the distance. Komaeda melted into it. This one felt different, comfortably loving, lazy, tender. He didn’t have to think about how confused he felt, he didn’t have to question anything, he didn’t have to stress, he felt so safe.

When his eyes were closed, he could pretend they were somewhere else, somewhere familiar. He pretended that they were at his house, that Hinata was just at home with him.

He just listened to the sound of Hinata’s breathing, the sound of his happy hums in the back of his throat. He felt Hinata hold his hand, running his thumb across his knuckles, squeezing it affectionately. Komaeda mumbled, only with his eyes closed, “I love you, I really _love you,_ Hajime, _my Hajime_ –”

And when he heard his own name being whispered back, affirmations of love, his chest ached, until the kiss became heated again, their paces of grinding their hips picked back up, his breaths shuddering, not opening his eyes, feeling the intense buildup in his stomach and groin, his fingers wrapped desperately around Hinata’s head, moving his hips back and forth in a rhythm, his heart pounding, feeling Hinata lift and nervously remove his shirt, feeling his mouth part from his own only so it could suck and kiss his chest.

He started trembling, his mind putting them in his bedroom, his pants feeling uncomfortably tight, his breathing turning into ragged moans, Hinata’s hands on his back, Hinata’s hands on his hips, Hinata’s hands undoing his belt buckle so that he could slip a hand inside and when he started stroking him, Komaeda’s voice stuttered out his name, how good he felt, any sense of decorum forgotten because he needed this – he _needed_ the pumping of his shaft, and he needed _Hinata_ to be the one doing it.

“P- _please_ – I _need_ – I’m sorry – I-I’m _so sorry_ – I’m –” And Komaeda fearfully looked at him, only to see an expression of utmost adoration and awe. Komaeda’s heart skipped a beat. “W- _wait._ S-slow down. Slow –”

Hinata listened, slowing his pace, and now Komaeda couldn’t _stop_ looking at him. He kissed him, slowly, gently, pulling away as Hinata kept stroking him, and this was different – this was _so much better_ – he didn’t understand, but in that moment, he didn’t care. He felt himself get closer, and Hinata breathed out that he was gorgeous. Komaeda didn’t know to describe the noises he was making, they were almost whimpers, because Hinata kept praising him, kept being so loving, as though this was a ritual, that he loved him, he loved him, _he loved him¬_

“F-faster, _please -_ I – I’m sorry – I just – I’m – _please._ ”

“You – please don’t apologize. I love you, Nagito, I – I really -.” He sped up, Komaeda was almost sobbing, his body was on fire, his mind spinning, he needed this, he couldn't stop _looking_ at him. “Is this okay? Do you want me to –”

“Please, _please_ don’t stop.” He begged needily, his voice ultimately pathetic with how hot he was, how close, how much he wanted to tear Hinata’s clothes off and take him on the floor. “I’m – this feels _so_ –” His words died with a trembling moan.

Hinata sped up, just slightly, his eyes never leaving Komaeda’s face. 

"Uh. Do - do you want me to do more? If you - if you want -"

Komaeda nodded, lifting himself up to stand on his knees so that Hinata could free his aching member, his eyes level with his groin, and he should have been embarrassed, but his heart pounded eagerly. He flinched when Hinata removed his hand suddenly, terrified, and self-conscious, but Hinata kissed his wrist.

“I – please tell me to stop, at any point, I don’t want you to feel –” His breaths were warm against his dick, and Komaeda slowly reached out a hand, scratching the nape of Hinata’s neck again, who chuckled, blushing. “I – I really like it when you do that.”

He wrapped his lips around his sex and Komaeda hastily grabbed his shirt from the ground and pressed it against his mouth, moaning gutturally. His hips jerked, and Hinata used one hand to hold them still, the other massaging his balls as he took him in deeper, sucking, swirling his tongue around him, bobbing his head, and Komaeda had to muffle himself from screaming. Hinata was enthusiastic, and Komaeda watched him with voyeuristic pleasure, he looked so _good_ like this – like he was really _enjoying_ pleasuring him.  
  


Someone that he met on the beach a day prior.

 _  
No_ , Komaeda had to think. No, more than just the words in his head, they _had_ to know each other. They knew each other’s _habits,_ they knew what felt _good,_ they instinctively just _knew._

Komaeda’s body started to shake uncontrollably. Hinata swallowed around him, and he only managed to choke out that he was about to finish when Hinata gripped his hips and pulled him as far into his mouth and throat as he could, and Komaeda bit into the shirt, muffling the begging repetition of Hinata’s given name, his muscles spasming, his release being swallowed in its entirety until Hinata pulled himself off with a lewd popping sound, wiping his mouth with his wrist. Komaeda’s knees gave from weakness, and Hinata caught him. He dressed him again, Komaeda gasping for air like he’d nearly drowned.

His head fell onto Hinata’s shoulder. He was experiencing a weird slurry of conflicting emotions.

“I f-feel like – _hah_ – that was – k-kind of messed up.” He felt Hinata tense horribly. “Not – not because I didn’t _want_ it – but – I don’t understand.” He panted, pressing their foreheads together. “I barely know you.”  
  


Hinata was quiet for a second, looking embarrassed.

  
“I think," he began slowly, his voice wavering. "We might have to accept that there’s no way we don’t know one another. Love at first sight isn’t a thing, and uh – I don’t think our previous interactions have indicated anything of the sort, anyway. If anything it’s, uh… Muscle memory.” He looked away as he said it. “I don’t normally do this. At all. I thought I was –”

He cut himself off this time, looking too humiliated to continue.

“I mean, it was uh – it was very good.” Komaeda said awkwardly, clearing his throat. “Th-thank you?”

“Oh _God,_ don’t say it like _that!_ ” Hinata groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. “That makes it sound like it was an _exchange_ or something.”

“So this... This _wasn’t_ to keep me from murdering someone?”

“ _No!_ Oh my God! I’m not some sort of predatory – I wasn’t doing it to –” He sputtered, and Komaeda scratched the nape of his neck again. He settled down. “I – how do you know that _works?_ ”

“Instinct.” He answered simply. “I’m still going to do the plan.”

‘Please don’t. Seriously, Nagito,” Komaeda felt a pleasant shiver run up his spine at the sound of his name. “What do you gain from it? What purpose will it serve aside of making people scared and miserable?”

“Despair breeds hope. Hope is the only thing I… The only thing I care about.” Hinata glanced up at him, challenging again. “If we had a relationship, then, well, okay. We _had_ a relationship, right? But right now I plan on making sure everyone can become beacons of hope. You’re included in that. I can’t exclude you just because...”

“Just because what? You love me?”  
  
Komaeda didn’t answer, pulling himself off of Hinata, rubbing the back of his head. “At least say it. At least say it to my face, then. Tell me that you’re going to engage in _all_ of this, that you’re going to engage all of us _in this_ , because you _love me._ ”  
  
“You’re not my motivation for being who I am!” Komaeda snapped back, sharper than he’d intended. “I already hear your voice in my head whenever I insult myself, I don’t need you assuming the role of a - of some makeshift conscience!”

“I’m not trying to be your conscience! I’m trying to help you do the right thing!”

“So, what, you know everything? What do _you_ know about what’s right?”

  
Hinata got up, brushing his clothes off, glaring down at him.

  
“Considering I nearly had sex with you, I see your point.” He said cruelly, and Komaeda felt his stomach twist painfully as he stalked off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might notice this chapter is quite long! I might need to break some chapters up more, for a bit more balance. It's jarring for one chapter to be 7 pages, and for the next to be 12. For reference, each chapter of the first installment was between 4-6 pages, single spaced.  
> Also, if you remember the divergence in Hinata's character I mentioned in part one, there are multiple aspects on that I wanted to consider. Hinata never struck me as a particularly vulnerable person, which is why he comes off as so blunt in chapter 1 of part 1 and in the coming chapters. Over the months he spent making friends, Hinata softened substantially.
> 
> The pair of them both have a lot of learning to do! But you'll find out more about that later. Thank you as always for reading, your comments make my day and motivate me to do my very best! I love you all, and please be kind to yourself and others. See you tomorrow! <3


	3. Hate and Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Komaeda and Hinata seemingly reach a tenuous and dangerous agreement.
> 
> Naegi learns a little bit more about the people he's monitoring.

“Hinata! _Hinata!_ ” He ignored him, stuffing his hands in his pockets, walking briskly away, somewhere, anywhere, it didn’t matter. He felt disgusted with himself. “Hinata – slow down!” 

“Leave me alone.” He shot bitingly. “Go finish cleaning the stupid building. I get it, you don’t give a damn, I’m just some guy. Now leave me alone.” He sped up, shoving open the gates leading out from the cottages, walking away. He knew he’d probably end up going in circles since the bridges were all being guarded by robotic monstrosities, but anywhere was better than sticking around.

“Hinata, please!” He could hear him wheezing. He vaguely remembered that the asshole had cancer. He gritted his teeth and stopped.

“Screw you! Why are you following me? You clearly find me annoying, let’s just pretend nothing happened, how about that? I didn’t see anything, I didn’t hear anything, and we didn’t _do_ anything – how’s that?”

Komaeda was sweating, fanning out his shirt. He really was pathetically frail.

“I – didn’t – mean –” Komaeda gasped, his jacket tied around his waist, supporting himself on his knees.

“Catch your breath then. Hurry it up, I haven’t got all day.” This was a lie, obviously. Hinata was just going to go blow off some steam with literally anyone else.

“I – don’t – want – you – to – think –” Komaeda took a few deep gulps of air, wiping the sweat from his face. “I – I don’t want you think I don’t care!” He finally wheezed out. Hinata almost felt bad for him with how pathetic he looked. Almost. “But if I have a purpose, don’t you think it’s my right to commit to it?”

“Oh yes, your magnificent purpose.” Hinata mocked in a lofty voice. “Aiding murderers, maybe becoming one yourself. Not to mention if you tried to kill someone, you’d have to be extremely underhanded. Not like someone in your state could try to choke someone out.”

“I’m trying to -!”

“You’re trying to help hope _blossom_ or something, right? I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me – I actually found you _attractive._ I thought, ‘Oh, he seems like such a calm, easygoing guy,’ but apparently, whoever I was before I got here was either _completely_ naïve, or a _real_ piece of work! Tell that voice in your head to fuck off for me, would you? Because he’s dead – your attitude killed him. It’s a shame you can’t graduate from that!”

He was being crueler than he thought himself capable of, and his chest twinged with guilt. But Komaeda was staring at him with intensity. “Stop looking at me. Go away.”

“I don’t believe you.”

_What?_

“What do you mean?”

“Hey, Hinata – you’ve never actually hated someone before, have you? Like, complete hatred. You’re the sort of guy that’s either lukewarm to everyone or cares too much. Because I know what hate looks like. _Really_ well. You’re angry, but you don’t hate me.”

“It doesn’t matter. I can hate you in my own lukewarm way or I can be angry at you, the end result is the same. Just buzz off. Leave me alone.”

“You love me.”

  
It wasn’t in a mocking voice, nor was it biting. It was sad. Hinata felt his shoulders sag.

  
“Just leave me alone.”

“I’m really sorry that you love someone like me. I’m not going to change my plans, I’m not going to just blindly do what you say. If it makes you feel any better, I really love you too. I love the hope inside you, I even love that you’re a jerk.” He finally stood up straight. “I’d… I’d still like…” He trailed off, looking ashamed.

He looked so pitiful. Hinata could see how skinny he was under his baggy t-shirt, his hair sticking to his forehead and face from sweat. His jeans were only held onto him by a belt. Hinata tried to ignore that he’d used his own hands to remove it earlier.

“I’m selfish.” He winced, rubbing his head. “Funnily enough, when I say that, when I say I’m selfish – I hear your voice. Every single time I try to warn people that I’m a parasite – _ouch,_ there it is again – I hear you. Did you know that hate and love are considered similar emotions? They’re both intense, and passionate, and can lead to physical entanglements. And I really, _really_ want to hate you. I do. But I can’t. It’s _torture._ ”

“Are you just gonna stand there and monologue at me?”

He was intentionally trying to hurt him now. Komaeda didn’t seem to mind, which made him angrier.

“I want to be with you.”

Hinata spluttered.

“What?!”

“Could you do that? Could you still be with me even if I did things you hate?” He hated how gentle his voice was. It caused a stirring in his chest that he detested.

“Why would I inflict that on myself?

“I don’t know. I’m asking you.”

“No.” He said point-blank, staring into space. “Absolutely not. _Absolutely not_. Hell no. I would never, ever, _ever,_ willingly put myself through something so _ridiculously_ – I mean it’s _such_ a bad idea. It’s _terrible._ I would probably end up strangling you. I can’t date someone who –”

“Er - are you talking to me, or yourself right now? Because you aren’t looking at me.”

“Shut up.” And he waved his hand at Komaeda, who raised his eyebrows as Hinata started pacing. “It’s a really stupid thing to even – obviously, obviously, _obviously_ no. _Obviously._ I said no, I _said –!_ ” He kicked the ground, gripping his hair. “Damn, damn, damn, _damn_...” He groaned.

“…Hinata?”

“I hate you.” He groaned, his face pressed into his hand. “You are such a sorry sack of _garbage_. _Why?!_ ” And he threw his hands into the air. “Why are you like this?!”

“I’m sorry.” Komaeda said quietly. Hinata angrily turned to face him.

“I’m not talking to you!" He snapped with frustration. "I’m talking to myself! I – I don’t want to end up beating the hell out of you if we get into a fight! You’ve already hit me! _Twice!_ ” And he gesticulated around his face for emphasis. “That’s not a great way to kick something off!”

“W-well, I didn’t _just_ hit you. And uh, things… Didn’t really stop there –”

“I know!” He yelled. “I know. And I’m disgusting. I’m…”

“Confused.” Komaeda finished for him softly.

He looked up at him, inhaling deeply to quell his shaking hands.

“Will you kill anybody?”

Komaeda shuffled his feet.

“I can’t promise that I won’t try and help someone who will.”

“That’s just as bad! Possibly _worse!_ Anyone who kills on this island is probably doing it to escape! You don’t even _care_ about that! I’m asking you for something _so small,_ just that you don’t get involved in this game! We’ll find another way off! Just – just _please._ ”

Komaeda chewed on his lip, deep in thought.

“Okay. Okay. Look, I won’t – I won’t personally kill another person. And if someone does ask me for help…” He hesitated, his hands fidgeting with the sleeves of his sweater. “I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you who’s planning a murder. That way, you can try and stop it. I’ll still help them, but you’ll be able to intervene.”

Hinata stared at him, his eyes narrowed.

“Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?”

“Well, it’ll make it _harder,_ sure, but assuming someone asks me – and maybe _no one_ will – it’ll be a battle of wits. I want hope to shine as bright as it can. I want to bring out the best in everyone. I want to prove the despair is powerless against hope. If your version of hope is preventing murders, then I’ll give you a leg up. That way we’re on even footing. However,” and he looked deeply uncomfortable as he spoke.

“The chances of you being killed as a result are much higher. You’d be seen as a threat. I’m okay with being collateral damage but...”  
  


Hinata almost laughed from the irony. Komaeda valued his _life_ more than his own.

  
“Actually I have one more request. I like that idea, but I’d also like you to specifically inform anyone planning a murder that I’ll be trying to stop them. I’ll even leave my cottage door unlocked while you tell them. I want you to encourage them to kill me. How’s that?”

Komaeda looked positively horrified, shaking his head.

“No – no, I don’t want to do that, Hinata. That’s asking for –”

“You want to play this game? You want to be with me? Those are my terms. Either you implicate me so heavily that I’m more likely to die than you, or I won’t be with you at all unless you don’t participate. Which, for the record, all of this is _really unhealthy._ But if you weren’t dead set on being with me, you wouldn’t have followed me all this way. Those are my terms.” He repeated, clasping his hands together to indicate he was finished.

“That’s… That’s really cruel. You want me to gamble with your life?”

“You don’t have to. You can choose not to play. But you refuse to do that. So, if you refuse to budge on what you see as your purpose, I refuse to budge on mine. Actually, I’m _compromising._ All I’m asking is that, if you want to help a killer, and you really see it as that important, you use my life instead of your own. Because, and here’s the _real_ kicker, your luck is working in my favor here. I’m guessing your main thought is that you want me to be happy, and you want to love me, right? But I can only be happy if you’re safe. So the person who will most likely be the most protected as a result is –”

“Me.” He said in a horrified whisper. Hinata nodded, spreading his hands.

“Bingo. Because the voice you hear is right. You aren’t selfish at all. You can’t even do a double-reach-around to loop it back towards yourself. You’re completely determined to keep me happy, even when you think your life is expendable. Your luck works based on what you want or expect to happen. Unless you’re backed into a corner, I highly doubt that would change, and if you were backed into a corner, it wouldn’t be over someone you’re choosing to help.”

“You’d make a pretty amazing villain, Hinata.” Komaeda chuckled sadly. “If you weren’t so nice, I think I would actually be afraid of you.”

“I’m not very nice.” He replied in a gentler voice, now feeling a wash of regret over everything he’d said. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I mean, I’m still angry, but… You’re also not completely wrong, I can’t just force you to change your beliefs. But you also can’t expect me to lie down and take it.” He ended his words on a sharper note. Komaeda chewed his lip again.

“Okay. Okay, I’ll… Okay.” He chuckled, which turned into a wheezing laugh. “Damn it! No wonder.”

“No wonder what?”

“I’ve hated myself my whole life, I didn’t even think I was _capable_ of love, but you… You just took my own talent and turned it against me! No wonder I fell in love with that. No one’s ever even wanted to be around me, before. Let alone stand up to me. Challenge me.” He shook his head. “I accept your terms. Maybe it won’t even matter, I mean I’m just a pathetic slug that –” He winced right as Hinata cut him off.

“Stop talking about yourself that way. No one’s calling you that, and it pisses me off.”

Komaeda grinned.

“A little more aggressive than the voice in my head, but the meaning is the same. I’m leaving my trap set up. It’s very likely that I’ll be caught if I actually do manage to kill someone, but I also promised so – I guess I’ll have to wait until someone else does!”

  
Hinata could not believe he had agreed to something so insane.

  
“So – I guess I’ll go finish cleaning.” Komaeda finally sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Alright.”

“The party is tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

“Please don’t get murdered in the meantime.”

Hinata cocked an eyebrow.

“My life is worth just as much as anyone else’s. I’m hoping _no one_ will die. Assuming you keep your promise, the party is probably just going to be relaxing.”

“Aside of the power outage, probably. But if you have faith in everyone, then maybe things will be okay." He paused, glancing over Hinata curiously. "You’re a trusting person, aren’t you?”

He shrugged.

“I don’t really think about it. I’ve always considered myself very average. Maybe a little bit more observant than most people. I guess it’s like you said, I like thinking of solutions.”

“Do you like riddles?”

Hinata felt himself smile, looking out at the water. When he wasn’t concerned about the fact that they were essentially trapped, it had a calming effect on his nerves. Not many people asked about him. Or maybe they did, and he just didn’t remember. Did he like riddles?

“Yeah, I think so. There’s something meditative about solving problems.”

“You sound like you would make a good therapist. Maybe that’s your talent! The Ultimate Therapist. Oh, or the Ultimate Serenity? Does that ring a bell?”

“No, plus... Being a therapist sounds a little stressful? I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable telling people how to fix themselves.” Komaeda raised his eyebrows. “ _Yes,_ I can see the inherent irony in that. I’m not an idiot.”

“Can I kiss you?” The sudden bluntness of the question made him yelp.

“I – uh. Yeah. Yeah.” And he found himself walking towards Komaeda rather than the other way around. He tilted his head up and Komaeda leaned over just slightly to kiss him. It was different. There was a definite feeling of sweetness, tenderness. They rocked slightly in place.

He didn’t understand. For all intents and purposes, Hinata should have been repulsed by this situation. Komaeda should have freaked him out. He couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t somewhat disturbed, and it niggled in the back of his brain like an itch he couldn’t scratch, but Komaeda was _gentle._ When he wasn’t spiraling into some weird psychobabble about hope and despair, he was even _charming._

But his impressions of him weren’t what was driving him. It was the instinct of the situation. There was some strange piece of him that loved him, _desperately,_ without question. He just had no idea why. He cursed his past self, cursed the swelling in his chest when Komaeda broke the kiss and pecked the space between him eyes, looking at him with such self-indulgent adoration that he almost couldn’t stand it.

And he could feel his own expression, completely outside of his control, staring dopily back. They stayed like this for another moment, where Hinata kept telling himself to look away, to say he had to go, to _do something,_ for _God’s sake,_ to preserve a modicum of dignity.

Komaeda seemed to get a grip on himself, seemingly dealing with the same conundrum.

“Well, I’ll be going then. I’m – I uh - love you.” He looked conflicted as he said it. “Sorry, this is just –”

“Feels sort of like you’re being controlled by instinct?” Komaeda sighed with relief and Hinata laughed breathily, glad that they were experiencing something similar.

“Yes. Yes, that’s the feeling. Not that I don’t _like_ you well enough, but – but to feel love all of a sudden is just… It’s a little overwhelming.”

“Agreed.” They both laughed this time. “And uh, you can call me Hajime. If you want. I feel like you were probably doing that before...”

“...The memory loss stuff. Yeah.” He pointed at himself. “You can just call me Nagito, then. If anyone asks, we can say we knew each other before Hope’s Peak. Maybe… Maybe we should go on a date?”

Hinata’s laugh turned into a cough.

“A d– why? I mean, _sure,_ but – but why?”

“To get to know one another. Aside of instinct.” He mumbled the last words. He was pretty sure their minds had gone to the same place. “So if there are no killings, and everything is actually peaceful, then maybe we’ll start to recall stuff. Like your talent! I’m really excited to find out what it is. I wonder if it compliments luck?”

“Maybe I also have luck. Maybe that’s why I know how it works.”

  
Komaeda laughed, shaking his head.

  
“I would be able to tell. Or, one of us would. But I’m generally really good at getting a sense for other people’s talents. Which is why you’re exciting! I can’t put my finger on it at all! So, I’ll finish up cleaning for today and uh… We’ll go. Somewhere. On the island. Romantically.”

“Right. Gotcha. So, we’ll do that.”

“We’ll do that.” Komaeda repeated after him, looking awkward.

There was a pause.

“Alright. See you later, Hajime.” And he sheepishly stuck out his hand. Hinata looked at it. “It’s… A handshake… Shouldn’t have done that. Got it. That was weird. Bye.”

Komaeda shuffled off, and Hinata could hear him mumbling to himself.

  
Hinata was really not crazy about this whole situation.

Naegi Makoto, meanwhile, was banging his head lightly on his desk from frustration.  
  


The program had been hijacked, and the most that his small team could do was survey the cameras and give potential input to Nanami and Usami – who, and Naegi thought this with a groan – had been completely usurped by Monokuma and turned into “Monomi”. Her personality, which had been programmed to encourage friendship and foster hope for rehabilitation, didn’t exactly have the emotional resilience necessary to fight properly against Monokuma’s antics.  
  


That, and he was dealing with the pressing concern of being forced to monitor Komaeda Nagito and Hinata Hajime, as well as Monomi and Nanami Chiaki.

  
“Naegi-kun, please stop swiss cheesing your desk. There’s nothing we can do right now. All we can do is hope that we’ll be able to intervene at a later date.”

“Kirigiri-san, how much do you know about Hinata-kun? Before the Tragedy?”

She pulled a chair beside him, offering a mug of coffee. He thanked her.

“Hinata Hajime, originally a Reserve Course student, was selected as the ideal applicant for the Izuru Kamukura project due to being deemed ‘extraordinarily average in every respect.’ In the months prior, however, he became closely entangled with class 77-B of Hope’s Peak’s Talent Course. In particular with three students, Nanami Chiaki-san, Komaeda Nagito-kun, and Soda Kazuichi-kun. However, records by the teacher of that class, Yukizome Chisa-san, state that he was emotionally close with the entire class to varying degrees. Several months after their introduction, they were a close group of friends, and Hinata-kun willingly agreed to fulfill his end of the established contract regarding his transformation into ‘the Ultimate Hope.’ Shortly after the project was completed, the human experiment ended as a catastrophic failure, and Kamukura Izuru-san helped orchestrate the Tragedy as we know it.”

Kirigiri took a sip from her mug, and Naegi’s eyes flitted over her face and hands. She spoke coolly and evenly, not betraying much emotion in her voice. Naegi often wondered if, since the two of them were so close, he acted as an emotion translator for her.

  
Right now, for example, he knew she was stalling.

  
“You want information on his dynamic with Komaeda-kun, I’m assuming.” She finally sighed, putting down her mug.

“I’ve already had to cover up my screen _three times_ today, Kirigiri-san. I’m not going to be like Togami-kun and just… _Watch._ ”

“It wouldn’t surprise me if that’s why he assigned these two to you. You know how he gets about…”

“…Basic depictions of humanity? Emotions? The concept of love?”

She chuckled.

“From what I know, they were very close. Obviously, there aren’t many records regarding personal relationships. However, I do have this.” She got up briefly, walking to her desk, looking for something.

On her screens were Owari Akane, Nidai Nekomaru, Hanamura Teruteru, Saionji Kiyoko, and Koizumi Mahiru, being monitored.

Asahina was observing Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko, Pekoyama Peko, Mioda Ibuki and Tsumiki Mikan.

Togami had willingly taken to watching Tanaka Gundham, Sonia Nevermind, Soda Kazuichi, and The Imposter.

The latter of which led to one of the _highlights_ of Naegi’s day, where he experienced sheer enjoyment in overhearing Togami’s ill-tempered grumblings at the, very _accurate,_ portrayal.

  
Kirigiri returned after a minute with a file clasped in her hand.

  
“I found this when we were investigating scenes connected to the Tragedy. It appears to be a memoir written by Hinata-kun himself before he underwent the procedure.”

“Oh! Kirigiri-san, this was a really good find! What does it say?”

“You should read it.” She replied bluntly. “Different sets of eyes find different information. But the long and short of it is that Komaeda-kun and Hinata-kun were a close couple. They seemed to be very happy together. Unfortunately, after the procedure, it’s rumored that Komaeda-kun was used as a servant to the Ultimate Despairs, where his luck was used to aid in their operations. I’m sure there’s a lot of trauma instilled in both of them.”

“They’re making me nervous.” Naegi admitted, running a hand through his hair. “It would be romantic if it weren’t dangerous, but whatever residual emotions are left in them seem to be triggering some stressful responses. They appear to remember each other, even if it’s… Manifesting in more, er…”

“Physical manners?”

Naegi nodded, blushing. “At this point, we can’t interfere much. I would give Nanami-san some instructions to keep the peace between them as much as possible. There’s a fine line between love and obsession, and if the two were to enter conflict…”

“That won’t happen! They… Appeared to have made some sort of agreement. For now, at least.”

“Komaeda-kun had an obsession with hope long before he met Hinata-kun. But Hinata-kun is an interesting case. Read the memoir.”

“Does it get, er... _Explicit,_ in any parts?”

“Read the memoir.” She repeated, going back to her desk.

“Kirigiri-san! _Hey!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are going to be some tidbits of interaction between the survivors of DR1 in order to have a bit of fun getting to know them.   
> Also - it's here that we learn that Hinata's memoir is actually really important, and we get to explore the struggles of the NWP prior to the end of DR2 and DRS3!   
> Since there isn't as much in canon that reflects exactly what went on during the monitoring period, I'm having a bit of fun with it.
> 
> At this point, we're 23 pages deep into part 2. The reason I'm saying this is because I currently have 130 pages written in advance, in order to have a substantial buffer. I generally write a chapter a day, and I was already in the process of starting part 2 when the first chapter of part 1 was posted. If I resume my twice a day schedule, it'll probably be when I'm either close to the end, (which is very far from sight atm) as an occasional bonus, or when the trial chapters happen. I'm going to post the trial chapters one after the other, because I feel that having a large amount of space between them would be very jarring.  
> Anyway, that's enough of my flapdoodle! Thank you for reading, I hope hope you enjoy, and I'll see you all tomorrow! <3


	4. Complex Conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata gets some advice. A few strong memories aren't enough to support an already fragile sense of trust.
> 
> Komaeda makes his first mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making good progress on writing, so I figured I'd so a SURPRISE UPDATE.
> 
> Regular update for tomorrow will still happen at midnight. Enjoy and love you all! <3

Hinata was stressed out. He didn’t remember ever going on a date. He spent some time with Kazuichi earlier to ask him for advice, but Kazuichi seemed to be as clueless as he was.

“Serenade her! I’m pretty sure girls love that. Who is it, anyway?” 

Hinata didn’t really know how to explain the whole thing, so he just said it was a secret.

“Whatever you say man, but it can’t be a secret forever.” He said while tapping his nose. “There aren’t a whole lot of places on the island, but I guess you could… Uh… Go for a walk? Go for a walk and serenade her!”

“I’m not a very good singer.”

“That just adds to the charm!”

Hinata paused, pressing his lips together.

“Soda-kun, have you ever actually gone on a date!”

“It’s Kazuichi! Don’t call me that stuffy crap, man. And, yeah, of course I have. I’m the romance master. You know, basically a sex God.” He retorted gruffly, rubbing his nose.

That was a _hard_ no. The rest of the time was spent with Kazuichi telling him some information about his life, how he got in mechanics, girls he liked… He was an overall pleasant guy.

He decided to ask someone else for advice but found that he didn’t really know who to turn to. He didn't know anyone very well here, and he wasn't very good with introductions or heavy amounts of socializing.

But at least in terms of confiding in someone who would be unfazed...

“Hey, Nanami-san. Would you want to hang out for a bit?”

She was drooping her head while standing, as though having trouble staying awake. She blinked at him a few times.

“...Sure. I’m a little sleepy, though. Sorry if I look like I’m not paying attention.”

They talked about her for a little while, about how she was having trouble sleeping due to some video-game related nightmare. Hinata took a deep breath as she finished talking.

“So, I’m in a really weird situation. I know you don’t know me all that well, but you’re probably the most down-to-earth person here. Could I bounce something off of you?”

She tilted her head.

“Down-to-earth, huh? That’s a nice thing to say.” She walked with him aimlessly, stopping to look at the cows at the ranch from a distance. “I’m not really good with people, but I might know some stuff if it’s ever been in a video game.”

“Have you – have you ever played a game where two people were romantically entangled before losing their memories, but they still retain a connection and end up trying to get to know each other better?”

He said all of this very quickly, feeling his neck prickle with heat. She stared at him for a moment.

“I don’t really play romance games unless romancing a character is beneficial for gameplay. But that’s a weird situation. You didn’t say it was hypothetical, so you have memories of someone here?”

Hinata nodded, his eyes focused on a colony of ants on the ground.

“Do you remember how you got here?”

“Not at all.” He replied somberly. “I just remember them. Or, not specifically them, but I remember certain memories involving them. We were… Very close. We must have been, anyway.” He felt his face get hot and tried to turn his head, so it wasn’t visible.

“Have you ever heard of the concept of ‘muscle memory?’”

“Of course. It’s vital in gaming. It’s why I don’t need to look at my console when I’m playing a lot of the time. It’s common for skilled musicians and writers as well, who often don’t need to watch their hands while they work. Why do you ask?”

“I – I might have retained a certain element of muscle memory with this person. I remember the place on their back that comforts them, or how they react to anxiety, or – other things.”

“You… Know their body?”

He groaned, covering his face with his hand.

“Yeah, look, I know that it’s probably really weird to talk about with someone who’s basically a stranger, but you’ve got… A comforting sort of aura. You just seem nice. And I don’t know the first thing about dating or getting to know someone.”

“You seemed pretty confident while we were talking earlier. It’s not like romance and friendship are all that different.” He looked at her imploringly, feeling his spirits rise. “Well, in a video game, when you romance a character you generally have to raise their affection level. But that level starts with friendship. If you don’t treat someone like a friend, why would they fall in love with you?”

“That’s – that’s actually _really_ helpful advice! Thank you!”

“No problem. Can I ask who it is?” His mouth went dry. He could feel his hands getting unpleasantly clammy. “I won’t tell anyone, I’m just curious.”

He stared at the ground for a while. She didn’t push it, just waited to see if he would agree or not. He felt somewhat embarrassed, and then ashamed of that embarrassment. He would feel pretty crappy if someone were embarrassed of him, but then again, Hinata didn’t consider himself nearly as much of an oddball as Komaeda.

“...Is it Komaeda-kun?” He sputtered, almost falling backwards from shock. Had she read his mind?

“I – how –?” She shrugged, her expression completely unchanged.

“I guessed. If it were one of the girls, you probably wouldn’t be acting embarrassed. I know it isn’t me, and out of the boys, Komaeda-kun just seemed the most likely. Hanamura doesn’t only like girls, but he’s… Not exactly someone I could imagine you being with.”

“But you can imagine Nagito and me?”

“You call him by his first name? Wow.” She said it with no judgement, just fascination. “Komaeda-kun is quirky, but he seems like a pleasant sort of guy. I don’t know you all that well, but you strike me as a little bit more direct and serious. Komaeda-kun  
is more playful… I think. He seems nice.”

Nanami smiled at him in a comforting kind of way.

“He’s… Complex, to say the least.” Hinata finally sighed. “It’s a weird situation, like you said. I can remember all of these thoughts and emotions relating to him, but I still feel like I just met him. I mean, he’s not the worst choice. I think I would have definitely had a harder time if it were Hanamura.” He chuckled. “Or maybe I wouldn’t. He is pretty forward.”

He was smiling now. His chest felt considerably lighter.

“Hey, Nanami-san, do you want to be friends?” She tilted her head.

“Aren’t we all kind of already friends? Aside of a few of us, I think we all get along.”

“Well, I mean proper friends. Not just acquaintances or classmates. I feel a lot saner when I’m talking to you.” She smiled, still looking a little sleepy.

“That’s not a ringing endorsement for the others. But sure. Oh, you have to play games with me though. And sometimes, I think I’d like it if you taught me stuff about nature. I’m not very familiar with having friends.”

“You’re in good company, then. I’m not exactly the best at making friends, either.”

“You’re naturally critical of yourself, huh, Hinata-kun? You’ve already made friends with a lot of people, I think. But so long as you play games with me, I’d like that.”

They parted ways, Hinata feeling reassured. It was just like making friends, a date was just getting to know someone. He went back to his cottage to shower and change.

He realized that he hadn’t really hammered out where they were meeting, or at what time. He knew that he would be seeing Komaeda after he’d finished cleaning for the day, but there hadn’t been a specific time given. Which, he thought morosely, felt almost inconsequential on an island. He wondered what day of the week it was. Monomi would probably know.

After giving himself a final glance, he figured he would check on Komaeda in the old office building and opened the door outside to find none other than the person he was waiting for.

“Ah! That’s lucky, I just finished cleaning myself up. I was covered in dust – you would not believe the state of that building. I think I had spiders in my hair.” He gave a little shudder. “Sorry if you were waiting a while. I was really meticulous about shampooing. You know, because of the _spiders_. ”

Hinata couldn’t help but laugh. He looked nice, not formal, just wearing a button down and jeans, but he seemed to have brushed his hair. Probably, and Hinata laughed again, because of the spiders.

“So, I don’t really know what you wanted to do, but we can walk around. Not like we haven’t inspected the island pretty thoroughly already.”

“I hope you’re not this trusting of everyone who comes to your door past sundown, Hajime. I really don’t want you to die.”

_Ah, there it is._

“I’m not too worried about that. I actually have pretty good reflexes. Unless it were Owari, Pekoyama, Nidai, Kuzuryu, or Togami, I think I’d be able to get away fast enough.”

“That’s five people too many, Hajime.” Hinata shrugged. “Anyway, that’s not what this is about. We’re not here to talk about murder. Who would want to talk about murder!” He said with an airy laugh as though he _genuinely_ wanted to talk about murder.  
“We’re going to talk about us. As people.” He added the last two words very quickly. “So, let’s walk.”

They stepped out through the gates. The conversation didn’t start up until Hinata decided to start with some basic questions.

“So, aside of the plan, did you actually not mind cleaning the old office building?”

“Oh no, I actually really enjoy cleaning. It’s meditative, you know? All you have to concentrate on are the tasks in front of you. There’s something very peaceful in that.”

_Huh. That was actually a normal answer._

“I’ve always thought tidying up was a bit of a pain, but I can appreciate your feelings on it. I would have thought since you’ve got wealth, you’d have other people clean for you.” Komaeda chuckled.

“I don’t really like hiring people to do my dirty work. I will say that I’ve had a chef once or twice. I’m abysmal in the kitchen. I live in a modest apartment complex, and if I caused a fire it would be really bad for anyone in the building with me. Especially since I believed my luck was unpredictable.”

Hinata raised an eyebrow.

“So you finally believe my theory?”

“Well, you proved it. I can’t really say much else other than I’m impressed at your insight.” They walked a little more ways. Hinata was appreciating how pretty the island looked at night. “You’re a very observant person, Hajime.”

“I guess. A little bit more than other people, maybe.”

“And you said you like riddles and solving problems, right?”

He nodded. Komaeda looked pleased with himself about something.

“I had a small idea. Since you so quickly found a pretty good theory regarding my luck, I’d like to help you try and remember you talent. And since you don’t remember anything about it, I thought we could start with things you like to do. Solve riddles, brainteasers, stuff like that.”

“That… Actually sounds like a lot of fun.” He said, feeling slightly caught off guard. Komaeda seemed to notice the surprise in his voice.

“Were you concerned that I was going to give you a hard time?”

“No, I’m more surprised that you came up with something so thoughtful. I don’t think anyone’s really done that for me before. Usually I just do whatever someone else wants to do.”

“You’re a little more passive when it comes to yourself, I’m assuming.”

He shrugged, not quite knowing how to respond. Komaeda looked as though he understood. “How about we sit near the beach? There’s a picnic table we can sit on there, and we don’t have to look at a timer or any of the monobeasts. Just the stars and the ocean. Nice and peaceful.”

Hinata was genuinely surprised at Komaeda. He was acting… Completely normal. Considerate and conversational. They sat on top of the picnic table, and he felt a little insecure. It was beautiful, but that made it a romantic setting, which stressed him out a little.

Komaeda didn’t do anything, though. He just leaned on his elbows, looking peaceful. In the dark, Hinata took a moment to admire him. When he wasn’t spouting nonsense, or acting dangerous, he was… Handsome.

He had an intelligent face, his default expression was very friendly, he had pleasant facial features. There was even a certain charm to his white hair, which was fluffy and curly.

When he talked to him like this, that little part of him felt a rich sense of appreciation.

“I’m very flattered that you’re observing me so closely, Hajime, but you don’t have to worry about my intentions.”

“Huh?”

“I’m sure you were wondering if I’m safe to be around. You did catch me plotting a murder earlier. I would never fault you for being cautious.”

“Oh – no, I was honestly just looking at you.” He answered, frankly. “I didn’t want to embarrass you, so I was just looking at your face a little more closely since it’s harder to tell at night.”

Komaeda blinked. Was he blushing? His hands twisted together slightly.

“Oh.”

“You’re good looking.” He said quickly, maybe a little too bluntly.

“I wasn’t worried about you wanting to kill me, I mean it would have been far easier to kill me when I first met up with you this morning. Kill me, clean the knife, put it back under the table. The main problem would be the blood, but since you were cleaning, you could probably block up the wound with a rag, clean up any splatter, and then hide the body somewhere. Would disposing of a body in the water count as littering?”

Komaeda was looking at him with extreme fascination.

“I – I would assume so. I didn’t think you’d entertain such an elaborate scheme.”

“I’m not entertaining it, just, you know, sort of morbidly speculating. Cases are kind of like riddles.” He mused, twiddling his thumbs. “It’s not that I don’t like mysteries. I just don’t like the idea of people getting hurt. I don’t want anyone to die.”

“You said ‘the body’.”

“Hm?”

“You didn’t say ‘my body’ you said, ‘the body’, as though it was no longer you.”

“Well, yeah. A body is just a body. If I traded bodies with you, I would just be Hajime in Nagito’s body. It’s what’s inside that really determines a person. That’s why I don’t generally notice people’s looks unless I’m attracted to their personality.”

“But you noticed mine.”

“Well, I must have known you pretty well in the past. And… you actually remembered something I’m interested in.” He glanced at him, noticing the look of surprise on Komaeda’s face. “Not many people do.”

Komaeda seemed thoughtful for a while. He watched the waves, occasionally looking up at the stars with a look of contentment. Hinata was wrestling with a vague discomfort of how angelic he looked. He wasn’t used to feeling so exposed.

“Tell me about yourself, Hajime.” He blinked, taken aback. “You don’t talk about yourself much, but I really like what you have to say. You don’t lie or sugarcoat things. I appreciate that.”

“I uh... Sure. Er, well I’m pretty boring?” He shook his head, that wasn’t what Komaeda was asking. “I’m sort of a people-watcher, I suppose. I like to observe the things and people around me. I’m good at remembering details, and I think I’m overall pretty studious. I enjoy being challenged, which is why I like solving problems. I do have a tendency to get emotionally invested in things too much, though. I don’t know if that makes me resilient or not. I like having a routine, like running or reading at certain times of the day, but I don’t know that I’m particularly good at anything. I just listen more than I talk, usually. But I get the sense that, with you, I talk more. You are kind of puzzling, and so I’m interested in that. You aren’t boring. You’re sort of my opposite.”

He cleared his throat, feeling embarrassed from talking about himself, but Komaeda seemed to hang off of every word, like he was taking notes in his head.

“I don’t think you’re boring at all.”

“Thank you.”

“And you’re really thoughtful. You find satisfaction in just being there for other people. What a hopeful quality.” He looked at his hands, folded loosely between his knees. “Thank you for telling me.”

“So, your turn, Nagito.” Komaeda looked nervous, but still gave a small smile and nod. “Tell me some things about you. Hobbies, likes and dislikes.”

Komaeda paused, thinking.

“Er… I mentioned the cleaning. I like to read quite a bit, a little bit of everything, history, classics, but I’m especially fond of murder mysteries. I think the last book I read was…”

But his eyebrows knitted, and he grimaced like his head hurt.

“...I apparently can’t remember it. That’s an odd thing to forget. Anyway, it’s sort of ironic. I always sort of fantasized about being in a murder mystery story and, well, I guess I’m _in_ one now. I don’t like running, loud noises or sweet things. I do like jewelry, or pieces of art. Let’s see… Oh, I’m a Taurus. Not that astrology is real.” He flushed a light pink after he mumbled it. “I think we’re similar in that we both need to be challenged. I don’t like it when everything is easy.”

Hinata pondered this, watching Komaeda tap his fingers together as he thought.

“When you fantasized about being in this scenario, did you think you’d want to be the accomplice, or the detective?”

“...It wouldn’t be very fun if I were the detective. My luck would make things too complicated.”

“Like it would disrupt the crime scene?”

“I really don’t know. I can’t control my luck at all, so I could very easily shoot someone totally innocent, nor could I be sure that I'd guess anything right. But at the same time, I find others easy to manipulate. Emotions make people easy to control.”

“Do you think other people are so predictable?”

Komaeda raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t you?”

“I don’t know. I think the reason I like listening more than talking is because other people surprise me. But then again, I can figure them out relatively quickly. It only takes me a few minutes to get a read on someone. Usually.”

“Usually?”

“I’m still working on you.” He replied honestly. “One minute I think I’ve figured you out, and then the next I wonder if I’ll ever be able to understand you. Right now, I feel like I get you, but I’m sure in the next twenty minutes, you’ll say something that completely throws me off.” He paused, hesitating on a thought. He wasn’t sure if he should say it aloud.

“You can be candid.” Komaeda said kindly. “It’s the only way I’ll get to know you, after all.”

  
Hinata nodded slowly, chewing his lip.

  
“You… I’m confused. About the kind of person I was before all of this. I wonder if that version of me understood you. He probably knew you for at least a few months, so maybe in that time he learned what makes you tick. Or maybe he found a sort of thrill in not being able to ever know you. Like he saw it as a challenge, or a game. But then, if that were the case, I don’t think he could have felt as strongly as he does. I almost have to distinguish him as a different person, because I can’t wrap my head around it.”

“I’m sorry, Hajime.” And Komaeda genuinely looked it. “I wouldn’t wish loving me on anyone.”

Hinata didn’t know what to say to this. That he was sorry? That he loved him anyway? That he didn’t know what to say?

“I’m not...” But he didn’t know how to finish that thought. He stayed silent for a while, staring at the sand. “Do you have the same problem? Like, you have these feelings _wired_ into you, as though you’ve been – _been programmed_ – but you don’t know how to make sense of them?”

“I do,” he answered lightly, looking at his hands. “But I think it’s less of a problem in my case. I think it would be very easy to love someone like you, as much as I’m capable of it. Sure, you’re stubborn and blunt and somewhat prickly at times, but in all honesty, it isn’t as though your anger towards me has been irrational. And… You’re nice.”

Hinata felt a sad ache in his chest, like he was touching a memory he couldn’t remember.

“You seem like a nice person. You’ve only lost your temper to me because of what I was planning. I think most people would have reacted the same way, probably _worse._ But not only did you not react nearly as badly as you could have, you agreed to spend time with me. To try to get to know me. For me, that’s enough of a reason to… You know.” His expression was resigned, melancholy. He wasn’t frowning, nor did he look frustrated.

“I’ve never seriously dated anyone before.” Hinata blurted, surprised at himself. Komaeda glanced up at him.

“That I can remember, anyway. I’m new to… To all of this, so… I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. I mean this is such a terrible situation, I’m stressed, I have to be mistrustful when I really just wanted to go to Hope’s Peak and be a _regular_ student living a _regular_ life. But instead, I’m _here!”_ He gestured around them with frustration.

“I’m stranded on an island! In a hellhole! And on top of that I have to be just – just _constantly_ alert, even around you, because as much as I’m good at reading people, fear makes people _unpredictable_. No, more than fear. It’s not just fear. People want to go home and see their families, they want to be safe and happy, so... So it’s not just fear. It’s love, too.”

Komaeda was looking at him with a sort of confused interest.

“And apparently, _apparently -_ past Hajime _really_ loved you, just - it's so overwhelming, and it's... It’s not _fair,_ because maybe if I remembered _why,_ I wouldn’t have to be so confused about my own self in addition to this whole hellish situation.”

“You don’t have to love me just because you did in the past, Hajime.” Komaeda said gently, his expression kind but firm. “I would be very happy to be your friend, if you didn’t want more.”

Hinata deflated. He had the choice. Komaeda looked back out at the vista, his eyes reflecting the light of the stars, He looked so… Sad.

“What a beautiful island.” He mumbled it with such peace in his voice. Like nothing bothered him.

  
He was so… _Stable._ He was so _insane,_ and yet so completely _stable._ The juxtaposition made his head hurt, and he tried to ignore it.

  
“I’m not going to pressure you. There’s no time limit to you changing your mind. Our agreement is… Probably adding another horrible layer to this. Do you really want to risk your life to be with someone that innately scares you? That’s not normally the sort of thing someone has to consider when they first meet someone. That’s not normally something that consumes you on a first date.”

“Did... Did you still want to try the brainteasers?” Hinata offered awkwardly, trying to change the subject.

Komaeda seemed to see straight through it, though. He placed a hand on his shoulder, and Hinata felt that unconscious but familiar comfort blanket over him.

“It’s _okay_ to not love me, Hajime.”

If it was okay, why did he feel like crying when he said that? _Rationally,_ he was in complete agreement. He wasn’t even sure how much he _liked_ Komaeda, let alone _loved_ him. Or that’s what he wanted to think, anyway. He didn’t like that some piece of him was _grotesquely_ in love, that some part of him he couldn’t remember or control, would have done anything for this strange, pale, skinny man looking out at the stars. Why? Why for _this_ guy?

  
“You can go back to your cottage if you like. I get the sense you… Don’t really want to be here.”

  
His hand dropped from his shoulder, and he turned back to the view. “I’m going to stay here for a little while. Nighttime is the only time where I can appreciate warm weather without getting pretty horribly sunburned, after all.” He chuckled as he said it, but Hinata could, out of all the times he had difficulty reading him, clearly read Komaeda’s expression.

It was contained, carefully put together. But behind the composure, behind the serene, undisturbed smile, his brow twitched slightly, his eyes slightly glazed over, the corners of his lips being held far too perfectly in place.

Behind his immaculately composed visage, was an expression of complex, tumultuous sorrow.

But Hinata didn’t know what to say. His brain screamed at him, searing pain almost blinding, but he didn’t know what to say. So he said nothing. He said nothing, and he left Komaeda without saying goodbye, his body feeling numb from the beach until he reached the bed in his cottage.

It was only then, alone in his room, hearing the sound of the wind and waves and rustling foliage in the distance, that the conflict clashing within himself bubbled to the surface, and sitting on his bed, he pressed his fingers to his eyes, and quietly cried.

  
  


_“It’s okay to not love me, Hajime.”_

Komaeda kept hearing his own words echo around in his head as he cleaned. He couldn’t be upset. He couldn’t be, it would be ridiculous. No one loved him. Who could, he thought with a laugh, scrubbing the walls of the old office building until they gleamed. Who could? He was really just a worthless specimen, in the end –

_“Please be kinder to yourself, Nagito. **My Nagito.”**_

His hands shook from the zapping pain that followed the memory.

“This really is cruel.” He muttered, mopping the entryway. “But I must have done something to deserve it. That’s my luck, after all. That’s… That’s how it works.”

But he knew it wasn’t. Because Hinata had proven it. So instead, he lied to himself, wiping down countertops and washing dishes and dusting and cleaning windows.

He was just unlucky.

It didn’t matter if he was being lazy with that explanation. He _had_ to be unlucky, because otherwise, he was suffering for no good reason. He had far too much hope, far too much faith in everyone, to fall into that kind of despair.

He ignored the zapping protests in his brain – he had _earned_ this pain somehow, and so his luck... His luck was simply was catching up to him.

Hanamura entered the building around midday, looking a little nervous. Komaeda greeted him, asking if he needed help with anything, but Hanamura waved him away. Komaeda hesitated.

“Nidai-kun is coming with my ingredients soon, so I’ll need some space in here.” Hanamura stated with an air of impatient dismissal – something that Komaeda felt was rather out of character for him.

“Hanamura-kun, I hope you aren’t worried about the party. The cooking from the Ultimate Chef – I’m not even someone who partakes in eating much, and I’m very much looking forward to it!”

“I’m never nervous about cooking.” Hanamura said breezily, combing back his hair. “I’ve served far finer palettes after all! But it would be best if the building stayed mostly unoccupied. I’ll be running around a lot.”

Komaeda felt a flutter in his chest. He understood what Hanamura was saying, perhaps more than he was even letting on.

“I understand. But ah, Hanamura-kun, if you need or want anything at all, please tell me, okay? I’ll do anything to help. I mean it.”

Hanamura cocked an eyebrow at him, leaning back against the counter suggestively with a sly grin.

“Komaeda-kun, not that I’m not _very_ interested, but let’s leave that sort of steam for my cottage, _hm?_ ”

  
Komaeda sputtered, waving his hands, but Hanamura just gave him a playful wink and slapped his rear before closing him out of the kitchen. Komaeda ended up leaving with both his bottom, and his dignity, sore.

  
Hanamura was plotting a murder, that much Komaeda felt rather sure of. His nerviness, the way he only made eye contact in order to suggest sexual plans at a later date, how urgently he had ushered him out of the building…

He knew Togami-kun would be entering the building in an hour or so to search the place of any weapons. He was positive the knife wouldn’t be discovered, so long as Hinata kept his end of his promise...

Which then addled Komaeda with another sense of confusion. Hanamura was someone he _suspected,_ but he hadn’t been asked to be an accomplice. This meant that Komaeda didn’t _have_ to reveal anything. He felt a twinge of relief at this. He was procrastinating in having to speak with Hinata; as much as he respected and understood that he didn’t love him, it was still awkward to have to address. The further he could kick that can down the road, the happier he would be.

But he felt confident – he didn’t have to say anything since he wasn’t _really_ involved. He would be keeping his promise. He would be keeping Hinata safe...

But then he paused. Would Hinata really be all that bothered if he died? Last night, he had left without so much as a goodbye. He hadn’t given any air that he really even _liked_ him. If that were the case, Hinata’s life wasn’t in any danger. Because he wouldn’t be sad if something happened to Komaeda. Or he would be sad in the same way he would for anybody. It wouldn’t destroy him. So putting Hinata’s feelings first, did that matter? He didn’t love him.

Komaeda’s heart squeezed miserably.

He just didn’t love him. There was nothing to be done. His head throbbed.

As though his luck were torturing him, he saw Hinata and Nanami in avid conversation. Of course. Nanami was such a lovely person. She was calm, kind, she had the same tendency to listen to others that Hinata so highly valued. She was very pretty, with clever and curious eyes, and a talent that was actually fun to engage with.

_Of course._

Komaeda went back to his cottage to shower, and he sat down on his bed to read afterwards, his towel hanging over his head. He had already set up the timer for the power outage. He had accounted for pretty much everything.

His fingers twitched over the pages of the book he wasn’t even focused on. He put it aside and sat up. 

It wasn't too late.

If Hanamura hadn’t made up his made, it wasn’t too late. He might as well go see him. It’s not like it made a difference. He tuned out the sound of Hinata’s laughter drifting in through his cottage window as he went to open his door.  
  


It’s not like it made any difference at all.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo boy, this chapter is a long'un! This is why I'm attempting to space out some of them. Some of the chapters have bordered on 13 pages, and I figure it's better to split them to have more regular updates rather than just infodumping everything at once and leaving you all on a cliffhanger because I have to catch up.  
> As for my thoughts on these past few chapters - I have never been a person that believed love could be determined purely by instinct or initial attraction, in my personal experience! And if I imagine myself in Hinata's shoes, I too would be immensely overwhelmed.  
> The next chapter will be where things rrrramp up a bit in terms of action! And, as I've stated previously, all "trial segments" will be posted together. So tomorrow will be a double update! I truly hope that my experiments are fun and engaging to read. I want to wholeheartedly thank all of you for your ceaseless kindness and support, and I give you all my love!
> 
> Be kind to each other, and to yourselves! I'll see you tomorrow for DOUBLE UPDATES *air horn noises*


	5. Blackout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A party is crashed. A promise is broken.
> 
> Monokuma has no trouble making light of a heavy situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop woop - here we are! I'm very excited for the next few chapters. As promised, today will be a double update. This chapter is obviously going up now, but later today the next one will follow it up. I don't want there to be a huge gap in this chapter from the next one - it'll interrupt the flow, and that's a huge pet peeve of mine. So, anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think! This is where I start getting very experimental, so hopefully it isn't too weird. See you soon! <3

“T-Togami-kun, please don’t grab me so hard.”

“I’m not grabbing you, I’m frisking you. This is for your own safety as well as everyone else’s.”

  
Hinata tried not to squirm, looking pointedly at the ceiling as Togami patted down every inch of him. He let out a sigh of relief when it was over.

  
“There. You seem not to have anything dangerous in your possession, but I’m alerting everyone that if I find contraband that could endanger anyone at all, there will be consequences.” Hinata swallowed dryly, trying not to think of the knife that he knew was taped under the table. What sort of consequences?

“Th-thanks, Togami-kun.” He muttered awkwardly, making his way into the dining room. The smell was unbelievable, an aroma that he felt was familiar to the few occasions where he had walked outside of an extremely high-end restaurant before being shunted away for looking too poor. He felt he was in good company, at least, as everyone seemed to be staring at the immense variety and pristine quality of each dish. Owari was openly salivating, her eyes huge and sparkling with interest.

The party began, but not before Togami had removed some skewers from some glistening chunks of meat that he had deemed dangerous. He placed them within the box of contraband. Pekoyama was apparently feeling unwell, and so stayed alone in the side office, keeping an eye on the duralumin case that was holding any objects Togami had confiscated, Nanami keeping guard outside to make sure no one entered or left without checking in with her, Kuzuryu had refused to join the party at all, claiming it to be a waste of time. Koizumi took photographs, and Hinata ate until he started sweating from feeling full enough to burst. Ibuki had brought some sparkling cider that they were drinking as they conversed, eating out of greed at a certain point. Hanamura’s cooking was truly befitting of his title as an Ultimate, and everyone reminded him of it.

He stepped outside to refill some of the dishes, and Hinata glanced over at the corner to see Komaeda, completely alone, eating slowly. He considered approaching him, feeling an instinctive desire to apologize, but he was so sick of his instinct telling him what to do that he ignored him. He liked being alone, anyway. Or at least, that’s what Hinata told himself to feel better about it. When everyone was like this, getting along… It felt so friendly.

  
So why did he feel so _uneasy?_

  
As he was striking up a conversation with Togami, he felt a growing sense of foreboding. As if on cue, the lights went out, and they were completely shrouded in darkness.

Several things happened in quick succession. Hinata heard people scream, Kazuichi yelled something about the circuit breaker, Togami shouted something, there was a clatter and a wail of fear, the sound of someone hitting the floor, shuffling, and then –

The lights were on. Hinata was gripping the wall, breathing heavily. The wailing he had heard earlier was still going on, punctuated with small hiccups and cries, and he looked down to see Tsumiki in a ridiculously compromising position. He averted his eyes as Sonia and Koizumi helped her up, still crying as she thanked them and apologized.

Tanaka was grumbling about a lost earring, Nida was yelling that he needed to use the bathroom, there was a gradual sense of relief but…

“Hey, where’s Togami-kun?”

_  
No._

  
“Did sausage-fingers get scared of a little blackout? I’m gonna flick his face – what a big baby!” Saionji sneered, but Hinata started feeling panic. His eyes found Komaeda, who seemed concerned, but no. No, he knew this would happen. He had blindly trusted him to keep his word…

They split apart, looking for Togami – the bathroom door was still locked, Nanami hadn’t seen him go through the entryway, he wasn’t in the office or in the kitchen… Hinata quickly went to regroup with the others, gathered in the dining hall, where Owari seemed to be distracted from her usual ravenous eating.

“D’you guys smell that?” Hinata’s heart raced madly in his chest. “It smells sort of rusty… Like… Blood?” She glanced over to…

 _  
No._ No, no, _no,_ the table in the back, the table where he’d found the knife, that table, that one _damn table_ – _please, no._

  
Hinata walked numbly over to it, pulling up the tablecloth.

Togami Byakuya was lying there. Why was there blood under him? Why was there…

The knife. The knife with glowing paint was on the floor.

He could hear everyone screaming, exclaiming one thing over the other, and he just kneeled there, fear and fury pounding through him, hands shaking and clammy, slowly backing away and shaking his head.

  
“My, _my._ Things certainly took a turn for the worse, didn’t they?” That annoying, shrill voice…

“Our very first murder on the peaceful paradise, Jabberwock island! And you know what _that_ means!”

Hinata turned to face Monokuma, who seemed to be rocking from side to side cheerfully.

“N-no, come on, that _can’t_ be –”

 _Komaeda._ Hinata glanced at him, wearing an expression of horror, which made his innards writhe with such rage that he honestly thought, for just a moment, he could kill him. He was a good actor.  
  
Of _course_ he was such a good actor. Hinata could _tell._ Yet he had just blindly _trusted_ him.

“Aww, look at _poor_ Togami-kun. His expression is _so_ devastated, full of regret all thanks to being killed by someone with such _selfish_ desires.”

He pretended to pout as his tone was so cruel, so _mocking_ –

“He must’ve been killed by someone who _really_ wanted to leave this island! Such a shame, really. All I promised was to give your memories back and let you go home, and the murderer couldn’t even wait a _week!_ ”  
  
He let out a squealing, maniacal laugh, clutching his stomach. He sighed happily, wiping a non-existent tear of mirth from one of his eyes, and looked around as Pekoyama and Nanami looked at Togami’s corpse in horror.

“Well, I see that Kuzuryu-kun isn’t hear yet, so to keep things easy, breezy, and balanced –!” He waved his arm and there were four chimes of a bell from the intercom around the island, followed by a body discovery announcement. “There! Now everyone is all caught up.”

_All… Caught up?_

“You guys get the most precious gift of all – time! Well, not _unlimited time._ ” He jeered, giggling. “But you get a good old chunk of it to collect some evidence and figure out who the killer is! Which again...” Monokuma was almost writhing with glee. “Is _one of you._ So, lemme give you a rundown!”

Monomi had appeared, tailing after each waddling step Monokuma made as he addressed everyone.

“I’ve updated your handbooks with a pretty handy-dandy feature! It’s the very first, ultra-exciting, Monokuma file! In it, there are details regarding the time and cause of death, where the body was found, anything useful about the body!” He was ignoring Monomi’s whines as she tried to stop him. “Of course, I won’t tell you anything that’ll give you, y’know, _spoilers._ ”

“Spoilers?” Hinata asked, his voice dry in his throat.

“Nothing that can concretely tell you who the killer is! Just enough details to… Whet your appetite!” He laughed uproariously as he gestured to the table, still covered in food that now seemed deeply unappetizing. “Each piece of evidence you collect can be referred to as a ‘truth bullet’, because the Class Trial is going to be super fun! I mean super, _duper_ fun! You’ll see why the bullet thing is so relevant! Anyway, that’s enough out of your beloved and adorable headmaster. Get crackin’! And have _fun!_ ” He said the last word in a stretched-out sing-song sort of voice, before disappearing, Monomi chasing after him with squeaky insults.

Hinata found himself staring into space. This was a nightmare. This was a bad dream, and he just had to _wake up –_

“Don’t worry, everyone. I’m going to investigate this case. I’m going to _prove_ that none of us killed Togami-kun!”

Komaeda. He thought with gritted teeth. _You damn slimy – you bastard – I’m going to –_

He had to shut off his emotions. He had to… He had to focus. If this was how he was going to play it, he was going to yank the rug out from under him. Logic. Right now, he needed to be grounded only in cold, hard logic.

  
It was time to investigate.

  
He investigated alone, although he noticed Komaeda keeping tabs on him, taking everyone’s accounts. Tsumiki gave an autopsy, Koizumi had taken photographs of everyone at the party and promised to draw the layout of the building, Ibuki managed to tell him whose voices were whose during the blackout...

And every time he made a mental note, he typed it into his handbook. Creating truth bullets, whatever they were.

There was a fire door that could open and close… There was a sheet soaked in blood as well as irons in the storage room, turned on – Hinata assumed this was how Komaeda had tripped the breaker... The killing wounds seemed to be a smaller diameter to the knife, which was odd...

He paced around the building, taking notes of everything he could find. Komaeda tailed behind him at times, trying to give him helpful hints, but he tried to pretend he wasn’t there. The only useful thing he offered was when they entered Togami’s cottage to find a threatening letter... But... Who would have written it aside of Komaeda? Who else?

There was a way to get beneath the floorboards, which he only found thanks to Tanaka looking for the earring that had slipped between them...

He had the pieces to the puzzle, he thought to himself, almost mumbling. Komaeda made the most sense but… But the knife would have been the clear murder weapon… Not something smaller, not…

He thought he saw Komaeda whisper something to Hanamura. That raised his heckles. He did a once over, double-checking everyone’s accounts, reviewing anything that even looked like evidence, until –

There were four resounding chimes. His heart dropped as he looked at the monitor in the corner of the room.

“Eh, so… I’m getting tired of waiting. Let’s kick things off with a bang, shall we? Everyone head to Monokuma Rock on the central island! See you _soon!_ ” Hinata could hear the giggle at the end of his voice before the transmission ended.

He laid out what he knew in his mind as he walked, his eyes focused on his handbook. Something wasn’t adding up. There was blood on the knife so… Wouldn’t that have been what killed Togami? But Tsumiki’s testimony conflicted with that… Something thin… Thin enough to slip through the floorboards? Long enough to reach? Why would Togami have gone under the table?

Furthermore, he was trying to pinpoint how Komaeda would have been able to see him in the dark. Assuming he used the knife then...?

Was Komaeda the only person who knew about the knife? There were night-vision goggles in the extra duralumin case Togami had brought… Could he have foreseen such an event? Hinata had trusted that everything would be fine so long as Komaeda behaved...

He shook his head. This wasn’t the time to be going in circles. He looked up at the huge rocks that had been carved into the shape of Monokuma’s head. Where were they even meant to _go_ –?

But once everyone had arrived, one of the rocks rumbled with a roaring quake, and out from its mouth spilled a long escalator that almost defied reason.

_As though there’s any rhyme or reason to this place..._

They ascended the escalator, the fifteen of them, rising up into the jaws of the rocks that led into a steel elevator. The teeth shut behind them with a menacing crunch, there was a click, and the elevator descended with a rattle, occasionally grinding against the sandstone that entombed them.

His classmates were talking. He could occasionally hear Komaeda voice, elevated above the others, but he tried to shut it out. He couldn’t get angry. He couldn’t give in to his emotion. Right now...

The elevator doors groaned open.

  
Right now, he had to find the truth.

  
And if Komaeda happened to be the killer... Well... His past self really knew how to pick them, then.  
  


“The _fuck_ is this _shit?!_ ” Kuzuryu spat with disgust.

“Uh welcome all, _welcome_. I hope you appreciate the _majesty_ of this courtroom! I do try and keep things exciting around here, if it wasn’t already obvious from my keen eye for decorating.”

“It’s repulsive.” Hinata said dryly, grimacing at the bright, gaudy colors, the checkered flooring that clashed terribly with each and every incongruent texture and pattern that adorned the walls.

“Different strokes for different folks, huh, _Hinata-kun._ ” He sneered suggestively, and Hinata felt an unpleasant twist in his gut. There were cameras everywhere… Was he suggesting…?

“Aaanyway, I can’t wait, I absolutely can’t wait! Everyone, please stand behind the podium with your name on it. You’ll notice some fun little gadgets I’ve so graciously provided!”

“Why is Monomi… Tied up?” He heard Nanami ask, looking slightly disturbed at the rabbit dangling from the ceiling.

“Because she was being _so annoying._ ” His voice, normally shrill and nasty, became almost a snarl. “I hit her _so_ many times, but she would just _not_ shut up! So, I tied her up to think about how to act like a good little sister, upupupu!” Hinata went to his podium, struck with a sudden feeling of alarm as he picked up what appeared to be –

“Revolvers?” He muttered. It felt very solid and looked extremely realistic. He spun the barrel out of curiosity, hearing it whirl before it locked into place. It also felt uncomfortably… Familiar.

“Yup! Ooh, I _told_ you I meant something fun when I called your little facts ‘truth bullets’! Don’t worry, I can see all of your faces going slack – they’re not _really_ dangerous. They’re part of the game!” He straightened himself up on the throne that was made for a much larger person – though he wasn’t one – and rubbed his paws together.

“Each of you have a revolver, and each of you have a screen in front of you. Whatever facts you collected are – surprise! – _Actual ammunition!_ The bullets get loaded up by using your student handbooks!” Hinata decided to try it, selecting six of his observations and tapping a button that said ‘load’ next to it. The revolver’s cylinder lit up briefly, and he kept the barrel pointed at the ground as he observed that, as Monokuma had stated, each bullet was occupying a chamber.

“During your debate, everything you say is going to be transcribed on the screen in front of you! If you have a bullet that debunks someone’s statement – BANG! You shoot it down! Cool, right?!” No one answered.

“Sheesh, you’re all making me so depressed. It’s like someone _died_ in here!” He then laughed hysterically. “ _Whew_ – anyway, it’ll only be beneficial if you hit a statement that you’re actually disproving, okay? Otherwise, you’ll just end up cracking their screen for no good reason! And that sorta thing makes it likely that you’re a gun-crazy maniac that just wants to kill someone!”

“W- _wait_ – I thought you said they aren’t really dangerous!” Hinata exclaimed, almost dropping the revolver. “What do you mean ‘kill someone’?!”

“ _Wweeeellll,_ it’s not like it could _really_ kill someone. But words can still hurt, you know?” He snickered. “Each time you break down an argument, you’re essentially weakening your target! The glass is really sturdy, though – it’ll only shatter when someone is being targeted lots and lots of times. And, even when it breaks,”

He sounded morose as he continued.

“It won’t _kill_ anyone. They’re not real bullets after all. They’re just programmed to operate a certain way within the courtroom. Think of it like paintball! It might sting if someone got shot, but I was referring more to the _intent_ to kill. After all,” His smile turned nastily shrewd. “You _are_ pulling the trigger on someone, and willingly firing a bullet.”

Monokuma giggled perversely, releasing a dreamy sigh at the end of it.  
  


“Now, everyone take a sec and get acquainted with man’s _real_ best friend – your guns!”

  
Hinata tried to tune out Monokuma’s insane laughter, feeling the weight of the revolver in his hand, trying to practice him aim without actually aiming at anybody. He felt Nanami’s gentle tap on his shoulder.

“Hinata-kun, I’m actually really, really good at shooters.” He blinked. “Here, hold up your arm.”

He obeyed awkwardly as she adjusted his elbow and wrist. “I don’t know if these have recoil, but knowing Monokuma…” He nodded. “So you’re going to want to keep your arm relaxed enough to fire, reload, and resume your position. Have you ever fired anything before?”

“N-no. I’m not exactly familiar with this sort of thing.”

“Right. I’ve never fired a real one, either. But some games I’ve played specifically have the fake gun give the player feedback when they shoot to imitate recoil. If your hands or arms are too stiff, the recoil might end up screwing up your aim and make you shoot something you don’t want to.”

He nodded again, feeling increasingly trepidatious at the weight of the weapon in his hand.

“It’s not real, Hinata-kun. Just… Try to think of it as a game.”

“I don’t really want to buy into Monokuma’s logic, Nanami-san.”

“I’m not saying you should. I’m saying you might have to put aside feelings of guilt for pointing a gun that seems real, because right now… It’s really important that we don’t screw up.” As she said it, Hinata could hear the anxiety in her own voice, and he steeled his nerves.

“It’s like a game.” He repeated, looking at her with a serious nod. “We’re just playing a shooter together.”

She smiled, reassuring.

“That's right. I’ll even help you aim if necessary. You probably know more about the case than I do, so we can be teammates… Maybe, if you want.”

“That’s… Actually sort of a comforting idea. Two heads are better than one, right?”

She nodded eagerly. Everyone seemed to be treating their guns with caution.

  
Except _him._

  
Except _Komaeda,_ who held the revolver as though he had been reunited with a close friend. It looked comfortable in his hand. Hinata felt his shoulders tense but forced them to relax. He needed to be able to move quickly.

Monokuma’s voice rang out once more, shrill and cutting, and Hinata flinched from reflex.

“Now then, let's begin with a simple explanation of the Class Trial! During the Class Trial, you will present your arguments for who the killer is - and vote for whodunnit! If you vote correctly, only the Blackened will receive punishment! But if you pick the _wrong person_... I'll punish everyone _besides_ the Blackened, and that person will earn the right to leave this island! Now, let’s get started!”

There was a general murmur, everyone feeling a little confused on where to begin.

“That bastard was killed in the dining hall, right?” Kuzuryu said brusquely. “I only heard about it from the announcement. If that’s the case, everyone at that party is a fucking suspect.”

“What are you trying to say?!” Koizumi lashed back, but –

“Let’s start with the most pressing issue.” And Hinata felt his blood boil at the sound of Komaeda’s voice. “Where we found the body. It’s weird that it was underneath a table, right? Why is that?”

And, incited by his question, one by one, the screens in front of them lit up. His fingers tightened around the grip of his gun.

  
The debate had begun.

  
Hinata clicked the cylinder of his revolver, listening. Why the body was underneath the table… His body couldn’t have been moved, so…

“They must have moved it there, right?” He heard Kazuichi’s voice, and suddenly his body acted as though he’d fired a gun before hundreds of times, snapping into position, cocking the hammer of the revolver, and firing a bullet.

The statement shattered, and Kazuichi’s glass had a minute crack. Kazuichi flinched, checking his face instinctively.

“No, that’s wrong.” Hinata rebutted clearly. “There was splatter of blood all around the tablecloth that was covering him – I don’t think anyone could have moved him, either. Togami wouldn’t have been easy to lift or drag – his blood would have spread across the floor and would have made a general mess. I think it’s more likely he was killed under the table to begin with.” Kazuichi cursed, muttering that he thought he’d had a good idea.

“Now why would Togami-kun have gone under the table in the first place?” Komaeda mused, and Hinata felt a flash of anger. His words blared a vivid orange on his screen.

He took aim and fired – the statement shattered.

“I can prove why – the knife under the table. He must have seen it with the night vision goggles we found.”

  
Komaeda’s gaze lowered, like he was sizing him up, wondering how much he would reveal. Hinata didn’t feel the need to worry. He already knew that Komaeda had _been_ there, he just needed to prove whether or not _he_ had murdered Togami.

  
“That’s ridiculous – Togami-kun wouldn’t have used those goggles! The killer must have used them to find him in the first place!” Koizumi shot a bullet, and his screen cracked. She began to explain her theory – but no, no there was concrete evidence against that… She aimed again, and Nanami suddenly aimed hers as well – the bullets collided.

“You’re going to have to overpower an opponent sometimes, Hinata-kun.” She whispered, and he nodded, steeling himself once more.

  
He listened to Koizumi continue, waiting, waiting for her to slip up somewhere…

  
“They must have brought the goggles to the crime scene –”

 _  
There._ He fired without hesitation, shattering her words on the screen. She blinked, startled.

  
“The duralumin case Togami had on him held a case specifically for those goggles. The case was empty, and the goggles were beside his body – there’s no question that he was the one who brought them.”

The subject changed to the knife – whether it was in the case with the goggles – Hinata felt his stomach churn.

He wondered if Komaeda could tell how disgusted he was, that he’d ignored it, that he’d turned a blind eye to his plan over a naïve _promise_ – he took a deep breath.

The duct tape, the glowing paint, the fact that Togami knew that something was going to happen…

 _The letter._ His fingers flexed over the handle of his revolver.

He explained his reasoning, that the knife was hidden ahead of time, why Togami had been so paranoid, why the killer could have seen the knife since the handle and the duct tape were painted…

There came a point when bullets were flying – Hinata noticed that when two bullets hit, they ricocheted, but it seemed to make them disappear. So they were harmless, overall… Or, at least not deadly.

“Pekoyama is the only option, then, right?” Kazuichi grumbled, waving his revolver around way too carelessly. “She was the only person who could have tripped the breaker to cause the blackout, she’s fast enough that she could have darted in and out of the room without us noticing – isn’t that the only way?”

Hinata listened again. He closed off his feelings, closed his eyes – just thought, just pure reasoning…

“I did not cause the blackout – in all honesty I was not in the office, even before the blackout.”

That was true, his eyes shot open. How could he -?

He instinctively loaded up the assenting bullet. Hopefully –

Her statement flashed from orange to blue. He shot it, and instead of cracking her screen... Did it... _Repair it,_ slightly?

“She’s telling the truth.” He quickly shot out, his voice silencing the others. “Nekomaru’s account lines up. Pekoyama-san wasn’t feeling well, right? And Nekomaru said that the bathroom door was locked up from the start of the party until after the investigation started. If she weren’t feeling well, she could have had to stay in the restroom for a while.”

“So, what, could she have been slipped some laxatives so that the killer could access the fucking breaker –”

Hinata twirled the cylinder of his gun, locked on to Kuzuryu’s statement, and fired with a resounding shatter.

“The rest of us had that food too. We’d all have had stomach problems if that were the case. Normally a coincidence would be a lousy excuse, but none of us had any problems, so that can’t be an accurate assertion.” Hinata rebutted smoothly, lowering the revolver. “And we confirmed ourselves that none of us could have reached the breaker – Monokuma is the one that restored power. So it’s likely the blackout was triggered by something else.”

“Like… A power surge?” His eyes flashed at Koizumi’s words, but he had to reload – Nanami raised her revolver and nodded at him, glancing at the bullet she needed. The words flashed blue on her screen, and Nanami fired.

There was no doubt – he saw the cracks on Koizumi’s screen diminish. Nanami gave Hinata a jerk with her head to push him to speak.

“I think that’s exactly right.” He said clearly, feeling his confidence rise. “We found irons in the storage room that had been on during the blackout. If my theory is correct, the reason the power outage happened when it did – and we can confirm this with Togami’s time of death – is that the air conditioner switched on at 11:30 while the irons were still going. It must have overloaded the breaker and caused the outage –”

“Which is to say, _any_ of us could have done that, right?” And he heard a crack on the glass protecting him. His eyes met Komaeda’s, watching him hold his revolver steady.

“I mean,” Komaeda shot again, the glass in front of him cracked more.

“There’s no _one person_ that could have gone in and done –” another shot, another crack.

“ _All_ of that. Which makes me wonder,”

He spun the gun on his finger like he’d done it many times before, tossing it in the air and clasping perfectly. He fired once more, making Hinata flinch.

“Is it really better to waste our time searching for a petty killer that might not even exist among us, or die with the hope of all of us believing in one another?”

  
He was _insane._ He was _completely_ insane.

  
“You mean… Basically commit suicide?” Ibuki choked out, almost foaming at the mouth from shock.

“There’s something wrong with you.” The room went quiet at the intensity of Hinata’s voice. “There is _seriously_ something wrong with you. What the _hell_ are you playing at, Komaeda?”

“You only need there to be something wrong with _me_ because there’s something wrong with _you._ ”

And Komaeda’s tone was so _friendly,_ so unassuming, as though he were the only sane person in the room.

“Suspecting each other like this, isn’t that really unhealthy? Why bother! We can just stop this, we _don’t_ have to try and find out who the killer is, if there even _is_ one!”

Hinata recognized the face he began to make – he was acting. He was pretending to be –

“We’re all friends, aren’t we. I can’t stand this.” He made his voice weak and vulnerable. “I can’t stand the idea of accusing my friends, like I could ever think – like I could for a _second_ believe that one of us would actually… Actually _kill..._ ”

Hinata was working furiously to keep his head cool, to stay under control, he just had to separate his feelings, he just… It was no good. It was no good, it was just _no damn good._ He was _lying,_ he was lying so _blatantly_ –!

But his words were sending the others into a state of panic. Tsumiki, Saionji, Koizumi, Kazuichi… He glanced at Nanami, who met his eyes determinedly. There was a fire in her that forced him to take a breath.

“Who cares anymore... Let’s just – let’s just give _up_ already, together, as friends, _please_. It’s not like we have any clues that point us to the killer, anyway. Not a single one –”

_  
BANG._

  
Komaeda jerked up, glancing around. Nanami had her revolver aimed perfectly, her eyes staring down the sight with incredible power.

“That’s wrong!” She cut clearly, before mumbling. “...I think.”

Komaeda’s eyes twitched. Was he… Annoyed?

“Did you say something?” He jeered with the utmost condescension, as though he hadn’t noticed the small chink growing in the glass in front of him.

“Because… There’s a clue. I dunno who the killer is but… There is someone _suspicious_ at least.”

Tanaka leaned forward, Kuzuryu narrowed his eyes, Sonia stood a little straighter. Nanami shuffled, feeling the stares of everyone looking at her intensely.

“...The knife. It had to have been there before all of us got checked, right? So, someone had to have planted it there before the party. We know that the killer put glowing paint on it, I think. But how did the killer get to the table so easily? It was, um, really dark after all.”

There was no doubt – Komaeda’s eyes narrowed. Hinata thought hard.

“Wait – I drew a diagram!” Koizumi exclaimed, fumbling with her bag. “Where everyone was standing! We can see who was closest to the back table!”

She passed it around, Komaeda handed it past him without so much as looking at it.

  
Of course. _Of course_ he was right there, Hinata had _seen_ him in the corner by himself. Right by the table...

  
“So, let’s say the person who was closest to the table is the likely culprit.” He said, his voice clenched in his burning throat so as not to waver in anger. “They could have used the lamp on the table to guide them there, couldn’t they?” He glanced up at Komaeda. “Using the cord as a sort of guide, they could feel their way from the wall to the table. Don’t you agree, _Komaeda?_ ”

“So, I’m Komaeda again, huh?” He said barely above a breath. “I don’t know. It’s not like the lamp could turn on, so how could I have seen some cord? I wasn’t that close to the wall.”

Hinata held up the diagram.

“You were the _only_ person close enough to pull off that kind of trick. And since we established that there was glowing paint, you only needed to get close enough to the table to lift up the table cloth. So, let me say this again, just so I’m clear.” Blood pounded in his ears. “The only possible person – the only one who could have tried to reach under the table – it’s you, Komaeda.”

“That’s – that’s ridiculous! M-me? I wouldn’t have – It’s just a coincidence!”

“But you had a chance, right? A chance to hide the knife under the table while you were cleaning. Being closest to the power cord…” Nanami mused, tapping her chin. “That’s a lot of coincidences.”

“But I just got unlucky – I just picked the short straw –”

Hinata couldn’t stay quiet here. He fired a bullet at Komaeda’s screen, just to shut him up for a moment.

“Actually, if I can interject.” He said dryly. “I set up the drawing the other day because I wanted to test Komaeda’s luck. To give the long and short of it, I had a theory that his luck is unconsciously manipulated by what he wants or expects to happen. I kept all of the straws the same length, but one had a cracked base. It could only break if pulled in a very specific way.”

“W-why would you go through all that trouble?” Sonia pressed, looking unnerved.

“Well, the worst-case scenario was that all the straws would be the same length, and I could say I made a mistake. But Komaeda actually proved me right – he likes cleaning, so he ended up pulling the straw out perfectly. I found the bottom piece of it on the ground after we did the drawing. So, not only did he prove my theory right about how his luck operates – he _really_ wanted to go to the dining hall. To the extent that he used his luck to alter the drawing. That is his talent, after all.”

He lowered his revolver from Komaeda, who looked uneasy.

“As for why I went through the trouble, I’d made a bet with Komaeda that I could prove how his luck worked. He didn’t believe me, and I was set on proving his luck was _actually_ a talent. I was actually trying to be _nice..._ ”

He glared at him. He could feel that revolting remainder of his old self trying to rise up and guilt him, but he shoved it back down.

“And look where _that_ got me.”

“That motherfucker – he planned this all out – _motherfucker!_ ” Kuzuryu shot a bullet at Komaeda in a fit of rage and it flecked off a few pieces of glass.

“He… He’s the only suspect we have right now.” Koizumi muttered, looking around as though someone else would come forward.

  
Komaeda winced, looking shocked but… Again, _again,_ Hinata could see that it wasn’t authentic. Did he ever tell the truth?

But that horrible little chunk of himself welled up, and he felt his resolve weaken. He had promised. He had _promised_ –

  
“Nagito, if you have any objections, now’s the time.” He said it quietly, still angry but... Tired. “Just – just explain why you couldn’t have done it. _Please._ ”

Why was he pleading? Why did he have to feel that disgusting swell of emotion somewhere in his chest –

Komaeda gripped his podium, his face hidden. Was he...?

“You were really kind to me.” Hinata said gently. “Just – just please _tell me_ –” Komaeda seemed to be breathing hard – was he… Was he crying? The thought made his heart ache terribly against his will.

“Ahah…”

_  
What?_

  
Komaeda burst into laughter, wheezing, slamming his fist on his podium like he had just heard the best joke in the world, gasping, laughing so hard it seemed borderline painful.

“This is – this is so beautiful! The Ultimates working together to avenge their friend’s death – it’s magnificent, it’s astounding, it’s _brilliant!_ Such hope – such –!” He wheezed, pulling himself up, his face composed into something animalistic and brutal, a calculating grin, his eyes twisted. “You’re absolutely correct. I did it. It was _all_ me.”

“ _I_ hid the knife under the table. _I_ used the power cord to find my way during the blackout that _I_ caused. I didn’t expect Togami-kun to have those goggles but, well.” He propped his head up on his elbow, casually. “Aside of our little scuffle, you all got to see how _that_ played out. Every mystery needs a good twist, after all, right, _Hajime?_ ”

  
Hinata felt like he was going to be sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the first trial is kicked off with a BANG! (Because gun) And the trial chapters (5-6) will be posted one after another for uninterrupted flow. I wanted to experiment with gameplay mechanics that wouldn't translate as easily into writing. The reason I felt Danganronpa: The Animation felt so lackluster to me was due to a lot of things, but it was primarily how the trials were dealt with. Rushed, the gameplay mechanics didn't translate well, the bullet imagery had no purpose... So, I wanted to GIVE it purpose. 
> 
> You'll notice that the trial chapters DO have to have a lot of dialogue trimmed, because if I didn't they would be very boring to get through. I wanted to use these trials to further develop Hinata's intellect and Komaeda's manipulative capabilities, and I study each trial minute by minute (quite literally, it takes me a WHILE) to decipher what needs to be kept for fluidity and what can be cut for the sake of brevity. I do intend to still keep things canon-compliant, but my divergences will have to do with how characters react and process their trauma. I always thought the character development in the games was a little weak because there wasn't enough time for them to give motivation and introspection to anyone aside of Hinata. My experimentation is based on how much I can change without altering the course of the game - again, I don't qualify this as an "AU Overhaul" because I really want to play with our pre-established concepts and expectations. I want to see if I can still surprise people even though I try to keep things canon-compliant! And of course, there will be a whole lot of side character development.
> 
> Ah, there I go again, rambling endlessly. Thank you as always for reading and putting up with my self-indulgence and overly verbose flapdoodle.  
> As always, I love and appreciate all of you so, so much. Please be kind to yourselves, and each other. I'll see you shortly for the next trial chapter!


	6. Trials and Tribulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trial continues, and eventually ends. 
> 
> Hinata makes a rash decision based on logic and has to deal with the repercussions.

“He’s – he’s lost his mind.” 

“Were you just – were you just lying to us? This entire time – was it all just a lie? Is this your true nature?”

Komaeda glanced lazily over to Koizumi, smiling serenely.

“Me? Lie? I would never do that to you. I’m just bowing my head, I know the sort of person I am. I’m – I’m…” He took a rattling breath, clutching his head. “I’m just a _lowly, stupid, in-insignifican_ –” His teeth were clenched. Hinata raised his eyebrows.

_  
“A little more aggressive than the voice in my head, but the meaning is the same.”_

  
His voice… Komaeda was hearing _his_ voice in his head. For some reason, this triggered something in him. Whoever Hinata had been in the past, he’d had such an influence over Komaeda that his voice was cutting him off whenever he began to speak poorly of himself. And Hinata realized, as Komaeda looked almost faint with pain, it was _such_ an influence that it was causing his brain to lash back.

“I’m just a – a _useless_ human that had no hopes or dreams of my _own,_ so my only purpose is to act as a stepping stone to hope. Th-that’s all I’m good for! _That’s_ –” He hissed a pained groan between his teeth.

“Holy crap – he’s _totally_ the type of guy who spent his childhood killing neighborhood pets!”

“So – wait. The letter.” Hinata uttered, feeling his voice finally start to quake, betraying his rage. “You sent the letter to Togami.”

“Sure did! I mean, my handwriting is probably the worst on the island, right?” He winced slightly again. “I wish I could say I did it because I wanted someone to catch me, but I just did it because I knew Togami would be on guard!”

“So, pretty much _everything_ this freak did –” Saionji accused, her brow furrowed.

“–Seems to have all been a ploy to manipulate us.” Pekoyama finished for her, looking disgusted.

“I will say I _did_ lie when I said I was unlucky during that drawing.” Komaeda continued, almost bored. “But Hajime already explained it. At least _you_ got that satisfaction, though, _right_ Hajime?” He gazed at Hinata tauntingly.

“Enough. Enough, I don’t care – why. Why Togami?” He remembered that Komaeda had called him a capable leader but...

“It’s not _just_ that he was a natural leader.” He interrupted Hinata’s train of thought, reading his face. “But the fact that he was… To kill someone so charismatic, so strong – doesn’t it just bring about the _worst_ sort of despair? The symbols of hope need to be able to trample over his body and the despair it represents. It’s only fitting, don’t you think?”

He stood up straight, shrugging, smiling manically.

“That was it. That was my only motivation. I don’t care if I live or die – I only care about helping hope _blossom._ ”

“Well, that’s it then. Start the damn vote already. Let’s just kill this psycho.” Ibuki nodded fervently at Kuzuryu, yelling at Monokuma to start the vote when –

_  
BANG._

  
Everyone looked up, stopping in their tracks. Tsumiki was holding her revolver with trembling hands, dropping it after the shot lightly cracked the glass in front of Kuzuryu.

“W-w-wait!”

“Huh? The _fuck?_ ”

“I – I – I just – I w-w-wanted to m-make, um, s-sure…” She took a great shuddering breath. “A-are! A-are we s-s-sure that K-Komaeda-kun is th-the c-c-culprit?”

“Well, we all fucking decided, didn’t we?”

“I kn-know, b-but th-there’s s-something a l-little s-strange –!”

“If it’s only a little then keep your disgusting mouth shut, you trashy skank!”

“Saionji-san, wait.” Hinata raised his hand. “She performed the autopsy. We should let her speak.”

“B-but we’ve already gotten a confession!” Hanamura exclaimed, looking sweaty. “Why do we need to –?”

“Because we need to have every piece of the puzzle in place, otherwise we could still be missing the bigger picture, here.”

“Hajime, you’re actually sort of a poet, aren’t you?” Komaeda jeered, almost flirtatiously, and Hinata pointedly tried to ignore him, feeling the blood in his veins sear again. “Maybe _that’s_ your talent –”

“Cease this infernal bickering. If we are to pursue this line of dialogue, then allow us to make haste to end this madness!”

Tanaka’s roar set the debate off once more. Tsumiki was petrified, only being able to stutter and mumble but… She wasn’t _wrong_ … He’d been concerned about the same subject earlier.

He listened, hyperaware of every voice, tapping his fingers, hearing the ticking clink of the cylinder of his revolver as he selected the bullet he was thinking of – Tsumiki’s autopsy.

There were a flurry of accusations against Komaeda, which he could fault no one for. He was still seething. But…

“That bastard Komaeda did it – he killed Togami with the fucking knife _he brought in!_ ” His eyes shot open, he aimed, cocked, and fired. The words shattered.

“Tsumiki’s trying to say that the knife might not be the murder weapon. The entry wounds were, what, around 5 millimeters in diameter, Tsumiki-san?”

“Y-yes. Which would m-mean –”

“That the weapon would be way skinner than a knife!” Ibuki burst out, clapping her hands together. “But – wait –”

“You’d better not be fucking up on this, I’ll sell your cheap ass to a whorehouse, I fucking swear –!”

“Don’t threaten her –!” But Kuzuryu ignored Koizumi, shooting a bullet at her glass instead of responding.

“He already said he was the fucking killer! What the fuck is this shit, Komaeda?”

He shrugged at Kuzuryu.

“Don’t lash out at _me,_ Tsumiki-san is the one who said it.”

  
Tsumiki wailed an apology out. Hinata felt a rush of confusion.

  
“...Hey, Komaeda-kun. Are you still hiding something? What actually happened during the blackout?”

Nanami’s voice was as steady and calm as ever. Hinata felt a twinge of envy.

“It’s not like anyone could see what was going on, myself included.” Komaeda replied noncommittally. “So there’s no way to tell what was going on –”

There was a shatter. Komaeda’s eyes followed the sound to Hinata’s hand, who had shot through the statement.

“You were there, tagging along behind me. Ibuki heard everything, she recounted it for us. And _you,_ Komaeda, _yelled_ – like you were in pain. Like Togami had fought back.”

“Oh yeah! That’s right, that’s right!”

Ibuki laid out the events as she had heard them, naming each voice as she repeated what had been said.

“I’m 100% sure – Ibuki’s hearing never fails!” Komaeda sighed, shaking his head as though impressed.

“Out of respect for such a _fantastic_ example of talent, I will admit, I was shoved out from under the table. Togami grabbed me and threw me out of there, which is how I got hurt.” He looked frustrated. “And, maybe, in that confusion, I _maybe_ didn’t actually manage to grab the knife.”

“So, what, this whole back and forth – it was meaningless?” Nidai roared.

“We’re right back to square one!” Saionji wailed, tugging at her pigtails. “This is too much!”

“What a despairing thought. All this wasted time…” Hinata looked at him searchingly. “But I also didn’t say I _wasn’t_ the killer. I just had to use a different method _other_ than my perfectly orchestrated plan.”

_Wait. He’s..._ He looked carefully at Komaeda. _He’s stalling. He’s trying to take the blame._

“As the symbols of hope that you are, you just have to overcome this! I’m still the killer, you just have to _prove_ –”

  
Another bang from Hinata’s revolver, his face hardened.

  
“You’re lying.” He snapped bitterly. “You’re covering for someone.”

Komaeda’s mouth twitched into a frown.

“Why would he attempt such a foolish endeavor?” Tanaka shot at him, but Hinata raised his hand.

“Look at his whole setup here. He’s been actively encouraging us to aim for him – and under normal circumstances, if the murder weapon had been a knife, I’d be in complete agreement. But he doesn’t care if we live or die. This is just a game, to him. And I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if he’d, _oh,_ I don’t know...”

His eyes now scanned every face in the courtroom with extreme focus.

“...Maybe whispered to the killer that he would consciously try to take the fall.”

_  
**Found you.** _

  
“That sounds like something you’d do, right Komaeda?”

Komaeda didn’t look at him immediately, shrugging.

“Who would talk to _me,_ Hajime? Honestly, there’s no one that I think would listen to me. You’re all brilliant Ultimates, all shining with hope, all incredible in your own rights –”

A shot fired. Cracking glass. The sound of a whimper. Hinata’s eyes slowly moved towards the man whose screen he’d aimed and shot at.

“Hanamura-kun, about how long were those skewers?”

Hanamura’s face went taut, his eyes narrowing.

“You – is that an accusation?”

“No, it’s a question.” Hinata said firmly. “Because if you aren’t the killer, if Komaeda didn’t try to cover for you, then you should have no trouble answering it. After all, you were the only person with access to kitchen utensils from the very beginning – before Togami confiscated anything sharp.”

“Now hold on – Komaeda-kun said he’d been shoved away, but we can’t _prove_ that, right?” Hanamura shot back, his body language evasive. “And – and he’d hidden the knife ahead of time, too, so it’s not weird that he might have had a backup weapon!”

“W-wait – th-there’s one more r-reason why I think K-Komaeda-kun isn’t th-the killer – I – I mean, doesn’t he look, y-you know, c-clean?”

“Tsumiki-san, that’s so kind of you! Not many people have ever complimented –”

“N-not your _looks!_ You – you d-didn’t…”

Hinata eyes widened. His thoughts left him in a breathless daze.

“He didn’t have any blood on him.”

“Oh, I guess that’s true.” Komaeda mumbled, looking disappointed for a moment before his eyes lit up. “Ah but, Hajime, didn’t you notice something in the storage room? A certain sheet covered in blood, perhaps?”

“Then can we deduce that is how the culprit performed the murder without being soaked in the blood of his enemies?”

“But Tanaka-san, there was a blackout. Komaeda-san would have had to be able to see in the dark in order to dispose of the tablecloth before anyone noticed.” Pekoyama countered, her hand on her chin in contemplation. She hadn’t picked up her revolver once.

“...I think we have to ask if the murder really happened under the table.” Nanami hummed, her brow furrowed. A few people mentioned the mess of blood under the tablecloth as a rebuttal. “I don’t mean that Togami-kun didn’t _die_ there, I mean that it’s possible the murderer wasn’t specifically under the table with him... Maybe.”

“Th—that just sounds like a riddle!” Hanamura yelped. Hinata noted this; he looked distressed, which made his gut feel like they were going in the right direction.

“Ah, that’s okay. Hajime _loves_ riddles.” Komaeda taunted, leaning his head back against his hands like he couldn’t be any more relaxed.

He closed his eyes. Nanami was mumbling to herself. Komaeda was laughing airily. He tried to arrange his thoughts.

A thin object had been used to kill Togami. The object must have stabbed him up, from beneath him. There were gaps in the floorboards –

_  
Wait._

  
“Under the floor.” He breathed. “They must have stabbed up through the floorboards – that’s how we found Togami face down when he had been stabbed. Tanaka-san – you lost your earring during the party, right?”

“The _Hell-Hound Earring._ ” Tanaka growled. “Had it been missing for just a moment longer, I would have reduced everything before me to mere ash and rubble.”

“But you _found it._ You had it on before the Trial started – so you must know how to get under the floor, right?”

“But we were checking the lattice around the foundation of the building – there was no way to get through from the outside... I think.” Nanami added, fiddling with the strings of her hoodie.

  
Hanamura looked extremely uncomfortable now. His gut told him to press on. Tanaka let out a menacing chuckle.

  
“For you mortals that possess no evil eye, I shall explain. With the aid of my Four Dark Devas of Destruction – I located a mysterious hatch, concealed by a box in the storage room. Mirage Golden Hawk, Jum-P, saw beyond the chaos, and when I uncovered the secret passage of doom – and a path opened before me! A path to salvation, to the preservation of this world –”

“–To the space under the floorboards?” Hinata asked, feeling awkward at having to interrupt his passionate monologue.

“Ha _ha!_ _Yes!_ With a lighter obtained from the supermarket, I threw caution to the wind and explored those murky depths! And, after surviving my lonesome battle, I retrieved my token, my all-powerful charm, the Hell-Hound Earring, with my own two hands!”

“So the killer snuck to the storage room, and decided to go all stabby underneath the floorboards?”

Hanamura shook his head at Ibuki nervously, who was now making gory sound effects.

“But – but we were all occupied, I was delivering dishes from the kitchen to the dining hall, Pekoyama-san was in the restroom…”

“And I was guarding the old office building. Monomi was with me, so she can act as my witness.” Nanami glanced at Monomi, who agreed.

“So, what? The killer had to be not at the actual party?” Owari grumbled, scratching her head. “But the only one guy who wasn’t...”

Her eyes flitted over to Kuzuryu.

“Hey, wait just a fucking second! Nanami saw me walk outside the building, the bitch would have noticed if I walked in, don’t you think?!” Kuzuryu snapped, firing a bullet at Owari’s screen.

“But you’re the only person who wasn’t there! _And_ you keep threatening everyone!” Koizumi shot back, her eyes narrowed sharply.

“Shut the _fuck_ up – I’ll fucking kill you! I didn’t do jack shit!”

“There it is again!” And he audibly snarled at her.

But Hinata wasn’t convinced. His testimony was accurate, Nanami _would_ have seen him.

“Wait – Nanami-san, Kuzuryu-kun is telling the truth, isn’t he?”

“Hm... Yeah, yup, I definitely remember seeing him.” She replied thoughtfully.

“You should have fucking backed me up earlier, then!”

“Don’t yell at her! It’s still your fault – why were you even lurking out there in the first place?” Koizumi retorted, still glaring fiercely.

“I was just going for a fucking walk, sue me!”

“Regardless, we already established it was impossible to go under the floorboards from any external entryway – Nanami and I already confirmed it.” Tanaka said clearly, nodding towards Nanami, who nodded back.

“So, we must assume that the perpetrator was… Truly with us at the party?”

Sonia posed it as more of a question, and Hanamura jumped on it.

“It was pitch black during the power surge, none of us of could see anything! There’s no way anyone could have gotten around in that darkness!”

“They could’ve just used something, like that creep did!” Saionji sneered, and Hinata paused again as people began to talk over one another. Nidai mentioned a cord but…

“Ugh, this is a pain, I’m just gonna go with my gut. Couldn’t they’ve just used like, a light?”

Hinata’s brain clicked as his body snapped into position, aiming a bullet at Owari’s words, neon blue across her screen, and he fired. Her screen repaired slightly.

“I agree. Actually, looking at the kitchen equipment list, there were portable stoves that could have acted as a light source.” Owari looked immensely pleased with herself. “They didn’t require electricity, so they could have easily –”

_  
BANG._

  
Hinata flinched, now feeling slight concern at the level of damage of the screen in front of him. Komaeda twirled his revolver again, looking playful.

“Wasn’t Soda-kun trying to reach the breaker during the blackout? There’s a hole in your logic there, Hajime.” He stopped twirling the gun, snapping it smoothly back into a steady grip that he aimed right between Hinata’s eyes. “Unless of course, you’re doubting the words of your friend.”

Nanami nudged him. Overpowering the enemy...

Hinata loaded up his revolver, feeling his nerves rise with every resounding crack of the glass. Komaeda was shooting every other second. Hinata breathed, picked up his revolver and fired back.

“There’s a way the culprit could have used a light source without being seen.”

His bullet ricocheted against Komaeda’s. It became a flurry of one shot after another. He began to sweat at how fragile the glass in front of him looked. He kept shooting, reloading, arguing –

“If there’s a way, then why don’t you _prove it_ –”

Hinata’s bullet shot through Komaeda’s and shattered his words. He felt a swell of relief as the protective glass in front of him restored itself. Komaeda’s, however, sustained heavy damage.

“The fire doors. They could open and close. Assuming the culprit hid behind the doors while Kazuichi looked for the office, they could have hidden their light source, and hidden being seen altogether.”

He lowered his revolver. “I’d suggest you listen more, considering how close your screen is to shattering.”

He wasn’t sure what he’d said that offended Komaeda so deeply, but he looked genuinely irate now. He relaxed himself back into his mocking position, head propped on his elbow, squinting at him appraisingly.

“As expected of the Ultimate – oh, that’s _right._ You _still_ don’t remember your talent, do you?”

“And yet I’m still capable of –” He cut himself off before he said, ‘kicking your ass.’ He took a deep breath. “What’s your goal, here? You claim you could still be the killer, but you tried to feign innocence earlier. The evidence is starting to push in another direction but – _oh._ Oh, I get it.”

  
Komaeda’s eyes angrily narrowed to slits.

  
“You’re _stalling._ You’re wasting time so that Monokuma will get bored, and we’ll be forced to vote for someone that we aren’t unanimously in agreement over.”

“Ohoho! Spiky Chestnut over here said was I was thinking before my sweet voice even entered the fray!” Monokuma squealed. “I _am_ getting bored, and time _is_ running out! Heh. You’re pretty observant, aren’t you?”

_  
Spiky chestnut...?_ Hinata scowled at him. “Hurry up already! You guys talk _so_ much! It’s not an attractive quality, you know?”

  
Hinata didn’t need to be told twice. He had pieced together enough. The only person acting strangely other than Komaeda, the one who had access to the kitchen...

“Sorry, Hanamura-kun.” He finally sighed, raising his revolver. “It can only be you.”

A shot fired, the snap of cracking glass, and the choked gasp of the person behind it.

Hanamura was gaping, the whites of his eyes clearly visible.

“I – I don’t –”

“Come on, now, Hanamura-kun. Surely you can debunk that.” Komaeda said smoothly. “I mean, how would you have been able to use the light under the floorboards? It would have been clearly visible –”

“Can you just – just _stop_ interfering?!” Hinata had reached his breaking point, voice cracking with rage. “You keep –”

“Well, you didn’t go under there to investigate, so I figured I would just highlight that little nugget of information. I could still very well be the murderer, so isn’t it best to make sure?” He was so angry, he was _so angry..._

But Tanaka cut him off before he could yell back.

“There was something strange I noticed while looking for my Hell-Hound Earring.” He mused. “A strange liquid, glowing in the darkness.”

_  
A strange...?_

  
“The _paint_. ” He breathed. “The paint on the knife – someone could use that as a guide –!”

“Then they wouldn’t need a light under there at all!” Owari barked. “They’d be able to know where to stab after they saw the knife move, right?!”

“So – Hanamura, you learned about Komaeda’s plan, then.” He muttered.

_  
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

  
“That’s – why are you accusing me?! I was in the dining hall – Ibuki _heard_ me!”

Ibuki nodded enthusiastically but then paused, continuing with a puzzled look.

“I definitely did – on Ibuki’s honor! But then - what Haji is saying _also_ makes sense... Hm.”

“You didn’t have to be in the room.” Hinata muttered, trying to swallow his anger, the sense of betrayal. “You just had to be close enough to it. Or, in your case, directly below. If a thin skewer could slip through the floorboards...” He glared up at Hanamura. “Your voice most definitely could.”

He was sputtering at this point, sweating, his face turning redder as though he was being slowly constricted.

“That’s – you’re basing this stuff on memory! Hazy memory! You – I don’t –”

“Alright, then an easy question for someone with your interests. Do you remember how Tsumiki-san had fallen down during the outage? If you were in the dining hall with us when the power returned, it’s close to impossible to forget.”

Hanamura bumbled, twisting his hands, mumbling that it slipped his mind. There was no doubt about it, anymore.

Hinata slowly raised his revolver. Hanamura flailed towards Komaeda.

“K-Komaeda-kun, p-please -!”

Hinata eyes found Komaeda’s. He had lied to him. He had lied to him. _He had lied to him._

Hinata fired at Hanamura's screen. Once, twice, three times, never breaking eye contact with the man who now averted his gaze. Komaeda sighed, like he was disappointed.

“I suppose that’s it, then. Sorry, Hanamura-kun. I didn’t anticipate Hajime to be so thorough.” Hanamura blanched, clawing at his podium, gazing at Komaeda beseechingly. “I’m probably even more disappointed than you are. I was rooting for your hope, but it seems like Hajime’s won out.”

Hanamura was pitiable, frantically glancing around like a caged animal. Hinata looked down the sight of his revolver.

“If you have a proper rebuttal, Hanamura-kun, I would genuinely like to be wrong.”

“A proper…?” He suddenly swelled with rage. “The weapon! What’s the weapon then? Where’s the murder weapon?! You don’t have one, do you? You don’t have one – you don’t have a murder weapon at all!”

Hinata cocked the gun, typing in the answer on his Student Handbook, and loading the truth bullet into the chamber.

“Not good enough – not good enough – not good enough – you don’t know – you don’t have a _weapon_ -"

He fired, the statement broke.

“The skewers in the meat. I’m guessing one was left in that huge chunk that hadn’t been touched yet, right? One that I remember you said had been missing from the start when Togami-kun and I were giving the kitchen a once-over. Am I wrong?”

“You don’t – you d-don’t – you don’t _know ANYTHING!_ ”

He was babbling, spewing out accusations, insults, and Hinata locked on and fired on each one, Nanami taking over when he would reload, feeling a crushing weight of guilt, hating this, hating the situation…

Because, somewhere in him, he was _enjoying it._

Hinata fired one last time, and with an extremely loud crash, the glass screen in front of Hanamura broke, smashing violently to the ground. But… He still had one last statement up. Hovering midair like a hologram.

His finger twitched on the trigger.

_  
  
Why?_ He twisted the cylinder. _Why?!_ He cocked the revolver. **_Why?!_** He looked down the sight...  
  


Why did this... Feel so _good?_

  
  
He fired. The bullet blasted through Hanamura’s words, and knocked him backwards, curling into himself in pain. He suddenly felt his senses wash over him and blindly dashed over to Hanamura, leaving his revolver on his podium. He… He was fine. He wasn’t bleeding. Hinata almost cried from relief.

“Wow! Hinata-kun, you really didn’t even hesitate! _Extreme!_ ” Monokuma’s shrill laughter made the guilt in his chest burn painfully. “I didn’t even have to explain what to _do!_ You just did it! You shot an actual bullet at someone! What a rush! What a sight! What a _hunk!_ ”

“You’re so fucking evil.” He breathed roughly, glaring at him, glaring at the mockery. He – he hadn’t _meant_ to – he just didn’t _think_ –

“Hmm? _I’m_ evil?” Monokuma tilted his head. “You know, it’s funny. Out of everyone here, you know who fired the most bullets? It’s a tie between you and Crazy over there! You shot a gun with as much gusto as someone who _you_ keep calling unstable!”

He giggled again, but when he continued, his voice became almost… Deep. Disturbing. Monokuma hopped off his seat, strolling around him, sizing him up.

“You really are surprising. It’s a good thing you weren’t the killer, huh? Because, if you _were_... I wonder if you would have slipped up. Everyone would have died, and you would have walked free. Because, although you might not like lying… You’re more ruthless than everyone here.”

Hinata froze, his blood no longer boiling, but feeling like ice in his veins. Ruthless…? But – but it wasn’t _real,_ Nanami had told him herself –

But everyone was looking at him. Was it concern? It was close, but… Behind their eyes…

  
Fear.

  
They were afraid of him. Why were they –?

  
“But that’s enough chit-chat! I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m _tired!_ No more playing, no more fighting!” He clambered back onto his throne. “It’s that time! That wonderful time! _Voting_ time!”

Hinata slowly walked back to his podium, staring straight down. His hands were shaking. They hadn’t shaken from fear once while he had reloaded, while he aimed. Only out of anger. Never hesitation. He felt the urge to throw up again.

Their glass screens sheathed themselves into the podium, being replaced with a small monitor. He had to tap the person he was voting off. His hands were shaking violently. He didn’t want this, he wanted to go home, he had to throw up, he had to –

“Hinata-kun.” A small hand. He looked to his side, where Nanami wasn’t looking at him fearfully, but sadly. “We can’t screw this up, remember?”

He nodded numbly, his hand still hovering over Hanamura’s name on the screen. She could see his hand shaking and clasped his wrist, gently nudging it forward. He pressed the button.

  
Hinata forced himself to listen to Hanamura. He wanted to repent, he wanted to stop what was happening, he was complicit, he had participated, he had actively hunted down the culprit…

Hanamura had just wanted to see his mom. So, _so_ badly. He had to be there to protect her, to stop her from working herself to death, to help her. Just his mom.

He apologized to everyone, his head hung low.

And then Monokuma killed him. An execution worse than any murderer deserved. Being boiled alive. His head burst from the heat.

Hinata had put him there. Was it worth it, he wondered, hearing his classmates horror? Someone vomited, he couldn’t hear who. One of the girls was sobbing horribly. Hinata heard Tanaka try and force open the door.

He just watched. He refused to look away.

And then it was over. It was over, and they were allowed to leave.

It was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's the end of the first trial!  
> You might notice something about Hanamura's dialogue - I didn't like that, in the English dub, they gave him what sounded like a Cajun accent and then claimed he needed Monomi as a translator. Hanamura's original dialogue in the Japanese original _is_ thick enough that it apparently needs a translator, but as Hanamura is OBVIOUSLY not Cajun, I found it sort of racist, so I just kept his speech pattern the same, albeit more panicked. The accent they gave him was also being mimicked by someone who isn't Cajun, and it was completely understandable without needing to be translated. This wasn't something the translators could change though, as there were entire scenes in the game dedicated to Monomi's translations during the trial. However, since I'm writing this, and have full control, I opted to remove it. It wasn't me forgetting, I honestly didn't feel comfortable transcribing what I felt was sus.
> 
> Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed! Coming up with ideas for the class trials took a bit of brainstorming and a LOT of finagling. I hope you look forward to the next chapter - it's quite possibly one of my favorite chapters. I'm working on the second trial now, and there's a LOT of content in between the first and second trials, plus character development stuff.  
> I love and cherish you all! Please be excellent to each other, and be kind to yourselves! I'll see you tomorrow! <3 <3 <3


	7. Eye for an Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata tries to come to grips with what he's done.
> 
> Komaeda engages in self-reflection, and has a painful epiphany.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy update time! I hope you all enjoy! <3

He didn’t remember how he got from the courtroom back to the beach in front of Monokuma rock, but several of his friends left, looking sick. He just stood there, staring at the sky, feeling like he wasn't quite solid anymore, like he was ready to disappear.

Dawn was approaching. They’d been in there for hours.

“Hajime?” 

Hinata turned. Komaeda looked… What was his expression? This one, he could tell, was authentic.

And it was apologetic.

“Hajime, I – I know I promised, but this was – this was after we –”

“Do you believe in the phrase ‘an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth’?” The words left him blandly, his body feeling hot and dizzy. The sun woke up across the horizon. The light stung his eyes.

Komaeda looked confused, and vaguely alarmed.

“Are – Hajime, are you okay?”

“Do you believe in it?”

There was a weighted silence where Komaeda seemed to be searching for the right words.

“I… I suppose. I used to think that my luck operated on those rules. The bad follows the good, the balance of things, so… Yes, I guess so.”

Hinata nodded slowly, chewing on his lip.

“Right. Okay. Good.” He took a deep, shaking breath. “One.”

And he punched Komaeda dead in the face, feeling something crack. “For Hanamura-kun.”

Komaeda choked, sputtering blood out of his mouth. Hinata briefly heard him whimper out his name and his heart ached against his will.

“Two.” Hinata landed a ferocious blow below Komaeda’s ribs, feeling the give of soft muscle against his knuckles. Komaeda wheezed, the wind knocked out of him, that wretched piece of his past self _yelling, pleading_ for him to _stop_. “For Togami-kun.”  
He gripped Komaeda by the collar with his right hand, who looked close to passing out.

He could hear someone screaming at him. He ignored it.

“Three.” And he planted a left hook across his jaw, blowing him backwards by a foot. He glared down at his twitching body, fighting the desire to break down completely. “That one was for _me._ ” He snarled, adrenaline pumping through his body.

“You lied. You – you fucking _lied to me!_ ” He lunged on top of him, shaking his collar like an animal, roaring at him with either grief or anger, he couldn’t tell. “You fucking _promised_ me you wouldn’t do this! I fucking _trusted_ you! _Why?!_ ”

When had he started crying? He could hear the screaming in his ear now.  
  


“ _HINATA-KUN, ENOUGH!_ ” Nanami was pulling him back, and he nearly shoved her away before registering her words.

“Stop! Stop _right now_ – he’s – he’s down!”

Hinata fell backwards, crying with gritted teeth, pressing his eyes into his arm. He realized he could hear the others clearly, now. Nidai was picking Komaeda up carefully, Tsumiki panicking and looking over his state, which Hinata could see, as he sat up slowly, wiping his nose with his arm, was absolutely _miserable._

He was bloody and bruised, he also appeared to have been knocked out.

Hinata looked at his hands, which were suddenly very painful as the adrenaline began to recede. Covered in blood and sand, knuckles inflamed. He let out another strangled sob, fisting a hand in his hair, turning his head away in shame.

“C’mon. C’mere.” Owari was heaving him onto her back. “You gotta put ice on that. I’ll take ya, c’mon.”

  
Owari carried him to the restaurant, Nanami following behind silently. When they got there, she was gentle with him, easing him into a chair. The scene felt oddly familiar to him, but he didn’t know why. She disappeared for a minute, returning with a bag of ice covered in a cloth napkin and a moist towel. “Give it here.” He stretched out his arms, his hands shaking from pain.

“Thanks.” He said in a very quiet voice as she tended to him.

“It’s whatever.” She answered dismissively with a shrug, but her brow furrowed deeply.

“I don’t blame ya, y’know. Everyone loses their cool, sometimes. And with what we just had to see… He was acting kinda like a tool.”

Hinata nodded, feeling numb once more.

“And as for… As for Teru, when you shot him, you had to. I don’t blame you for that either.” She cleaned the cuts on his hands with the wet towel, before compressing them with ice again. “You were the only idiot out of us that knew what the hell to do.”

“I probably looked like an animal.” He muttered, feeling his eyes sting. “I probably…”

“We’re all fuckin’ animals in the end, man. Teru murdered Byakuya. And that nutjob clearly thought the whole thing was a joke. If you hadn’t hit him, I prob’ly would’ve.” She checked his hands. “Can you move your fingers?”

He nodded, flexing them slightly. “Good. I wouldn’t’ve pegged you for a guy that could throw a punch. If we weren’t worried you’d kill that idiot, we would’a been impressed.”

“You shouldn’t be. I lost control.”

“Nah, you didn’t.” Under the numbness, he felt something. Comfort? Relief? No… It was something more acute than that.

 _Gratitude._ He was genuinely grateful. Her words grounded him slightly.

“If you’d lost control, you would’ve tuned us out completely. Just kept hitting him until he stopped breathing. And, from the little I overheard, you were paying him back, huh.”

He unconsciously raised one of his trembling hands to his face. He didn’t bruise easily, but where Komaeda had punched him still ached slightly when touched.

“Thought so.” He watched Owari. He’d never expect her to be the one to act so kind.

“I know most of y’all think I’m an idiot, and that’s whatever. But I can tell the difference between bloodlust and when you’re at your breaking point. Nekomaru can, too. He’ll calm Mikan down. The fact is – our situation is rotten as _hell,_ so…”

She sniffed, chewing on the side of her mouth. “I don’t blame ya.” She repeated and then wrapped up his hands in bandages without another word.

Nanami was looking at him, but he was consciously avoiding her gaze from shame.  
  


“...Hey, Hinata-kun.” She began while Owari had left to wash the towel and change out the ice. “How much did you know?” He closed his eyes, tears stinging.

“I knew about the plan.” He whispered, barely above a breath, guilt crushing his shoulders. “He told me about the setup, he wouldn’t get rid of it, but he promised me he wouldn’t – h-he promised, and I _believed_ him.” He swallowed thickly, determined not to cry again. “Because I figured – I thought he was –”

“Your memories.” She said gently, and he nodded, eyes still squeezed shut. “Do you think he’s safe? Do... Do you think, or does your _old self_ think, that he’s still a good person, somewhere in there?”

He looked up at her slowly. She had no judgement or anger in her face. She looked sad, her eyebrows creasing the center of her forehead. Her hair had gotten disheveled while breaking up the fight, her hoodie covered in sand.

  
He was so relieved he hadn’t struck her by accident.

  
He took a deep breath, and leaned into that small piece of him, the piece of him that still – no, he didn’t want to think it, even. He was too angry. But… Nanami had asked.

“He... He still loves him. He thinks, no matter what, Komaeda Nagito is a good person. That he’s confused, and he does weird, creepy _shit_ when he’s confused, but that... Ultimately, _somehow_ , he’s good.”

She nodded.

“I think you know what I’m going to say.”

He stared at the floor. He took a while to reply, composing his thoughts.

“That voice is all we have left of our memories of the outside world. Since Komaeda and I both have some tangible leftover remnant of our old selves, I have to… I can’t completely ignore it.”

“That, and you need to apologize, I think.”

  
He stiffened, feeling his eyebrows knit. He had an awful headache.

  
“I know you don’t want to. But, even if Owari-san is right, you beat him up pretty badly. He’s not exactly… Built out of strong stuff.” He sighed, nodding slowly. “It doesn’t have to be today. Um, if he’s even up by the end of today. But maybe it should be sooner rather than later.”

He nodded again.

“And, for the record. I agree with Owari-san. I think you were the only person brave enough to take the shot, so –”

“Wasn’t bravery.” He interrupted, his voice gravelly from yelling, but monotone. He was so tired.

“Huh?”

“It – it wasn’t bravery. I lost control. I just… Saw a target. And I shot. I didn’t hesitate. I should have. You can only be brave if you’re afraid. I wasn’t. I was… I was playing the game exactly how Monokuma wanted.”

“No, that’s wrong.” He looked up at her. He waited for her to say ‘maybe’ or ‘I think’, but it never came.

“Monokuma wants us to be scared. I think he was taunting you at the end because… You probably didn’t give him the response he wanted. You performed purely on logic. But he had to make you feel bad at the end, to get a response. Cuz that’s what bullies do.” He blinked.

She wasn’t smiling, still looking sad and exhausted, but there was a tone of reassurance coming from her. He nodded once more.

“Thanks, Nanami-san.” She patted his shoulder, and he gave her a weak smile.

“…But he’s not wrong, you do kind of look like a spiky chestnut. I mean, now that I’ve _heard_ it…”

“H- _hey!_ ”

  
  


Everything hurt. Komaeda could barely move as he stared up at the ceiling of his cottage. Tsumiki had patched him up pretty well. Apparently, and he thought this to himself with a bitter laugh, he’d gotten very lucky. Nothing was broken, just badly bruised. He lay there, alone now. Nidai had been so kind as to drop him gently in bed, but his well-wishes had been very stiff.

And Komaeda didn’t blame him.

He didn’t blame any of them.

The funny thing was, he couldn’t even _berate_ himself. He was realizing, since his head seared in agony every time he tried, that his self-criticisms were a means to justify his actions. So, when he couldn’t say or think them… All he could do was marinate in the reality of what he’d done. He let out a painful laugh, feeling tears burn his eyes.

All this time, he thought he’d been acting like he should have been.

All this _time_ , he’d thought that by calling himself lowly or disgusting – he winced horribly at the pain the words caused – he thought he’d been doing everyone a _favor._ He’d been giving them a fair _warning._

But it was all selfish. Hinata had been right. The most selfish thing he’d been doing was trying to drag others to his level and then degrade himself to make it seem justifiable.

For the first time – or at least, the first time he _remembered,_ with pure, cold, reasoning – he _realized_ something.  
  


“I’m an asshole, huh.” He chuckled sadly as his head burned. “I’m really just – urgh – an asshole. Hah!” He didn’t know whether the tears came before or after he laughed, not from humor, but from shock.

  
No wonder Hinata had beat him to a pulp. He couldn’t even be angry – which in itself was a shocking thought! _Him!_ Komaeda Nagito - _angry!_ The words were incongruous! But there it was.

He wondered if this was what the many books he’d read described as ‘being human.’ He’d always thought of himself very separately from the characters in each story, secretly feeling haughty at how pathetic their problems seemed, how easily they gave into despair and emotion. He’d never really understood it, because since he’d seen himself as subhuman, not even worthy of life – he curled in agony as the thought was cut down by Hinata’s voice – he’d never been able to empathize.

It really was a beautiful sort of irony. His spirit was broken with his body. Both shattered by a man he’d clearly loved very much, at some point in time.

And bitterly, still did. He wondered how horrible it was for Hinata. Komaeda had only glimpsed his face before having his lights punched out, but his expression had been twisted with grief, with betrayal.

He wondered which Hinata had actually struck him – the old one, tortured by his behavior, or the current one, infuriated with his actions.

He hoped, for Hinata’s sake, that it was his current self. Overcome by blind rage.

But, despairingly, he sensed it wasn’t. He wouldn’t have started to cry. And Komaeda, unable to berate himself, unable to curse himself to cope with his actions, had to just lie there and stew in what he did.

At the time, he thought he was being rational. Now, he observed himself from the outside, watching an insane person try to get a group of friends to commit mass suicide. Watching someone, watching _himself_ , mock and taunt the only person truly pursuing justice in a class trial.

He had helped commit murder. He hadn’t done the work _himself_ even, which would at least mean he would be forced to atone in death. Instead, he saw Hanamura get boiled alive until...

He didn’t know a human head would pop, like that. He didn’t realize that he would care. He hadn’t cared when he saw Togami’s body... So why...?  
  
  


He vomited off the side of his bed, groaning. He deserved this.  
  


He started laughing. He _deserved_ this – and there was a concrete way to tell.

  
Because when he thought it, when his mind looped, _I deserve this,_ on repeat, he didn’t hear Hinata’s voice shutting it down. It was a purely rational thought, one of repentance. The silence spoke volumes.

He wouldn’t let him berate himself with constant insults because they were irrational, anxious thoughts.

His oral self-immolation had been _self-indulgent._

But to know that Hinata’s voice would stay silent at these thoughts, at the thought of what he had earned...

It wasn’t self-indulgent, because acknowledging his behavior for what it was – that, _that_ was _rational._

And Hinata had obviously still been logical in the past. It made him feel strangely nostalgic for the very things he couldn’t remember. He cleared his mind for a few minutes, just breathing.

  
“Alright.” He said aloud, steeling his nerves. “Alright.” He sat up, groaning, and gripping his ribs. “Alright...”

  
He tried to remember. Anything. If someone like _Hinata_ had loved him, then there was a person inside him _worth loving._ Hinata, someone who was logical and thoughtful and listened more than he talked, _loved him._ So... _Why?_

He thought aloud with his eyes closed, pretending he was back home, back in his apartment, with some version of Hinata with him.

  
“So... Who was I?”

_  
“What a modest way of calling yourself an Ultimate. I’ve seen you – you’re pretty sharp. Smart, motivated, thoughtful, always looking out for others…”_

  
His eyes shot open, feeling blood rush to his face.

  
“Not the sort of memory I’m looking for!” He yelped to no one, very easily recognizing a highly suggestive tone to the words. “Just… Hm...” He paused, thinking. Even though that memory came from an… _Intimate_ place, the descriptors weren’t sexual.

  
And those words were describing... _Him?_ Smart, sure, he could see that to a degree, even if he didn’t want to accept it. But he had to, otherwise his _head._

Motivated... Oh, he was certainly motivated to _screw everything up –_

  
“ – _Ouch!_ – Okay! _Okay!_ Fine.” He grumbled, rubbing his head. He felt sort of like a dog being swatted when it pissed on the carpet. He sighed.

  
And… Thoughtful. Always looking out for others. He leaned back against his pillow, staring up at the ceiling again. That didn’t sound like him. He had spent the class trial intentionally disrupting things. But…

It would certainly be less lonely. He glanced around his empty cottage. He was sure Hinata had friends that understood his actions because he had earned their trust. _He_ looked out for others. _He_ was thoughtful.

  
And… He sort of admired that. He _really_ admired it. Komaeda had just never thought he was _capable_ of it.

  
But if he had been that sort of person, at some point… Could he be that person again? And if so, how?

He meditated again. If he could get just a snippet – if he could get _lucky_ enough…

  
His luck. Motivated by things he wanted or expected to happen... He decided to test Hinata’s theory for himself.

  
He emptied his mind and focused purely on what he needed. He needed to be lucky. He needed something, anything –

_  
  
“It may sound a little weird, but I sometimes like to imagine I’m in a murder mystery story. Not in real life, but whenever I read. Like I have to find a killer before they get me, or the people I care about.”  
  
“Do you think you’d be good at it?”  
  
“I **am** very lucky. I’d probably make for a terrible character, I would just guess the killer and probably be correct.”  
  
“Ah, but what if **I** were the killer? Would you rat me out or be my accomplice?”_

  
  
His head seared, but he gasped, pumping his fist. That had _really_ hurt but – but that was a _conversation!_ That was _his_ voice! That was a clear memory! He grabbed his handbook off the table beside him and quickly typed it out in his notes so he wouldn’t forget.  
  


And… It was really familiar to the talk he’d had with Hinata just the other day. But with some very key differences.

  
Then he leaned back again and studied it. Had they been talking about the island? No, the conversation was playful. Like… Like they were talking about something fun.

  
He’d been sharing something he had been reading.

  
“That novel.” He muttered, raking his hand through his hair. “The novel I forgot – that’s – that’s _this!_ That’s this conversation! Hajime, you’re _brilliant!_ ”

He breathed, exhilarated even though his head was throbbing so hard his eyes were watering. He’d been talking about a murder mystery. And Komaeda had thought he’d make a terrible character because of his luck – but unlike the other day, it _wasn’t_ because he had deemed his luck unpredictable and disastrously chaotic.

It was because he had felt his luck would make things too easy. Had he truly been so in control of it? Had he truly thought that he could completely, and without fail, guess the murderer? So...

  
He had been _confident_ about his talent?! About _himself?!_

He felt almost horrified at the thought.

  
And Hinata had been joking about being the killer… They must have been very comfortable with one another to talk so freely. He felt a strange sense of wistfulness.

  
But these were memories, these were indisputable – he trusted them. If they weren’t real, he doubted his head would feel like it was about to explode… And he thought of Hanamura again, repressing the urge to vomit once more, his mouth sweating unpleasantly.

  
  
He wanted to clean the floor but felt too bruised up to do anything of the sort. He scooted further down on the bed, trying to make his body a little bit more comfortable.

  
  
He had been thoughtful. Caring. Capable of love and being loved. Confident. Smart. Motivated.

Those were... Those were _wonderful_ descriptors. And _Hinata_ had seen him that way.

Blunt, brutally honest, logical _Hinata._ Someone who hated lying and sugar-coating things.

  
  
So...

  
  
“How the _hell_ do I apologize?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we're starting to see why part 1 was necessary to read before part 2. These memories are direct quotes from the previous installment! I specifically tailored part 1 to lead into the conflict of part 2.
> 
> This is also one of my favorite chapters (although there are many I really like coming up) because I felt like Owari wasn't given much credit for her guts and intuition. She was dumbed down a lot in the game, even though her instincts come through in many valuable ways (smell of blood, during the second trial, in the last chapters of the game, her loyalty and determination) and this scene may also feel slightly familiar to you as it does to Hinata. 
> 
> Owari is the one who carries him back to the Talent Course building in the middle of chapter 12 of part 1. I always saw her as a character with a lot of potential, so I enjoy being able to write her out as, although still tough and gutsy, far less of the "dumb boobie-laden athlete" archetype. I felt similarly about Asahina being done dirty, whose optimism and loyalty was a huge asset in her own killing game and in the DR3 future/despair anime.
> 
> You also might notice that I don't give many physical descriptors for each character, aside of Hinata and Komaeda.  
> This is for two reasons: one, everyone has their own headcanons for how they would artistically interpret a character, and two: if you have eyes, you know that danganronpa girls are often used for fanservice.
> 
> I personally don't like to focus of descriptions of how people look unless it's integral to a scene. As such, unless it fits into a characters dialogue (ergo Hanamura, Saionji or Kazuichi) there aren't going to be detailed descriptions of someone's body.  
> Anyway, that's enough of my personal thoughts. Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, I love you all, and I'll see you tomorrow for the next update!
> 
> Please be kind to yourselves, and to each other! <3 <3 <3


	8. Coming Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naegi and Kirigiri discuss some important information.
> 
> Hinata has to swallow his pride and do something he doesn't want to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise early update! I still want to post another chapter at midnight, but I might be swarmed with work, so I'm putting this up early just in case.

“I brought this for you.”

“Ah, thank you very much!” Naegi accepted a cup of coffee from Kirigiri, who looked exhausted. She would never admit that she was, of course. “They just… Well, you saw.”

“Mm-hm.” She took a sip from her own mug. Her hair was loosely tied up in a ponytail, her leather jacket hanging over her chair. At this point, all of them had sort of dropped the notion that they would be looking well-rested and put together.

Togami (to Naegi’s _immense_ joy) had actually worn sweatpants for the first time in his life.

He’d had to run to find Asahina, where they clutched each other in a fit of silent, desperate laughter. Naegi wasn’t much better, of course. He was wearing a baggy t-shirt and shorts, his hair in desperate need of a trim.

“They handled it pretty well.” He said finally, glancing at the screens. “I mean, it was _horrifying,_ just like ours were, but… I was worried it would go worse.”

“Hinata-kun lived up to his talent.” Kirigiri agreed, scratching the back of her head tiredly. Naegi felt tenderly about the motion. She very rarely expressed… Well, any sort of discomfort.

“His talent? You don’t think Kamukura can take over in the simulation, right?”

“Hm?” And she suddenly narrowed her eyes. “You didn’t read the file I gave you, _did_ you Naegi-kun.”

It was _very much_ not a question – her detective voice was on. He jerked upright, flushing slightly, rubbing his neck.

“Ahah – well, uh – remember when I asked if there was anything explicit in it and – and you never answered me? W-well, I was – I got caught by surprise! S-so I... Er...” She sighed.

“You can’t afford to act like a blushing bride when you’re investigating.” Kirigiri stated firmly, brushing a loose bang from her face. “Hinata-kun wrote that memoir himself. He was trying to jog his memory. The intimate things a person experiences are often a strong part of their identity. Wouldn’t you do the same?”

He felt a twinge of guilt.

“You’re right. I got squeamish. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I know your character. You’re…” But she went slightly pink and cleared her throat. “Hand it over. The memoir.” And he waved her hand to usher him to speed it up.

He obliged immediately, and she flipped through it. “Here. Read.”

“Ah... O-okay… Wait! This – this isn’t Hinata-kun’s –”

  
“ _Read_.” She instructed again, and he nodded fervently. He cleared his throat.

  
“ _Hajime, this is Nagito."_ Naegi read aloud. _"They took you in earlier today. I didn’t think you would need this memoir, but I’m glad you didn’t delete it. I’m_ –”

Naegi hesitated, his heart sinking.

“ _I’m not doing very well, but you don’t need to hear that! You don’t need to worry about me. What’s important is that you remember everything. I love you. I’m_ –”

He paused. Kirigiri nodded at him sadly to continue.

“ _I’m going to wait until you get back. I’m going to make sure you remember. When you remember, you’ll probably find all of this very funny! Or maybe not. You’re too kind to laugh, even if this sadness will just be a memory. I really miss you. It makes me feel a little better to read your Talent Course packet –_ wait what?"

He stopped again, looking up. “Talent Course packet?” But Kirigiri’s lack of response indicated that she was already aware. She gestured for him to keep reading.

“- _to read your Talent Course packet because I get to see your handwriting. I never told you that I noticed how clean your handwriting was when we first spoke in the library! And to see how quickly you filled this out… I’m so proud of you. Don’t get me wrong, I was proud of you before you became an Ultimate! But you really are something special. My Ultimate Analyst, Hinata Hajime. I miss you. I love you **so** much. Please remember soon, okay?_ ” He closed the memoir.

"So... That's what you meant."

  
Naegi felt very embarrassed as he roughly wiped his eyes. Kirigiri looked impassive and collected as always.

  
“He passed the test. Not that I didn’t have a feeling.” Kirigiri said quietly, and Naegi realized that, though her face was composed, her voice wavered ever so slightly.

“Our tests – the tests for the Ultimate Analyst and the Ultimate Detective talents – are actually quite similar. My talent focuses more on criminology and forensics, whereas the Analyst test focuses less on crime scenes and more on interpersonal scenarios and reading body language – but the processes of deduction are near identical.”

“I’ve not recovered all of my memories, but I’m guessing my packet was more focused on luck, like Komaeda-kun’s. Although our luck was very different. I still don’t know how mine works.”

“I think your luck was more subdued and erratic.” Kirigiri mused. “You’re the Ultimate Hope – it makes sense that you wouldn’t give as much energy into a sub-talent.”

“Ah, don’t call me that. I’m…”

He trailed off thoughtfully – he wanted to say average but... Hinata-kun had lived the same way, hadn’t he? And as a result...

“...It just sounds a little pretentious. I’m ‘hopeful’, rather than an Ultimate specializing in it, you know?”

  
She breathed a laugh, smiling.

  
“But… Hinata-kun was an _Ultimate_. I didn’t know that – I didn’t leave that in his memory –”

“You couldn’t have, anyway. We had to go past the point where any of the remnants knew one another. But, at some point, we’ll have to remove them from the simulation regardless, since the virus has hijacked it.”

Naegi nodded.

“Still – now I understand what you were referring to. During the class trial he was… Well, he was close to your level, Kirigiri-san!” He paused, taking a mouthful of coffee before thinking. “But… I’m a little worried.”

“Because he was ruthless?”

He choked on his drink, coughing into his arm. “I heard what Monokuma called him. And I can see how some of his actions came off as alarming… But then I saw him afterwards.”

“When he beat up Komaeda-kun?!”

“Well, that, and while watching the execution. Hinata-kun is very emotional for an Analyst. Typically, people’s personalities and their Ultimate talents have more… _Cohesion_.” She drummed her fingers on his desk.

“You’re naturally optimistic and passionate about it. Togami-kun is ambitious and cunning. Asahina-san is athletic and indefatigable. I’m reserved and make silent calculations. Hinata-kun didn’t have the time to find the comfort zone between his instincts and his talent, since he was taken into the Kamukura project only a day after he’d been tested. During the trial, he relied solely on his logic and analytical skill, which led him to a decisive conclusion. But if you haven’t made peace with a talent like _that_...”

She looked somber as she continued, her brow furrowed.

“I’ve told you how I burned my hands in the past. I was younger and inexperienced. I loved detective work, but I was far too rash and made snap judgements without thinking them through. And I got hurt.”

Naegi’s eyes flitted over her gloves.

“When your talent is logic based, such as gambling, prodigal status, or detective work, emotions have to be kept contained. Not eradicated, as we’ve seen in some individuals.” She glanced at Togami’s desk. “But relegated to a place in our minds where they can be controlled. Hinata-kun never got the opportunity to learn that, and he’s been thrust into a situation where his Ultimate talent is necessary to survive. I’m not surprised that he lashed out. It’s... _Traumatic_. We know that far better than most.”

  
There was a moment between them where Naegi wondered if they had the same thought in their mind. When he’d sacrificed himself and trusted her theory, back during their own killing game.

When she thought, for a moment, that she had sentenced him to death to uncover the truth of the mastermind.  
  
She had never said it, but Naegi assumed she must have been horrified... And yet, through it _all_... She’d maintained composure. She'd maintained it because she had to _survive._

  
“Komaeda-kun is trying to remember some things.” He finally said, breaking the silence. “Thankfully, his memories seem to be related only to Hinata-kun, but it’s clearly hurting him. Should we –?”

“Interfering with them would be a bad idea. Partially because it might lock us out of being able to retrieve them later, but also… If what you’ve told me in the past is correct, then that voice in his head is almost acting like a conscience.” Naegi nodded. She took a sip of her coffee before continuing.

“So it might be good to allow him to remember that. Komaeda-kun was considered somewhat unstable even before the brainwashing. If anything, Hinata-kun's influence stabilized him monumentally. It might make things easier on the two of them if he decides to return to that version of himself.”

“You don’t think it could disrupt the simulation?”

“Not any more than Monokuma’s actions. If Komaeda-kun manages to get a grip on himself, I believe it may actually prove beneficial in the long run. Controlling his luck made him a terrible force of despair, but if used alongside his classmates for a better purpose…”

Naegi glanced at his screen, watching Komaeda talk himself through things.

“Hopefully Hinata-kun can come around.”

“Mm.” Naegi hummed, tapping his fingers against the rim of his mug.

He glanced at the memoir again, feeling remorseful. Kirigiri must have noticed his expression, responding kindly.

“I can watch your screen for a bit. Read it. It’s a good way to know what they went through.”

He agreed, thanking her, and went to sit on the sofa with the file and his coffee in hand.

  
  


“Komaeda!” Hinata banged on his door again forcefully. “ _Komaeda!_ " He turned to his friend. "Look, _Nanami-san_ , he’s _not opening the door,_ he doesn’t want to talk to me right now.”

  
She frowned at him, her arms crossed.

  
He sighed, turning back to the door. “Damn it – _KOMAEDA!_ Open the _damn door!”_ He went for the handle.

“It’s… Open?”

They stepped inside. The room was empty. He suddenly felt very anxious.

“Let’s ask around. Maybe the others have seen him.” He noticed that Nanami bore a similar expression of unease, which only made his stomach churn more unpleasantly.

  
He found Kazuichi and Nidai whispering to one another, which stressed him out further. He approached them.

  
“Hey – have either of you seen Komaeda? He’s not in his room.”

“Wh-what? No! Of _course_ not! Why would that weirdo be anywhere near me, man?” Kazuichi blustered, nervily fidgeting with his lapel. “I’m sure he’s off exploring the island. I – I should probably go meet Sonia!”

Before Hinata could get a word in edgewise, he sprinted off. He turned to Nidai with a raised eyebrow.

“Hinata – there comes a time in every man’s life where he has to make a choice.” His voice was low, grave.

“I – what are you saying?” His heartbeat picked up, he felt sweat beading on his back. “What did you –”

“And that choice… Is using your own bathroom or _manning up_ and using the one in the _restaurant!_ ” He bellowed, and Hinata felt it vibrate in his bones. “I’ve gotta _SHIT!”_

And he too, dashed away.

Hinata was obviously suspicious, but he didn’t see Nidai or Kazuichi as potential killers. More than that, however, since he was still stinging from learning what Hanamura had been capable of, they weren’t being extremely discreet. He sensed he would be able to tell if they had done something truly terrible.

But he had no idea where Komaeda was.

“I mean,” he muttered to himself. “I can just… Put it off for now, then. Just tell Nanami-san I couldn’t find him and that we can wait around for him to show up.” He nodded.

“Yeah. Yep, that’s what I’m gonna do.” His legs weren’t moving.

“I said, _that’s what I’m gonna do._ ” He repeated to his body, stuck in place.

“I _said_... Damn it. Damn, damn, _damn,_ okay. _Fine._ ”

  
He ran around the islands, glancing in the new areas. He wasn’t in the library, which he imagined would have been Komaeda’s first choice, nor at the pharmacy, or the strange ruins, or anywhere on the private beach that had opened up, Chandler Beach. He wasn’t on the central island either, but –

  
“So tell me, Spiky Chestnut, do you like what you _see?_ ” He nearly shot out of his skin at Monokuma’s voice, which breathed right against his neck. He stumbled forward, spinning around to face him. “Tell me! The newest motive! Isn’t it cool?”

He glanced up. There was an old arcade game beside the statue in the central park.

“It’s… Isn’t it just a game?”

“Just a game?! Ohh, Spiky, my sweet, _stupid,_ little chestnut. No! It’s a _motive!_ And a piece of high art! I created the whole game myself, you see.”

“Twilight Syndrome Murder Case...?” The name sounded familiar to Hinata as he read it off the side of the arcade machine. “How is a game a motive, exactly?”

“Play it and find out!” Monokuma taunted with a menacing giggle. “I did take some liberties with the existing title – Twilight Syndrome was a very popular franchise, but I like to believe I’ve improved it.”

Monokuma was chuckling to himself. It made Hinata deeply uncomfortable.

“And here’s a fun fact, so listen up, Spiky. The first person who beats this game gets something really good. A few of you have already played it, too!”

Hinata, who had been inspecting the machine, glanced over to Monokuma.

“Did Komaeda play it, by any chance?” Monokuma tilted his head, looking shrewd.

“You know, I find your whole dynamic with Crazy pretty interesting. I’m not going to tell you who else played it, but I’ll be nice this once, since I’m such a rascal. Crazy _did_ come by here shortly after I installed it.”

“He’s got a name, you know.” Hinata snapped, glaring.

“Hmm? And what name should I call him by? _You_ certainly have some trouble deciding.” Hinata felt his muscles tense, his teeth gritting. “Liar-san? Komaeda-kun? _Nagito?_ Or is it something more… _Intimate?_ ”

He had to resist the urge to lunge at the tittering animal. He didn’t want to die from an angry outburst.

“You’re an interesting case, Hinata-kun.” Monokuma mused, pacing around with a small bounce in his step. “It would be fun to see you kill someone. And I’ll tell you this, you of all people should really want your memories back. But!” He stopped pacing. “I’ll give you one more hint.” His voice, still high-pitched, became icy. “There’s something for you somewhere on these islands. A present, from me to you.”

Hinata felt his blood run cold. _What... What kind of...?_

“Maybe you’ll find it, maybe you won’t! I just wanted to let you know.”

  
And he vanished, leaving Hinata standing there with a terrible sense of dread billowing in his breast.

He caught up with Nanami, who looked deeply troubled. She apparently not only knew about the game but had actually already played it.

“W-what? So, what was the motive?”

“I don’t know.” She admitted with a frown. “I played it – there’s actually an old cheat code you have to do in order to play the full game, but I’ll tell you about it after you check it out.”

“Did you get the prize, then?” She shook her head.

“Someone else must have beaten me to it. Monokuma wouldn’t tell me – I’m guessing... The prize might be the _actual_ motive. Maybe.”

  
He groaned, rubbing his temples and closing his eyes, frustrated. “Did you find him?”

  
She didn’t need to say his name for him to know who he was talking about. He lowered his hands, sighing as he looked at her uncomfortably.

“No. I looked everywhere on the islands, even the one that just opened up. I – I don’t know where he is.”

She chewed on her thumb, her eyes narrowed in concentration.

“Maybe we should check in with everyone at breakfast, see if anyone else might have met with him today.”

They went up to the restaurant. Nidai and Kazuichi were muttering to one another again, and when Hinata asked Owari, Sonia, Tanaka, and Tsumiki, they all said that they hadn’t seen him.

He straightened and turned his attention back to the other two. They seemed to shrink under his stare.

“Alright guys. Fess up, please.” Hinata announced, clearly enough that everyone in the restaurant could hear him. “Where’s – where is he.”

Nidai glared up at him with terrifying ferocity, but Hinata stood his ground. Then, Nidai laughed.

“Hah! I like you, Hinata! You’re no coward!” And he slapped him hard on the back. “Look, after yesterday, Kazuichi and I had talk. That idiot nearly got us all killed, you know!” Kazuichi nodded strongly in agreement but wouldn’t meet Hinata’s eyes. “We figured it might be good for him to be separated from us. Just so that the fool can get his head on straight!”

“Separated? But he wasn’t in his cottage.”

“I made an executive decision as a Team Manager. The most important thing to do is be unified, as a team! And that guy stirred up a hell-storm of trouble, yesterday! I know what it’s like to be weak and scared, Hinata, but at the same time, I couldn’t take his behavior lying down. Kazuichi and I… Made a judgement call.”

“We didn’t kill him!” Kazuichi interjected, looking panicked. “We just, you know, knocked him out a little.” He mumbled, as though there was a way to knock someone out ‘a little’. “And uh… You know, we tied him up, so that he couldn’t pull another stunt. Koizumi-san checked in on him for us, but she said he wasn't talking to her, just like... Meditating, or something. She got creeped out and left.”

Hinata pressed his fingers against his eyes, letting out a drawn-out exhale. He felt relief, but this still wasn’t a good situation.

“I… Alright, _yeah,_ I can understand that. But does he have food and water? You can’t leave someone tied up like that, plus…” And he continued with a tone of shame that welled from his gut. “He’s sort of beaten up, right now. He has to be able to heal properly.” He looked up at the two of them, crossing his arms. “Where’d you leave him?”

“Spoken like a true leader.” Nidai replied with a peculiar look of pride, stroking his chin. “Alright. He’s tied up in the dining hall in the old office building next door. Do what you think is best. But, with that said –”

“ –You tell him that if he pulls some shit like that again, we’re gonna have to break his arms.” Kazuichi finished gravely. His expression was uncharacteristically serious, his brow furrowed.

“Understood.” Hinata sighed. “Thanks for your honesty.”

  
He piled food high on a tray. He didn’t really know the sort of things Komaeda liked to eat, so he figured it was better to be safe than sorry.

  
“I’m just gonna go talk to him – I’m not going to punch him again!” He quickly added at the look of suspicion on Nanami’s face. “I need to apologize anyway. Just – just hang back. I’ll meet you outside.”

She sighed, nodded, and patted his shoulder.

“I’ll trust you. Try to let it go, maybe. It’s not a good idea to stay angry while we’re all already stressed out, I think.”

“I know, I’ll – I’ll try.”

“Good.” She smiled, no judgement in her face. He felt a tint of gratitude as he said goodbye.

He left the restaurant through the lobby, bracing himself as he pushed open the door to the old office building. He hesitated before the dining hall, then slowly entered.

  
There he was. Tied up, bruised, absolutely pitiful, and the words left Hinata’s mouth before he could stop them.

  
“You _goddamn moron._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really excited to be able to spend some time writing interactions with Naegi and Kirigiri - their relationship, whether someone likes Naegiri or not (I personally do, but it's not the focus of this installment - again, sticking mostly to canon compliance where I can, since Naegiri was mostly confirmed in DR3 Future/Despair Arc) was always one I found to be trusting and respectful.
> 
> Also, we're leading into another one of my favorite chapters. Actually, I'm very fond of the story progression from this chapter onwards. You might notice some key differences in how important plot points are handled - I still work hard keep the general content the same, but there are things moved around, certain things switched, and some stuff that I added or developed to make things more interesting and suspenseful, where I can! Fun fact, this chapter stops short of 63 pages! That's a lotta writing! 
> 
> As always, I love and appreciate you all, every comment and kudos you give me motivates me to do my very best to deliver some interesting stuff! I do hope you continue to enjoy.  
> Be kind to yourselves, and to each other! I'll see you soon! <3 <3 <3


	9. Epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two people reach an understanding. Trust is a process.

Hinata placed the tray down, grumbling to himself as he helped Komaeda sit upright. He was breathing hard, his face contorted in a pained grimace.   


“Only you, _only you_ would get yourself into this kind of shit.” He muttered, checking Komaeda’s hands, which were handcuffed around a pillar. “ _Shit,_ I can’t cut through these. Komaeda, talk to me. How are you feeling.”

“Like crap.” He rasped out. Hinata’s eyebrows raised. His voice was… Really honest. “But I deserve it. I really don’t blame them at all. I was acting like a, well, like you said – like a _goddamn moron.”_ He chuckled weakly, flinching from pain.

Hinata moved back, staring at Komaeda.

“I’m sorry.” He finally said, sitting cross legged in front of him. “I shouldn’t have hit you. No, I shouldn’t have _beaten the hell_ out of you. Anger or not, I screwed up. I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for that.” Hinata felt another jab of surprise. “I deserved it. Plus, it was an eye for an eye. I punched you twice, you never hit me back. Add in an extra punch for what I put you through, that makes us square. Deal?”

  
Who… Who _was_ this guy?

Komaeda’s eyes looked bloodshot, but there was not an ounce of his typical hysteria. He looked completely grounded, frank, and serious. His face was bruised up to high hell, but he wasn’t looking at Hinata with fear, anger, or even that depraved and delusional expression he would get while talking about hope.

He just looked normal.

  
“I – what the hell happened to you?”

“Oh, God.” And he chuckled, cringing at the pain of his position. “You won’t believe this – so, I decided to actually try and remember some stuff. Who I was before being stranded here. Who I was when I was with you – and _apparently,_ no joke, I was actually a _decent person._ I was nice and thoughtful and – I honestly cannot _believe_ I’m saying this – _confident._ In _myself._ ” He laughed again, not insanely, not out of depravity, just...

Just... At himself. In a non-derogatory way.

“And I realized, I’ve been a real _asshole – ow!”_ He inhaled sharply between his teeth. “Ugh. I have to stick to saying rational stuff, otherwise your voice comes after me with a vengeance.”

“My... Voice?”

“Yeah. So, from what I’ve gathered, _you_ , a _truly_ decent and self-aware guy who hates lying, _really_ loved me. I ran some tests last night – I actually never went to _sleep_ – and I realized that you didn’t fall in love with the way I am now. You must have – God help me, this sounds so weird coming out of my mouth – helped me actually _grow up._ _That_ guy is the Komaeda Nagito you fell in love with.”

Hinata blinked, processing this.

“And when I remembered that – I realized that it’s _no wonder_ I’m not allowed to insult myself. Because that was probably a habit you worked really hard to break me out of. Because you could probably tell that by insulting myself, I was just… Justifying treating others distantly. Like I was both inferior and superior to everyone, and that by calling myself –” He hesitated.

“Worthless, pathetic or stupid?” Hinata offered. Komaeda nodded gratefully.

“Thanks, I can’t say it myself otherwise I get zapped. By calling myself those... _Things,_ I got to get away with anything nasty that I did, because no one could expect anything else out of me. You must have _really_ hated that. So, and again I’m really just speculating here, as we became friends you probably tried to get me to my senses. You taught me how to act like an actual human being. And, let me tell you, remembering all of this _sucks.”_

Komaeda looked up at the ceiling, his expression pensive.

“But that means… I was someone worth caring about. I could love and _be_ loved. To you, that might seem obvious, like it’s an innate thing humans have from the second they’re born. But I never thought I could. I genuinely didn’t know. And...”

His eyes flooded with genuine remorse.

“I’m _so_ sorry. You don’t need to forgive me, you can even _hate_ me, but I can’t let you leave without hearing it from me at least once.”

  
His eyes met Hinata’s once more. Tired, pained, but… Extremely determined. And, Hinata could tell this, both by a gut feeling and just by observing his face carefully, that none of this was staged.

He was serious. He meant what he was saying. Hinata chewed his lip, tapping his thumbs together, nodding slowly.

  
“Alright.” He announced with a decisive clap of his hands. “There should be something like wires in here, right? Or two skewers would work.”

He got up, Komaeda watching him with an intense look of confusion. He went to the kitchen, rifling through the drawers. He found two safety pins serendipitously strewn in with the clutter of cooking utensils. He re-entered the dining hall, kneeling beside Komaeda.

“Alright, so I want you to focus your luck entirely on me. Just for a minute or two, I need you to _really_ want me to get what I want, got it?”

“Uh, sure.” Komaeda muttered, swallowing dryly. “Okay.”

His face emptied of expression aside from his eyebrows, which were knitted together in focus. He opened up the safety pins and straightened them, inserting them into the lock of the handcuffs. He had no idea what he was doing, but he just needed to figure it out…

He felt a strange sensation, like some invisible force was gently guiding his fingers. He listened to the feeling, following every small movement it urged him to make, until he heard the click he’d been waiting for. He removed the handcuffs.

“Got it.” He held them up in front of Komaeda, victorious.

“You – that was amazing.” A smile grew on his face. “ _Thank you!_ I – God that feels _so_ much better, _thank you.”_ He rubbed his wrists, which were swollen and bruised. “I – thank you so much. I didn’t expect you to –” Hinata interrupted him, pointing a finger in his face.  
  
“But you pull another stunt like that and Nekomaru and Kazuichi won’t even be _able_ to break your arms, because I swear to _God_ I will fucking _kill_ you.” He said it fiercely, but he didn’t feel angry anymore. He just had to make sure Komaeda understood. “I’m choosing to trust you. But if you’re lying to me, I swear, I _swear –”_

“I understand.” And Komaeda said it very seriously, keeping eye contact. “I deserve that.”

  
No pain passed his face as he said it. It was a rational thought. There was a beat of silence between them.

  
“I brought you some stuff to eat.” He slid the tray over. “Tell me more about this uh… Epiphany, I guess.”

Komaeda nodded, slathering butter onto a piece of toast.

“I want to be like him.” He began slowly, taking a bite and chewing thoughtfully. “I want to be that guy, again. If it happened once, then I’m clearly not stuck like this.” He swallowed. “Do you want to know how you described me?”

“You… You’re hearing actual conversations? Like sentences? I thought you just heard my voice vaguely.”

“Oh no.” Komaeda shook his head, drinking a mouthful of orange juice. “No, I was hearing things you actually said. Like I said – last night I practiced a little bit of what you told me. I actually heard two distinct conversations, one was –” He flushed and cleared his throat. “The first one was some general descriptors. You were just uh – complimenting me. Normally.”

Hinata cocked an eyebrow.

“It wasn’t a normal conversation at all, was it.” He wasn’t even asking, Komaeda’s face was growing steadily redder. He looked away, leaning against the pillar, and took another bite of his breakfast before answering.

“No,” he swallowed again and took a breath. “I think it was praise that was leading _into_ something. But you aren’t the sort of guy who just compliments people randomly, from what I know.” Hinata gave a single nod.

“That would be, uh… Accurate. I don’t like to bullshit people.”

“Right. So, aside of the circumstances surrounding _when_ it was said, the content of it – you called me smart, motivated, thoughtful, and always looking out for others. Sharp. You said it all with, uh… Very _strong_ intentions. Under normal circumstances I would think that you’d be lying, or that my mind made something up, but if I imagine you telling a lie, like, ‘I’m Hinata Hajime, I can run fifty laps without collapsing’ or something innocuous like that –”

“That’s not a lie though, I actually _can_ run that much without collapsing.”

“Are you _serious?_ _I_ have trouble with just – wait, I can’t lose my train of thought.” He chuckled, moving onto the miso soup he’d been brought.

“Anyway, if that _were_ a lie, which it apparently _isn’t,_ and I thought it, I wouldn’t feel any pain. I can imagine you saying all sorts of things, but it’s different than the voice I hear when I’m berating myself. So, when I was remembering those interactions, I got the same feeling, which you might have noticed, is _really painful._ It’s like my brain is being zapped with a cattle prod – it’s extremely unpleasant.”

He took a long drink of the soup in his hands.

“But that pain acts as a kind of indicator whether something is real or not. If my head feels like it’s being cleaved in two, that’s a real memory. And if the memory is of you debunking what I’m saying, then it’s an irrational thought. I must have developed it as a coping mechanism. Instead of listening to my anxiety, I listened to you. It must have calmed me down.”

  
He took a moment to finish his soup, and Hinata took a moment to think. Just like he instinctively trusted that little piece of him was telling the truth, as he really hated it when it guilted him, he assumed Komaeda probably didn’t enjoy the sensation of remembering. He felt a vague sense of comfort that they were in the same boat.

  
“Alright, so the first conversation confirmed that you were actually a good person at some point.” Komaeda nodded, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “And the second?”

“Do you remember the other night on the beach, where I was trying to tell you about the last book I’d read? We talked about whether I would make a good character in a mystery novel. I couldn’t remember what book it was, but I knew it was a murder mystery.”

“I remember, yeah.”

“Right, well, I could gauge by context that we were discussing that book. I must have been telling you about it, like we did the other day, and we were joking around. Actually, wait, I wrote it down.” And he dusted his hands together before pulling his Student Handbook out of his jacket pocket. He tapped the screen a few times and handed it over to him.

Hinata took it. Each line of dialogue was preceded by the speakers name, so…

_This conversation is almost identical, but…_

“Wait, _I_ was joking about being a killer? What the hell does that –”

“It’s not easy to tell by the way I wrote it down, but you weren’t serious at all. I think you were just teasing me. Our voices were kind of telling, I sounded like I was just sharing what I was reading and mentioning that sometimes I imagined myself in those types of stories. You sounded…”

He trailed off. Hinata looked back at the notes he’d taken.

“How did I sound?” His voice was low and very gentle, curious. He felt oddly nostalgic.

“Um. Loving. You sounded like you were holding back a laugh, like you were really happy. I sounded really happy, too. It seemed like a… Like a sweet moment.” His expression was contemplative, a little melancholy. “More importantly, do you see what I said when you’d asked whether I’d be good in that kind of situation?”

Hinata’s eyes flitted from the handbook to Komaeda.

“Yeah. You were confident that your luck would make things boring.” He offered the Student Handbook back to Komaeda, who nodded as he retrieved it. “But the other night you’d said it could go either way.”

“Yeah, exactly, and that really surprised me. It’s not something I would ever say confidently, at least not normally. My luck gives me an _edge,_ but like I mentioned while I was – while I was being an _asshole_ –” He seemed to take the pain in his head as a sort of redemptive punishment, because he inhaled sharply, grimacing, but then quickly composed an expression of dignity.

“ – _Ouch_ – I can rely far more heavily on manipulation than my luck. I’m not confident that I can always ‘get lucky’, it either happens, or it disastrously _does not._ But this conversation proved that I was _so_ confident in my talent at some point that I would _automatically_ ruin a mystery. So, in addition to everything you described me as, I heard _in my own voice_ that my talent was completely under my own control. Because of you. Because you _helped_ me.”

He looked at Hinata again, with an expression he needed a moment to parse. It was very determined, but there was something else behind his eyes.

  
Loyalty. Respect.

  
“Like I said earlier, I don’t expect forgiveness or trust. I royally screwed up. But I owe you, no, I owe it _to_ you, to try and be better. I want to be that version of me. I want to be good. I want –” He cut himself off, looking down. “I want to feel like a person, again. If you helped me once, could I… Could I ask that of you? I know it’s awful. You don’t owe me absolutely anything but _ow–!”_ Hinata swatted Komaeda’s head lightly, making him wince as he looked askance.

“I’m choosing to trust you. If that’s what you need, then obviously I’ll help. If it means you’ll actually start treating yourself with some dignity and learn to care about other people, I’m not just gonna shrug and tell you to buzz off. I don’t want you to suffer. I never wanted that.”

Komaeda opened his mouth but took a while to respond.

“I… Thank you. I didn’t expect you to be – I didn’t expect you to even want to be _around_ me, after my actions. Also, and I promise I’m not saying this out of some need to self-indulgently flagellate myself, I’m not going to forget what I did, either. I want to be more like you. You faced Hanamura-kun’s execution without looking away. I just…”

Hinata watched him, Komaeda looked deeply apologetic, mournful. Something stirred in him.

“I was hit by what I’d done. I saw what I had done to you, and to everyone, and when I saw – when I saw the execution, I threw up and cried. You stood there, facing the brunt of the decision we made, you took the shot no one else would take, and you didn’t hesitate. And all I did was cry and puke my guts out.”

He took a great, shuddering breath.

“If someone like you loved me, then I must have been a really great person. I want – no, I’m _going_ to be him again. No ifs, ands or buts. Plus, viewing myself more objectively, these past few days I must have been _really annoying.”_

He winced again, but laughed, and Hinata felt his expression soften. The anger was gone. His chest felt lighter. He glanced at the tray of food that he had brought for Komaeda, now looking sparser.

There was an apple close to rolling off the plate.

_  
He doesn’t like the actual parts of the apple though, he just likes the skins._

  
He blinked. He picked up the apple, looking at it.

“Do you want me to peel this for you?”

“I – huh?”

“You like to eat the peelings, right? I actually prefer my apples skinned, so. I can – I can peel it.”

“Uh.” Komaeda looked suddenly caught off guard. “Sure. I – I’d like that.”

  
Hinata went into the kitchen and pulled out a small knife from the drawer. He sat across from Komaeda and handed him pieces of apple skin as he worked the blade around the fruit.

He liked how it felt. He didn’t know why. He just found some pure enjoyment in handing each piece of apple skin to Komaeda, watching him munch on them, and continuing to peel it.

  
“It’s nice that you know how to do this.” He finally mumbled, and Hinata caught the fainted dusting of pink on his face. “I was always really bad at peeling things.”

“I know.” He said simply.

  
There was nothing more to it. He just knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note - Hinata's not an Ultimate Athlete or anything, but MY HINATA got to level 90 on my first playthrough while I was hatching every possible E-pet/Mono-Tomogatchi, so yes, he CAN run that much without getting winded. You can fight me 1v1 if you disagree because my file has the proof, lads.  
> Also, I just thought it would be a funny interaction. Komaeda being in disbelief because someone can actually run that much is just... Highly amusing to me.  
> I just finished writing out the second investigation and trial chapters - would you believe I'm almost at 100,000 words? I've had to come to terms with it - I'm essentially novelizing a 30+ hour game with additional character development and some divergences.  
> God help me.  
> Anyway, thank you all again for reading! I love you all dearly and appreciate all feedback and comments I receive! I hope you enjoy, and I'll see you soon! <3 <3 <3


	10. Old vs. New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata is responsible for making sure no trouble comes from his decision. He finds an unfortunate gift.
> 
> Naegi and Kirigiri discuss the ramifications of emotionality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DAMN, I DID NOT MEAN TO POST THIS EARLY. DAMN. DAMN.  
> I was editing and.. Oh well. It is what it is. Enjoy!

“You’re letting that maniac loose?!” Kazuichi snapped, pointing aggressively at Komaeda as Hinata explained everything to Nanami. Komaeda lowered his gaze, seemingly trying to figure out what to say.

“Yeah, I talked to him. He was having an episode. He’s going to actively try to get better.”

“Soda-kun, I’m _really_ sorry, I know that isn’t –” But Kazuichi cut Komaeda off angrily.

“Give me a solid reason to believe you, dude! Anyone can apologize! I can say I’m sorry for knocking you out but I _sure as hell_ wouldn’t mean it!”

“Kazu.” Hinata began gently. Kazuichi seemed slightly settled by the use of his nickname. “Komaeda’s gonna be sticking with me, alright? I’m basically going to be giving him… Ethics counseling?” He glanced at Komaeda, who looked embarrassed. “He doesn’t expect anyone to trust him. He just wants the chance to try again. Would you be pissed at Hanamura-kun if he’d backed out of killing at the last second?”

Kazuichi hesitated, clenching his fists.

“I guess… It would be better to know that he’d resisted the impulse rather than actually done anything. But – but this asshole was trying to cover for him! To get us all to commit suicide! I mean – _the fuck, man?!”_

“Kazuichi, I think we need to listen to Hinata-kun for now. If Komaeda-kun makes a mistake again, he knows what the consequences will be.” Nanami said gently. “We have to believe in our friends. I believe in Hinata-kun, so I trust that Komaeda-kun won’t act out. We all need to live with our mistakes, I think.”

Kazuichi was still scowling, but he wouldn’t yell at Nanami.

“One toe out of line – one slip up like that again –”

“I understand.” Komaeda said again with resolve. “I don’t expect forgiveness. I just – I want to be better. But I also don’t blame you for being angry and –” He closed his eyes briefly, opening them up when his face was composed into a look of dignified seriousness. “And if you hate me, punch me, or yell at me, I’ll understand that, too. None of this is your fault. I made things worse. I’m really sorry.”

Kazuichi seemed to take this to heart, his glare diminishing. He sighed and looked at Hinata.

“Alright dude. I trust you. Just… Keep an eye on him. I may trust you, but I don’t trust him.”

“It’ll be alright.” Hinata said, half for Kazuichi, and half to reassure himself. “Thanks for not punching him. Or me, for that matter.” Kazuichi chuckled, shaking his head.

“I know better than to hit a guy like you, Haji.” Hinata raised his eyebrows at the nickname but didn’t protest. He wanted Kazuichi in a good mood. “I heard from Owari that you have an insane left hook.”

“He definitely does.” Komaeda said with a wince, touching the large bruise on his face.

  
Hinata flushed with guilt, and went the rounds explaining the situation.

It was extremely rough. Like Kazuichi, most of them were pretty angry. Hinata actually felt his respect for Komaeda mount, however, as with every insult and accusation he simply agreed, nodded, and apologized. He didn’t start insulting himself or apologize for being scum – he apologized only for his behavior and did so with dignity.

  
They ended up walking to the library. Komaeda seemed slightly awkward, tailing after him.

“Sorry. I uh…” Komaeda looked for the right words. “I’m sticking with you because I don’t imagine it would be pleasant for others to see me wandering around freely, after everything. Thanks for… For your patience.”

“That sounded good.”

“Sorry?”

“I said ‘that sounded good,’ because it was honest. That’s a nice way to thank someone. It sounded good.”

Komaeda appeared to be at a loss for words, so he stayed silent, nodding. “And I don’t mind you being around. It’s good for me to have you around. I need to get my emotions under control, more. I find it easier to do with you. Well, easier when you’re not acting insane.” He said it lightheartedly, but Komaeda stayed quiet.

“You don’t have to keep your mouth shut, you know. I know you’re –”

“I’m… Trying to find the right things to say. I feel kind of like I’ve never talked to someone before without – without just… Doing the things I normally do. I don’t want to insult myself or make excuses, I –”

“Let’s find a place to sit.” He interrupted him as they ambled through the bookshelves. Sonia was in there, talking about some files she had found on famous serial killers. She eyed Komaeda slightly but was overall very cordial.

They exchanged with her briefly, where she was speculating something that Hinata hadn’t considered, pointing out diagrams on some old maps, fliers, and books.

“I was researching, and I believe there is a possibility that this place is an artificial island, like Palm Jumeirah. It is a huge artificial island located in the Persian Gulf, you see, used as a tourist destination. Similarly, the island we are on may _appear_ like Jabberwock island, but may in reality be artificial. That may explain why… We appear to be the only ones here, thus far, and so I am trying –”

Monomi suddenly appeared, cutting Sonia off.

“Don’t worry! This island is safe! But this library should be used for schoolwork, and for deepening your friendships with one another! So, um, maybe don’t… Read into it too much!” Monomi took the fliers and maps from Sonia and crammed them messily back onto the shelf. “Um – d-don’t think about these sorts of things! Stress is bad for your health, you know!” Her voice was squeakier than usual, and it set Hinata on edge. “So don’t -!”

“My, my!” Monokuma appeared behind Monomi, pulling her ears with incredible force even though his tone was light and airy. “You’re pretty intuitive to make those kinds of assumptions! But… Of course… I wonder who would have the power to do something like that? Maybe _those guys_ but… Whoopsie! Slip of the tongue!”

“Those guys? What guys?” Hinata looked back and forth at Sonia and Komaeda.

“Right, uh. You were unconscious when we first brought it up on – on the first day here. We got the sense that maybe some organization was behind this… Trip, or whatever you call it.” Komaeda explained sheepishly.

“That’s – that’s right! It’s just a trip! It’s a school trip for –!” But Monokuma grinded Monomi’s face into the carpet before she could keep trying to placate them. He giggled at her agony.

“Indeed, but we are unsure who would have the capabilities of such an enormous task.” Sonia continued thoughtfully, looked perturbed. Monokuma tittered, his next words heavy with mockery.

“Well, if it makes you _feel better,_ your guess might be closer than you think. And _those guys_ … If they’re responsible… They could really be called _terribly evil_ people. Bye now!”

  
And Monokuma disappeared before Hinata could yell at him to wait.

  
“That does not comfort me.” Sonia said quietly, staring into space with a deep sense of focus. “If this island were truly artificial… Excuse me, Hinata-san, I need to investigate something, and then I will gather the others. Please, if it is not too much trouble, can I ask you and Komaeda-san to come together at the ruins with everyone later?”

He nodded, and Sonia took off, leaving him alone with Komaeda, who looked incredibly uncomfortable.

“I’m uh – I’m sorry. I think my being around you is making the others kind of –”

“You like mysteries, right?” Hinata said, cutting him off, flipping through a horror novel. He didn’t want him to start descending into his anxieties over Sonia’s discomfort. “Do you like reading cases too?” He picked one out of a nearby shelf. This library had a _really_ strange selection.

  
Komaeda blinked, caught off guard by the sudden change of topic. He sat down slowly at one of the tables.

  
“Uh, y-yeah. I’m not really good at solving them, but I’m interested by the psychology of… Of murderers. Of people who could do that.” He had his hands tightly gripped together on the table, staring at them with a look of fierce frustration with himself. “But I think it would be redundant for me to read them now.”

Hinata sat across from him and slid the file over. Komaeda’s eyes glanced from it to his face.

“You mentioned brainteasers the other day but never followed through. So,” he gestured at the file with a flourish. “Tease my brain.” Komaeda looked like he was holding back on smiling.

“Alright, er… I guess I can make a scenario out of these.” He cleared his throat, scanning the pages thoughtfully. “Let’s see… Alright, here we go. There are two people found dead. One of them has no bloody injuries but seems to have some discoloration of the skin. The other has been shot in the head and is holding the gun in their left hand. Both bodies seem to be relatively new, with maybe a few hours maximum between their times of death. How, when, and why did each person die?”

Hinata leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.

“Is there a photo of the crime scene? Don’t show it to me, I just need to know if I can ask some questions about it.”

“Er – yes, there are a few in here.” Komaeda muttered, and Hinata could hear him leafing through the pages. “What do you want to know?”

“Where’s the splatter of blood?”

Komaeda hummed quietly, checking the photos.

“On the left wall.”

Hinata smiled, his eyes still closed. Something familiar stirred in his chest. He felt deeply content.

“The other person – what sort of discoloration is on their face?”

“It’s… Sort of a puce color? Purplish.”

“So it’s a hanging.” He glanced at Komaeda, who’s eyebrows were raised. “When I said, ‘their face’ you didn’t follow it up by saying ‘their whole body’.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “The blood splatter is on the left wall, but the gun was positioned on the same side, so it must have been placed there to make it look like a suicide… Oh, which room is this in?”

Komaeda took a while to respond, staring at Hinata for a moment before scanning the photos.

“The bedroom.”

“What’s the state of the room. Is it clean aside of the gore?”

Komaeda looked truly bewildered now.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah it looks really organized.” Hinata snapped his hand down on the desk decisively, accidentally making Komaeda flinch.

“Alright, last question. The entry wound from the bullet, is it between the ears or the eyes?” Komaeda was slowly grinning now.

“Between the eyes.”

“Got it. So two people – one of them is hanging from the ceiling, the other poorly staged as a suicide. I’m thinking the person who was shot died first, probably because they were caught cheating – that’s why the room was so clean. It was either the murder victim’s attempt to cover their tracks or the killer trying to fix their life by organizing the room the murder happened in. I’m leaning towards the latter because it’s common for someone guilty to pick up a compulsion. They were shot between the eyes while facing the right wall – they were moved in order to arrange their body differently.

“But… The killer couldn’t stand it. I think they were caught up in the heat of the moment and thought maybe they could justify their actions if no one found out they had done it. So they hanged themselves from the guilt. It would explain _how_ – a murder-suicide, _when_ – I’m guessing this happened around midday or evening, as they died with only a maximum of a few hours between them, and their bodies were found quickly – so they might have had work or other plans that made the discovery happen faster. Either that, or someone heard the gunshot. And as for _why_ … Because they were angry, and betrayed, and acted without considering the consequences.”

“How’d I do?”

“I – perfect. You nailed it.” Komaeda gave him an impressed nod as he slid the report back over to him, and Hinata felt a twinge of satisfaction.

He didn’t even have the same amount of evidence as the report had provided, but he came to the correct conclusion. He celebrated inwardly.

“That was really impressive Haj –” But he stopped, clearing his throat. “That was really impressive, Hinata-kun.” His correction was awkwardly quiet, and he looked guilty.

“Stop looking so sad. You can still call me Hajime, I don’t mind.” He said gruffly, kicking down the swell of immense adoration that his older self was feeling. But he felt something wrong when he thought of his older self. Something was off.

_  
Where is…?_

  
“Oh. Uh, thank you.” He bowed his head slightly, still looking embarrassed.

It was obnoxiously endearing.

“But, to go back to that – you know, your talent might be something regarding problem solving. You seem to be really good at it. I’ve read a lot of murder mysteries and murder cases before, but even if I _guess_ correctly, I can’t actually provide any reasoning. I just have a gut feeling.”

“I believe that.” He replied thoughtfully, his eyes scanning Komaeda’s face. His body language was somewhat withdrawn, but he looked so much more natural when he wasn’t putting on airs of condescension or self-loathing. Hinata suddenly recognized that _this_ was who had found so attractive on the beach, which made his chest flutter oddly. What was going on?

“When I asked you to help me pick the lock on your handcuffs with your luck, I trusted my gut, but there’s no way I could replicate it.”

“Ah yeah! That’s the feeling!” Komaeda seemed very excited by the thought. “No one’s ever actually felt it with me before, it’s nice to know that you felt the same sensation.” He then got flustered by his eagerness. “It’s – it’s nice that you sort of know what to _do._ I’m sort of glad that part of my memories got erased.”

Hinata raised his eyebrows and found himself laughing.

“Wh – what?! Why would –”

“Because… I really couldn't imagine how _relieved_ I must have felt back then, so it’s nice to be able to relive it.”

He fiddled with the papers in front of him.

“I don’t remember if I’ve told you this, but I’ve never actually, you know, had a real friend. Other than – other than uh, my childhood dog. And I loved him so much that I was scared he’d die while we were playing and then… Well, he got hit by a car when I tossed a ball for him to fetch. It… It was what I was worried would happen, and so… So it did.”

He looked truly miserable for a minute, and must have thought something cruel about himself, because he flinched horribly with pain, clutching his head. He shook it off, took a breath, and continued.

“Anyway uh, no one wanted to be around me. Even in the orphanage, I was alone, you know? I think they thought I was pretty creepy, I wasn’t dealing with my anxiety well. I never really have.”

He paused, his fingers now lightly tracing shapes on the table.

“When you’re a kid, you automatically think adults know everything. So, when even _adults_ are creeped out by you, you think ‘oh, there’s just something wrong with me’ like you were born wrong, and there’s nothing to be done. And then you suddenly become an adult yourself, and you’re _waiting_ to know everything, but you’re _just_ as confused as when you were little."

His hands twisted together, his eyebrows pulled close over his somber eyes.

"So then you just get angry, until the anger turns into some weird complex. Some people get delusions of grandeur, or other symptoms, and what’s funny is that I never thought people who were hurting were creepy! Not that I considered others outside of myself much, but the only person I was ever truly disgusted with was… Was _just_ me. Because _I_ was, _I deserved it – ow!”_

“Not a rational thought, huh?” Hinata replied kindly.

“I suppose.” Komaeda chuckled, rubbing a knuckle between his eyes. “So, you’re kind of my first f– uh –” He quickly changed his words. “You’re the first person who’s wanted to know more about me. You actually want to help me. That’s – that’s more than I… I’ll probably get zapped again if I say it. But I’m really glad. I’m really glad that I can – that I’m allowed to be near you. Thank you.”

Komaeda looked up at him fondly, a warm smile crinkling the corners of his green eyes. Hinata felt a flutter in his stomach, his heart aching.

  
And then Hinata finally registered, finally _recognized_ what felt so wrong about the swelling affection in his chest.

  
His older self wasn’t doing _anything_ now. Previously he had felt him so _clearly,_ ever since he’d first woken up on the beach. But there was an emptiness there. There was _no old Hinata._ It was _just him._ It was just his _current self._

Which should have been a relief, but…

“Maybe you should be nicer to yourself, Nagito.” He said finally, and Komaeda looked up with such shock that Hinata didn’t understand it. “It’s not evil to be in pain, you didn’t actually kill anyone. And… I don’t think you’re a bad person. You made a bad judgement call. It is what it is. I can forgive that, and I’m not angry at you.”

It _should_ have been a relief, but…?

“And if all of those people in your life avoided you – or neglected you – if they didn’t want your companionship…”

It _should_ have been a _relief, but –!_

“Well, I’ll take it. You can give it to me. I’d like that a lot, really.”

  
When Komaeda’s face broke into an almost tearful beam of sheer relief and happiness, Hinata felt his heart squeeze.

  
It should have been a relief, but it wasn’t. Because although his older self was gone, something else was there instead.

  
The feelings Komaeda was giving him _now._

  
  


They ran a few more scenarios, where Hinata got the sense that they were both enjoying themselves greatly. Whether or not this was his talent, he still liked riddles, he liked problem solving… And he liked being near Komaeda.

He stretched, feeling a deep sense of contentment. Komaeda yawned but looked pleased rather than bored.

“We should go outside. First we need to go meet everyone at the ruins, Sonia’s right, it might be good to investigate them more carefully. Then, I dunno, we can look around. Maybe grab something to eat.” Komaeda stood up, nodding. “Let me put this back really quick.” He scooped up the file and scanned roughly where he had found it –

“What?”

There was another file that he slid out slightly to make room for the one he had been using. It looked unofficial. He pulled it out from the shelf. It made him deeply uneasy.

“Hajime, I promise we can play with more scenarios later but for now – what’s that?”

Hinata didn’t answer. He just stared at the unlabeled green folder. It was the sort of folder that kids in primary schools used. It was entirely unremarkable.

But it was making him feel sick.

“I don’t – I don’t know.”

“Are… Are you okay?” Komaeda had a mingled expression of surprise, confusion, and concern. “What’s wrong with that folder? It looks normal to –”

But Komaeda suddenly stumbled backwards, falling flat on his back on the table, banging his head very loudly.

“That’s – I remember that – I r-remember that folder. W-why do I r-remember –?”

  
“AHAHAHA _HAAAA!”_ That shrill, nasty laugh.

  
“Ooh Hinata-kun you found it! You found it so _fast!_ Please, please, _don’t stop now_ –!” Monokuma started imitating moans of pleasure, and Hinata snapped.

“Shut up!” He barked. “You – what the hell is this, you –?”

“Oho, careful there Spiky. If you start launching barbs at me I’ll have to punish you!” He giggled, his beady eyes narrowing. “Didn’t I _tell_ you? It’s a present! A wonderful gift from your cuddly and generous headmaster!” Hinata’s hands were shaking violently. For some reason, he wanted to throw up.

“Go on then. _Open it.”_

He parted the folder open, and shakily sat down. It was… Blacked out. Or most of it was.

“What…?”

“GOTCHA!” Monokuma split into peals of rapturous laughter, rolling around and flailing with mirth. Hinata sat there, flipping through each page, feeling miserable, but he didn’t know why. There were a few places left alone, but they were single letters scattered throughout.

  
It was a code, that much he could tell. It took him a while to string the letters together in his head, when he finally managed, there was no payoff. They simply formed a cruel sentence.

_I am a talentless, ruthless monster._

Monokuma was just… Mocking him. For fun.

  
“H-Hajime?” Hinata felt his heart constrict at the words. “Are you okay –?”

“Hey Hinata-kun! What does it say? What does it say?!”

Monokuma’s voice was piercing, almost lecherous in its tone, like he was getting off on it, like he was getting off on everything he was putting them through –

_  
“I think he was taunting you at the end because… You probably didn’t give him the response he wanted. You performed purely on logic. But he had to make you feel bad at the end, to get a response. Cuz that’s what bullies do.”_

  
He closed the folder, smiling up at Komaeda. He pushed his anger aside. He just… Just had to distract himself.

Komaeda’s bright, sharp eyes, the tiny crease between his eyebrows, the bruises all over him that Hinata had to make sure healed properly, the wisps of wavy white hair. He was fine. He was going to be fine.

“Nagito, let’s go meet the others, alright? I need some sunlight.”

Komaeda blinked, glancing at the folder.

“It’s garbage. Whatever was written in here is illegible. We’ll throw it away on the way.”

“Oh, yeah, alright.” Komaeda seemed to take the hint as Hinata patted his shoulder. He straightened, turning his back on Monokuma.

“Aww, what? You’re really a pain, Spiky. You’re just gonna go play tonsil tennis with Crazy? You know, those things really shouldn’t be done on school property. Hey. Hey. _HEY.”_

Komaeda almost turned back, Hinata squeezed his shoulder.

“That’s what he wants. Ignore him. Let’s go.”

He looked back to Hinata searchingly. He composed his face into that look of determined dignity that Hinata appreciated so much.

He tuned out the shrill voice as they left the library.

He just needed to distract himself. He just needed to focus on what he could do now.

Kirigiri leaned back in Naegi’s chair, crossing her arms as she watched his screens for him. She heard him groan as he got up from the sofa.

“Well, I’m done. I have to say, for a memoir of memories written in a short period, Hinata-kun actually covered a lot. I mean – I mean _a lot._ Komaeda-kun _also_ didn’t hold back in his additions…” Naegi felt his face grow slightly hot as he said it. He glanced at his screen. “Oh, are they… Are they okay?”

“They appear to be getting along well. Komaeda-kun appears to have been stabilized. They have a very interesting dynamic.”

He pulled up a chair to sit beside her. He silently noted that, even while extremely exhausted and slightly frazzled from work, she was very pretty.

“Interesting dynamic?”

“Hinata-kun appears to be more stable around him as well. Despite being very different, they regulate one another’s anxieties, which then leads them to be more interactive and socially amiable.”

Naegi glanced at the memoir in his hands.

“Hinata-kun… He usually put Komaeda-kun first, right?”

She made a small sound of assent.

“But Komaeda-kun did the same. When Hinata-kun had his breakdown, Komaeda-kun didn’t freak out.”

“Komaeda-kun, if we’re to take Hinata-kun’s words as truth, which we should, is far more selfless than he initially appears. When one would be afraid, the other would immediately put aside his own fears to protect him. Hinata-kun is more logical, as expected of an Ultimate Analyst, but he’s more prone to anger and rudeness. It isn’t meant with malice, as you can likely notice. I understand him well. If I were more hot-blooded, I could easily be a person like him.”

“But Kirigiri-san is always level-headed. Sometimes a little cold, but more like autumn, don’t you think?” Naegi thought aloud, resting his head on his hand. “Maybe a little chilly, but you have your warm days.”

She blinked. He detected the faintest blush on the edge of her cheeks. She cleared her throat.

“It took me a while to develop restraint.” And she quickly changed the subject. “Komaeda-kun, conversely, is extremely emotional. His talent is driven by emotion, after all.”

 _  
Of course she dodges the compliment._ He thought with immense fondness.

  
“But whereas I expected Komaeda-kun to have a more inflammatory effect on Hinata-kun’s anger, _his_ emotionalism actually relaxes him. It appears to make Hinata-kun feel like he doesn’t have to analyze him too much.”

“I guess I read it a little differently.” She turned to him with interest. “Ah – right – that’s probably why you wanted me to read it.” He paused for a moment, thinking.

“W-well, I don’t think you’re wrong at all! I agree with most of what you said. B-but… I thought that Hinata-kun, or rather, I got the sense, that he felt he could be more vulnerable with him. Hinata-kun is a problem solver, right? But Komaeda-kun often tried to solve _his_ problems too.” He tugged at his collar, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“I think it’s – I think it’s maybe just a natural chemistry. I don’t think Hinata-kun could really analyze their relationship, which is why _now_ I understand why he lashed out. It might also be why he didn’t realize his talent was a talent at all. He fell in love, and that’s not logical. Feelings usually don’t have much logic. He can debunk anxiety because it’s irrational and easy to disprove, but love? I think that’s… Just something you have to deal with.”

  
He flipped to a certain page, pointing at a certain passage.

  
“I noticed, when referencing Komaeda-kun, Hinata-kun says _‘it is what it is’_ a lot. But that’s not really an analytical conclusion, right? I think that you’re right about him not having to analyze him, but – but I don’t think he cares to in the first place. I think that’s why he punched him in the simulation. How can someone switch from using only logic to just _‘it is what it is’?_ ”

Kirigiri was smiling at him. He felt a bloom of warmth from his neck, getting embarrassed.

“That’s why you need two sets of eyes, Naegi-kun. You have an emotional disposition.”

“That’s not very useful, Kirigiri-san. I’m just…” He shrugged, wishing he had something to keep his hands occupied. “I’m just going with my gut.”

“I’m sure Komaeda-kun would be very excited to meet you. You’d probably get along very well. And as he loves hope so much –”

“Ahh, don’t –”

“And you’re the _Ultimate Hope_ –”

“Kirigiri-san!” She chuckled, standing, and returning to her desk. Naegi moved back in his chair.  
  
“I hope they’ll be okay.” He mumbled and then felt something thrown at the back of his head. He realized it was a stack of files that had been copied and stapled together. He swiveled around in his chair. “Wh-why?!”

“I saw you wasting time. Use your talent and be optimistic.” Togami instructed. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, his hair was all over the place, his glasses hanging around his neck.

He had bags under his eyes.

“Were you… Sleeping in the _copy room,_ Togami-kun?”

He got hit in the face with more copies, which promptly answered his question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were wondering what the green folder contained before it was blacked out, well, I'm sure you can piece it together. ;)  
> I didn't mean to post this before midnight! I'm usually very careful about editing and saving drafts before they get posted on schedule but... Oh well, c'est la vie, right?  
> I truly hope you enjoy this chapter! The next one will be posted at it's normal time, which is generally a few minutes after midnight EST.
> 
> Please be kind to yourselves, and to each other! I love and appreciate you all! <3 <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second installment of "When I Don't Remember You", so hopefully everyone has read that first! I'm very excited to move forward with all of you. You may notice that there is not a set number of chapters to this fanfic as there was with the last one - that's because it's still being written! It has already far surpassed the length of the first, but to give myself some time, I will probably be posting once a day, rather than twice.  
> Please share your thoughts and feelings with me in the comments! A lot of what I'm writing here is experimental, and I'll be exploring some different mechanics that were present in DR2 with some creative divergences. If you have any feedback, please tell me! I'm still rather new to all of this, and every comment I receive fills me with love and motivation.
> 
> Thank you for reading my writing, especially when it is so self-indulgent and experimental. I love and appreciate you all! See you tomorrow! <3


End file.
